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smilin', this must be the end stages of grieving that so many of us are going through. It seems to be almost like waking up from a nightmare, doesn't it? It feels good to almost feel "normal" again. That clip you shared about was a powerful message and thank you for telling the story. Now that we are in the end stages, we can accept that it's not all about "us" anymore. We had our time and now that time is ending. Time to get back to living life no matter how mundane it is without our other halves to share it with. Our husbands would be happy for us, that I do believe with all my heart. They would not want us to be miserable for the rest of our lives. I am happy for us.
I have my first official date. We meet for breakfast on Sunday morning. We have much in common, it sounds like. He and I were both in long term relationships and now we are on our own. We both are in our 50's. He is much more athletic than myself but my goal is to get in shape. We both want to be friends first. YEAH!!!
I am going to a pot luck dinner tomorrow night. I am now getting out of the house and meeting new people and it feels good.
Two weeks ago, I had a good cry everyday and I got it out of my system. Now it is time for me to enjoy life and be happy. I want to run, skip be fancy free and just explore new avenues in life and not be stuck. I deserve it. My husband is proud of me.
smilin', this must be the end stages of grieving that so many of us are going through. It seems to be almost like waking up from a nightmare, doesn't it? It feels good to almost feel "normal" again. That clip you shared about was a powerful message and thank you for telling the story. Now that we are in the end stages, we can accept that it's not all about "us" anymore. We had our time and now that time is ending. Time to get back to living life no matter how mundane it is without our other halves to share it with. Our husbands would be happy for us, that I do believe with all my heart. They would not want us to be miserable for the rest of our lives. I am happy for us.
Tami...I can relate to what you wrote...I feel like I just "woke-up" too. And I'm facing my new reality...I can't wave a magic wand and bring everyone back. (Wish I could!) But I can't...I agree with you. I don't think our husbands would want us to be miserable. But I'm sure they understand that it takes time to work through our grief. Don't you think?
I have my first official date. We meet for breakfast on Sunday morning. We have much in common, it sounds like. He and I were both in long term relationships and now we are on our own. We both are in our 50's. He is much more athletic than myself but my goal is to get in shape. We both want to be friends first. YEAH!!!
I am going to a pot luck dinner tomorrow night. I am now getting out of the house and meeting new people and it feels good.
Two weeks ago, I had a good cry everyday and I got it out of my system. Now it is time for me to enjoy life and be happy. I want to run, skip be fancy free and just explore new avenues in life and not be stuck. I deserve it. My husband is proud of me.
Thanks Tam.
Hope you have fun on your date. And fun at the pot-luck!
I have a confession...Seeing all the "snowbird couples" in my area this year made me feel a little sad and lonely at first. (Sad and lonely for my husband and my son too!)...There are "couples" everywhere! (In all of our stores and the bank and post office, etc.)...During the summer and hot weather months we have more of a mix of singles and couples. (Or families with kids, etc.) But now it's "couple mania" since the "snowbirds" have arrived for the winter...I'm happy for everyone. Just took me a few days to deal with my feelings.
Good for you, smilin'. Hope you have fun on the date and at the pot luck. I don't go anywhere to meet people. I've become content staying at home with my animals and puttering around the house and yard. I watch tv and read. It may sound strange but that's enough for me. Earl made me whole and now I am a whole person by myself and am content being so. I don't want to "share" me with anybody else again.
We're all different. (And that's okay!) The world would be boring if we were all "clones" or "carbon copies" of each other!...I'm not interested in being social or meeting new people right now either...I need time to "mend" and "heal." And time to come into my "own" in private...I help my friend with her "rescue cats" and this has been very rewarding...I love to "play around" in the kitchen and invent new recipes. Always find something to "do."..And I've always been more of a "loner" anyway. (By nature!)
Good for you, smilin'. Hope you have fun on the date and at the pot luck. I don't go anywhere to meet people. I've become content staying at home with my animals and puttering around the house and yard. I watch tv and read. It may sound strange but that's enough for me. Earl made me whole and now I am a whole person by myself and am content being so. I don't want to "share" me with anybody else again.
How much that says about Earl and about you Tami.
Nothing wrong with dating or not dating. It's different for each person.
What I think is important is each person being at peace and happy as they can be. Losing the most important person or people in one's life should be overwhelming and feel almost unbearable if those people were who we honor them to be.
