Why are Black ladies worth "less" in the dating world? (rating, support)
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I couldn't agree with you more. To get involved with a man who has children he's not involved in raising is asking for trouble. If he'll do that to other women, he'll do it to you too. Raising children is not a one-person job, financially or in any other way. I think too many women have the idea that they need to be 'strong' and not 'need' a man to raise their kids with them. But it's not about that. It's much better for the kids in every way to have both parents involved, unless one of them is abusive.
Definitely an issue. Honestly, that and other types of "feminist"-leaning ideology hurts the African-American community and people of African peoples all over. This is particularly true since so many within the diaspora lost so much of our traditional cultures, including familial structures/practices, due to slavery/colonialism. There has not really been much of a rebuilding of this. Efforts yes, but it really is taking time. That strong/not needing a man attitude has to be shed just as the neglect of children must be shed. Taking a better look at the positive cultural practices of our original cultures would be better than embracing what was largely "white female" ideology/movement. It's a shame how ingrained it is in some women's minds.
I had one experience among coworkers where those of us of African descent were either first generation Americans or immigrants, Christian & Muslim. We had all gone out along with our white American coworker and were talking about our parents' relationships. How our mothers cater to our fathers. Our fathers don't cook or rarely cook and are very spoiled. The white American girl turned up her nose and said that her mother never cooked for her father. How she does not agree with it and how "we" have come too far for that." We told her that such things are part of our cultures and work for us. And afterward, we laughed about her use of the term "we" as if her comments had anything to do with our peoples' experiences in the various countries they lived at the time. SMH.
I completely agree. We all need God and that need is apparent in all of us. But goodness, it's just screams with some individuals while they claim to be part of a particular faith.
Matthew 7 says it best..."Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them."
To put it bluntly: because they are physically unattractive.
No, I'm not a "racist" who hates black people either. I'm just telling it like it is. They have ugly facial features, and I have not met a single black woman in my life who I have considered "pretty."
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There are plenty of beautiful black women, IMO. Self-imposed problems such as a much higher than average obesity rate are more of a factor, IMO.
Definitely an issue. Honestly, that and other types of "feminist"-leaning ideology hurts the African-American community and people of African peoples all over. This is particularly true since so many within the diaspora lost so much of our traditional cultures, including familial structures/practices, due to slavery/colonialism. There has not really been much of a rebuilding of this. Efforts yes, but it really is taking time. That strong/not needing a man attitude has to be shed just as the neglect of children must be shed. Taking a better look at the positive cultural practices of our original cultures would be better than embracing what was largely "white female" ideology/movement. It's a shame how ingrained it is in some women's minds.
I had one experience among coworkers where those of us of African descent were either first generation Americans or immigrants, Christian & Muslim. We had all gone out along with our white American coworker and were talking about our parents' relationships. How our mothers cater to our fathers. Our fathers don't cook or rarely cook and are very spoiled. The white American girl turned up her nose and said that her mother never cooked for her father. How she does not agree with it and how "we" have come too far for that." We told her that such things are part of our cultures and work for us. And afterward, we laughed about her use of the term "we" as if her comments had anything to do with our peoples' experiences in the various countries they lived at the time. SMH.
I agree with you about feminism. I think it's a dubious philosophy designed mainly by upper class white women who don't need to rely on men, and don't like men very much. It's not something that's going to lead to anything good when spread out over a larger population. And I think black women have suffered more than anybody else from the effects of feminism, particularly the elimination of shame that men used to feel about not supporting their children.
To put it bluntly: because they are physically unattractive.
No, I'm not a "racist" who hates black people either. I'm just telling it like it is. They have ugly facial features, and I have not met a single black woman in my life who I have considered "pretty."
How original coming from an unemployed Texas redneck.
And here's a tip: if you are not a racist, there really is no need to say, "I'm not a racist".
Definitely an issue. Honestly, that and other types of "feminist"-leaning ideology hurts the African-American community and people of African peoples all over. This is particularly true since so many within the diaspora lost so much of our traditional cultures, including familial structures/practices, due to slavery/colonialism. There has not really been much of a rebuilding of this. Efforts yes, but it really is taking time. That strong/not needing a man attitude has to be shed just as the neglect of children must be shed. Taking a better look at the positive cultural practices of our original cultures would be better than embracing what was largely "white female" ideology/movement. It's a shame how ingrained it is in some women's minds.
I had one experience among coworkers where those of us of African descent were either first generation Americans or immigrants, Christian & Muslim. We had all gone out along with our white American coworker and were talking about our parents' relationships. How our mothers cater to our fathers. Our fathers don't cook or rarely cook and are very spoiled. The white American girl turned up her nose and said that her mother never cooked for her father. How she does not agree with it and how "we" have come too far for that." We told her that such things are part of our cultures and work for us. And afterward, we laughed about her use of the term "we" as if her comments had anything to do with our peoples' experiences in the various countries they lived at the time. SMH.
That attitude is why so many marriages end in divorce. I bet that same woman expects her husband to cater to her in certain ways. Married people should cater to each other, and they can do different things. If you take the position that you don't need to do anything for your spouse, don't be surprised if he/she sees little value in the marriage and walks away.
THIS! Family stability in America is more of a socioeconomic issue than an ethnic one.
And the rising divorce rates and single parent homes is occurring across the board. There are many stable families out there. However, I think what is happening to Blacks in America is also happening to other ethnic groups as well. I've seen dysfunction where I live, from both Blacks and Whites. And unstable families do happen more among the poor. However, I've seen it with some middle class homes too. Part of it can be culture, and the fact the divorces are easier to get these days.
I agree with you about feminism. I think it's a dubious philosophy designed mainly by upper class white women who don't need to rely on men, and don't like men very much. It's not something that's going to lead to anything good when spread out over a larger population. And I think black women have suffered more than anybody else from the effects of feminism, particularly the elimination of shame that men used to feel about not supporting their children.
I completely agree. Guess people need to be very active in ridding that kind of thought from the mentalities of the next generations. It seems that at some point, the whole "independent" idea became something "cute" and popular among many women but again, we all know who that ends up hurting the most. Hopefully more and more people will wake up, and those who know better can offer sound advice to those who need it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dazzleman
That attitude is why so many marriages end in divorce. I bet that same woman expects her husband to cater to her in certain ways. Married people should cater to each other, and they can do different things. If you take the position that you don't need to do anything for your spouse, don't be surprised if he/she sees little value in the marriage and walks away.
That same woman isn't even married. Her parents made it work, but not every man will be willing to live with that. It's a very selfish way to live and you pointed out, often leads to the end of a marriage.
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