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I like Southern culture in general, but I'm not a fan of conservative politics. Are there areas in the South where me being a liberal atheist would not offend people? I'm not particularly fond of the culture of the West Coast and Northeast, as I prefer people who are more outgoing and don't beat around the bush.
It not only depends on your politics, but the culture you come from that can affect whether or not you can be happy in the south. When I first moved to the south, I found that I was not able to connect with or build solid friendships with most of the natives I met because culturally, I had nothing in common with most of them. Outside of politics, they have a mentality that I just couldn't relate to at all (mainly one of materialism). I found I only connected with native southerners if they were liberals also, and they definitely do exist. The easy fix is to make friends with other liberals or transplants. That's what I did I and that is what has made my time in the south much more bearable.
I've relocated from one conservative place in the south to another one that is even more conservative. And while the people I've met here are much nicer and friendlier, I don't connect with them culturally or politically either. But the fact that they are really nice and friendly makes a difference.
If you prefer people who are more forthcoming, you may find that more up north. If you find a southern city you enjoy, focus on meeting other people who have similar interests, join Meet Up groups.
But it's easy to ignore the church culture...people all around me go to church and it doesn't bother or influence my life one iota. I don't know why so many people say it bothers them or they can't get away from it. It hasn't bothered me AT ALL, not ever. If someone asks me about church I just say I don't go and that is that. Period.
I completely agree with this. I also don't mind that some non-church type functions are held at churches, it's not much different than holding them at schools or meeting halls, etc. I don't care if everyone around me wants to pray, as long as they don't mind me not praying. I really don't mind that much if people start talking about church, not any more than I mind people talking about baseball or any other subject I have no interest in... as long as they don't keep pushing when I politely change the subject.
As far as finding like minded people I think no matter where you are you have to actively seek them out, take classes, join groups at the library, do some community service type things, etc.
I've come to think that everyone has something they don't like about where they live. I grew up and went to school in Kentucky but I was very happy to move to Sacramento CA. It's not that everything in Kentucky was bad: I lived in Louisville which I consider to be the *least* southern/conservative area of the state. However I'm atheist, very socially-liberal, and my partner is of a different race than myself. Those were things that did not fit fabulously in Kentucky (from my personal experience, I'm sure someone will disagree) so I was glad for the opportunity to go to the West Coast. Some things about Sacramento remind me of Louisville: it's not huge, people are generally friendly and welcoming. Other things don't, like the fact that CoL is definitely higher, there's more traffic, but it's a ton more diverse in people and experiences. So, while I'm not a fan of the state government, I overall like California.
I think the OP should just ask themselves what will bring them the most happiness on a daily basis and look for that somewhere.
I completely agree with this. I also don't mind that some non-church type functions are held at churches, it's not much different than holding them at schools or meeting halls, etc. I don't care if everyone around me wants to pray, as long as they don't mind me not praying. I really don't mind that much if people start talking about church, not any more than I mind people talking about baseball or any other subject I have no interest in... as long as they don't keep pushing when I politely change the subject.
As far as finding like minded people I think no matter where you are you have to actively seek them out, take classes, join groups at the library, do some community service type things, etc.
Excellent comments. You can find like-minded people just about anywhere, no matter how conservative or liberal an area may be. Even if the area is mostly conservative there will still be a healthy number of liberals there as well.
But it's easy to ignore the church culture...people all around me go to church and it doesn't bother or influence my life one iota. I don't know why so many people say it bothers them or they can't get away from it. It hasn't bothered me AT ALL, not ever. If someone asks me about church I just say I don't go and that is that. Period.
It wasn't meant to be a pro or con outside of a general observation. I suppose it speaks more to Charlotte's infrastructure than anything else. Still it was surprising since it was the first time I encountered such a large amount of traffic because of church goers.
Just replace the words "can't get away from it" with noticeable presence.
People talk about it, people sometimes ask you to go, some people refuse to let their kids play with other kids if you're of the "wrong" religion, etc. It's noticeable.
There are places up north that are just as religious if not more so, but the difference seems to be that it doesn't come up in daily life as much/with as many people.
More than anything else Charlotte seemed generic to me, which I'd imagine is a result of the level of growth it has been experiencing.
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Originally Posted by Atlanta_BD
It not only depends on your politics, but the culture you come from that can affect whether or not you can be happy in the south. When I first moved to the south, I found that I was not able to connect with or build solid friendships with most of the natives I met because culturally, I had nothing in common with most of them.