To clarify, I worry about the person, such as a man I know, who stated he had lost the love of his life when his wife died. However, he took no time off work, had "professionals" clean out his late wife's closet and remarried within eight weeks.
We all deal with grief differently; however, I don't know if the man I mentioned decided to not grieve for whatever reasons.
I don't know if his current wife will be able to meet his emotional needs when he does start to grieve.
Death and grief are greater equalizers of all people. Some may not be able to grieve when they loose someone important to them for work reasons. That happened to me when my dad died. I could be gone 2 days and then I had to be back at a job I had regardless of how I felt. Sometimes, unfortunately, business does demand a limited time to mourn.
That doesn't mean I had no grief. I probably learned this concept best from myself. I functioned at the level I had to until Thanksgiving morning turned into Thanksgiving afternoon and I hadn't gotten out of bed. I totally knew what was happening to me; others didn't. Thanksgiving was my father's favorite holiday.
Grief will catch up with a person someday. In a sense for those who can immediately grieve and take care of themselves for whatever period of time, I hope those people can see what a gift it is to have time to grieve.
And when the time comes that a person feels better, I'm happy s/he has found what they need to continue living in whatever situation is best for him/her.
We're all different. (And that's okay!) The world would be boring if we were all "clones" or "carbon copies" of each other!...I'm not interested in being social or meeting new people right now either...I need time to "mend" and "heal." And time to come into my "own" in private...I help my friend with her "rescue cats" and this has been very rewarding...I love to "play around" in the kitchen and invent new recipes. Always find something to "do."..And I've always been more of a "loner" anyway. (By nature!)
I agree CA. Congrats on your work rescuing the cat you did!
I hope you'll share great new recipes with us. Who knows, we may have a budding gourmet chef emerging in your kitchen.
I'm like you - I need quiet time alone to heal. But I was so happy when two of my aunts came to see how I am physically recovering from a spinal injury which happened in June. Less than two minutes after being here one of my aunts turned and said, "How are you doing without Crick?"
I thanked her for asking and told her she had been the first person to ask. I do realize my siblings and others tend to think of my spine first, which should worry them. I don't have a roommate MD here to just take over like they arr use to.
But as a human I am capable of having lost the one I trusted the most and experiencing more than one situation or feeling at the same time.
I'm happy for those have reached a new level of healing.
Location: West of the Catalinas East of the Tortolitas
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[quote=tamiznluv;31872830]Good for you, smilin'. Hope you have fun on the date and at the pot luck. I don't go anywhere to meet people. I've become content staying at home with my animals and puttering around the house and yard. I watch tv and read. It may sound strange but that's enough for me. Earl made me whole and now I am a whole person by myself and am content being so. I don't want to "share" me with anybody else again.[/quote]
This is so me right now. It just took me 3 years longer to get there. I do my sewing, and I like to putter in the kitchen. I've been remodelling my home a little bit at a time (new kitchen sink and faucet, new blinds, took out the carpet in the DR and put down a wood laminate, am taking out the "garden" tub in my bathroom and converting it into a walk in shower (Mr. Athuritis has really gotten to my knees and hips in the last couple of years and stepping over the tub is not so easy anymore), shopping thrift stores and flea markets for cute little trinkets to decorate with, making the house more mine than ours. Every once and a while, I'll walk into the bedroom and for a second, it looks like Bob is in the bed, but that is just a blink and he's gone. I still feel him (or someone) around a lot. I keep thinking Andrew's in his room when he's been in his own place since July. It just feels like I'm not alone, and I like to think Bob's watching over me. For that reason, I can't share me with anyone else again, plus I don't want to.
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I do my sewing, and I like to putter in the kitchen. I've been remodelling my home a little bit at a time (new kitchen sink and faucet, new blinds, took out the carpet in the DR and put down a wood laminate, am taking out the "garden" tub in my bathroom and converting it into a walk in shower (Mr. Athuritis has really gotten to my knees and hips in the last couple of years and stepping over the tub is not so easy anymore), shopping thrift stores and flea markets for cute little trinkets to decorate with, making the house more mine than ours. Every once and a while, I'll walk into the bedroom and for a second, it looks like Bob is in the bed, but that is just a blink and he's gone. I still feel him (or someone) around a lot. I keep thinking Andrew's in his room when he's been in his own place since July. It just feels like I'm not alone, and I like to think Bob's watching over me. For that reason, I can't share me with anyone else again, plus I don't want to.
