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I'll take urban if by myself or with my wife, but a walkable suburb with kids.. And by walkable, I mean a main street or "downtown" within 1 mile, train access to a big city, a coffee shop, a few restaurants/bars.
In a perfect world, a neighborhood of 8k-10k sqft lots is good for me. Enough room for the kids to really play in the back yard, but not too large to feel isolated or to have to spend your weekends maintaining the lot.
I have always been a suburb kind of guy. I need just that little bit of space to spread out and not worry about tickets for taking the trash out on the wrong day or other silly stuff like that which you find in some urban centers. I am also too much of a car nut to want to deal with parking and the other hassles a car would introduce in an urban setting.
I currently reside in Los Angeles and people would say it is suburban and others say urban. It isn't urban like Downtown LA or Hollywood or Downtown Long Beach. It isn't what I consider suburban like Santa Clarita, Calabasas, Irvine.
It is like a large town. All the retail is focuses on major streets with public transit. Behind the major streets are the apartment buildings, duplexes, etc and then single family housing. The commercial major streets are a mix of traditional street facing retails with limited parking behind. Also some are more the small strip mall or major grocery stores OR large box stores like CVS/Rite Aid with a small parking lot. Then have some fast food places with drive ins. The commercial streets are not mixed used with retail below and residential above. Most of LA keeps residential and commercial separate. But everyone is not really far walking distance from the amenities. Not like walking in these curvy cul de sac areas. In the past the street cars went through these major streets which is why retail developed there and why they were wide.
So if I were to choose, then I would choose LA style suburban or urban, whatever you want to call it. Example areas is like Los Feliz, Silver Lake, Fairfax District, Highland Park, eagle Rock, Lincoln Heights.
I'm a born and bred suburbanite, and the suburbs are where I've always felt most comfortable. And yet, I've always been enthralled with cities as well. I enjoy visiting cities; I enjoy riding on their public transit; I enjoy experiencing their sights and sounds and partaking of their amenities.
As a young adult, I decided to scratch my urban itch and so I moved into Philadelphia. I lived there for 10 years, and for at least 9 of those years, I really loved it. But it started wearing on me toward the end. The hassles became more pronounced. Finally, a job change gave me the catalyst to leave; and I moved to a suburban community in Maryland. And in a lot of ways, it felt like coming home.
I still love exploring cities. (Well, up until the current unpleasantness started. Until things settle down, I'm going to be staying away from major cities.) But now, as a family man with children, I know that the suburbs are where I belong.
I'm in the perhaps minority mindset that I'm either all in for an urban setting, or all in for a far out suburban setting.
If I'm in the city, I want the true city life in a very active neighborhood. For a suburb, I want a suburb/exurb on the outer edge of a metro area that is quiet, not congested, have a wide yard, lower taxes, and a big house. Some more urban/pre war suburbs are nice too but that's about it. No "suburban" areas within big cities or mediocre post-war suburbs where there's congestion. Either I'm close to the action or far away from it.
I picked suburban but all suburbs aren't created equal. Arlington VA and Hoboken NJ are suburbs but one can argue that both are more urban than most US cities.
My suburb outside of DC is pretty suburban but I'm so close to the city, I can literally bike ride into via the trails or using public transport so I feel "connected" to the city. I'm near several walkable developments and we having a large thriving arts community here.
"Urban suburbs" sound pretty good to me. I think that, even though technically those are suburbs of larger cities, they are fundamentally different than the "suburban" lifestyle/idea that that word conjures up.
Sure, it's a suburb, but this is 100% urban to me and isn't 100% of Hoboken pretty much...just like this? If 100% of a city is 100% urban and is the 4th densest city in the country, I can't group it with "suburban life" compared with sunbelt/midwest "suburban life". Completely different lifestyles. Compare it to Cary, North Carolina - a suburb of Raleigh and idyllic suburban life for many:
I live in a very "car centric" state (Texas) and frankly, I love it. I love love love having a garage with a car in it, and I can (and do) hop into it and just go whenever and wherever I want. I can load it down with dogs, groceries, antiques, you name it.
I like the freedom of it.
I also enjoy the quietness of a suburb, just outside the city limits. I enjoy the big yard, the spacious patio, the privacy. I love hearing the birds in the morning, watching squirrels, etc. We have owls and even a bald eagle living in the woods behind our house and sometimes we see them flying through the air.
When I was younger I thought a penthouse in a huge urban area was what I wanted. Well, that is what I wanted - at that stage of the game (no kids, no husband). My youngest son still lives in an urban setting, in an apartment with no vehicle at all (he Ubers a lot but it's still cheaper than owning a car), in Austin. He loves it.
My oldest son lives in a tiny apartment, but he lives near a beach on an island. His house is pretty uninteresting but that's not what matters to him. He visited here a couple of years ago and said, "No offense, Mom, but your life seems like hell to me." This was because my husband and I were talking about building a raised garden. He thought it sounded like zero fun. But then, I care nothing about cave diving. THAT sounds like hell to me!
My oldest daughter wants a big, rambling farmhouse way out in the country, with acreage, chickens, goats, etc. Right now she's living in a four story home built in the 1700s, but town has built up around it so now it's smack dab in the middle of everything. Cool house though.
To each his or her own. I'm glad to have all the options we have!
Look at the crime statistics for America's major cities.
Compare them to a typical Canadian city or Boston.
No: it ain't normal. Nor really, a repeat of the '60's or 70's.
We are breaking new ground......
Laugh it off.
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