True. Although this isn't only a southern thing. That's part of the loneliness that can creep in when your ability to find like minded people becomes limiting. Even when you just want to make a comment about current events making small talk you eventually learn that others are not going to be of the same opinion at best, at worst can potentially get you ostracized.
Not to mention even telling people you don't go to church can have the same result. We have neighbors who are what I'd consider reasonable and friendly people, but whenever they find out someone doesn't go to church they stop getting invites to their home.
At the same time that highlights something that's decent about the south in that people do know and interact with their neighbors. A lot of places in the states not only are your neighbors unknown to you, but an invite to their home would be unthinkable.
A lot of times I find there are places where you only see the negatives until you get a chance to travel to other places. Then you realize how great certain places are. Happened to me with Columbus. At first I didn't like it, but now it might make my top ten US cities (somewhere around #10).
Last edited by Port Pitt Ash; 06-28-2015 at 07:51 PM..
Welcome to the bastion of liberty and progressive minded thinking called the US South. Just wait, this is going to get interesting. I can't wait to see what happens in Mississippi.
If you want to split states into highly conservative areas, there are a few in PA that would fit that bill. The South is just like any other region...it may have more conservative areas than the Northeast, but there are still highly liberal areas as well. Even in the majority conservative areas you will often find that they are only 50-60% conservative, so that leaves a large chunk as non-conservative.
Yes, many liberals are happy living in the South. I am liberal and I don't demand that everyone around me agree with my views, as that is not a tolerant existence.
I have never sat in a bar in PA like I did in Mobile, AL and listen to the bar tender and patrons mock gay people, liberals, and the President. The South is just on a different level than anywhere else in the US. It just feels different as if it a different country. Many Europeans have noted the same thing. The South is just different. Throughout the history of the US they have been dragged kicking and screaming(of course because of the Fed Govt) to treat minorities of every kind more fairly. It is sad really that the US has such a large region within the nation that is so regressive. Just imagine if they had prevailed during the Civil War.
I live in a city of 100,000 on the fringe of Tampa, Orlando is about 45 min east of me. So a very populated area of people from all over. Yet there is a large population of people that have been here for generations. It is very nice here but the extreme of conservatism, is not something I can say is appealing to me about the area. I was fully aware though of this personality trait, of the area before moving here. So it is not something that overwhelmed me. I chose it because it fit my needs for affordability in retirement. Though I can't say I'm finding it quite as cheap as I thought it would be.
With that said. I can't seem to find a social circle of people here at all. I am not a church person at all, and frankly have no interest in religions. It is very family oriented here and church is such and extreme part of life here, that I feel out of place many days. There is a sandwich restaurant in the area I go to now and then. It would seem by clientele, it would not have that conservative vibe of people to it. Yet almost every time I go there, and when I'm alone and speak the slightest small talk to someone seated near be. Then I will most likely receive a brochure for a church as they leave, or during that small few words. I am starting to feel annoyed by this as it is all to frequent. Just goes to show why I said I'm not finding a social circle here. There are so many churches in the area, it is no wonder this goes on. I know they mean well but its really to much, and becomes uncomfortable when trying to meet people. Though I think a younger person would have an easier time here meeting people, vs a older person. Simple because the older are the most conservative and there are plenty of them here.
So you have to pick where you live in the Southeast very carefully. However I don't think you can really get away from the deep religious routes in the region. It is very much apart of the culture, no matter how big and dynamic the city may be you relocate to.
Frankly there are far better warm climates in Europe to choose from than the South. Coastal Spain blows away the South in terms of winter warmth and not getting the extreme cold the South does. And of course you don't have to deal with crazy right wing religious types. I have no intention of spending time down there in retirement. There are much better places in the world where people won't ostracize you because of your sexuality. Check out Barcelona and Sitges. Been there and it is beautiful.
I am in a group beach house in Rehoboth Beach DE and just asked a housemate from Alabama (though now living in DC) what polite society there thinks of people that are members of the Democratic Party. He put it this way. They are shunned and viewed as anti-religious by the conservative majority. Now this is among southern white society according to him. If you are at a dinner party and mention voting for the Democratic Party he said he has seen stunned looked on faces. They would rather vote for a dog than a Democrat. Just simply bizarre to me. The South obviously believes one party rule is "normal".
That's been my experience. Why when we left the East Coast burbs for a lower cost of living we chose the Midwest and did not follow the vast unwanted Northern liberals to the Carolinas.
The South is different from the rest of the US.
I'm happy that most of the states in the South who are no longer going to fly the Rebel Flag on state ground.
However, the South is mostly one ethnic group, 16 conservative Protestant religions, people who like hunting, guns and NASCAR. So I would not fit in.
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