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I think there is a wide variety of "acceptable" in this thread. There is a difference between "tidy" and "clean." I would never prepare a meal on a dirty counter top, but on the other end of the island is a pile of mail that needs to be dealt with. I would never have guests over without cleaning the toilets, but there will be a pile of laundry waiting to be folded in the master bedroom, and it will remain there all weekend while I visit with my guests. Maybe when I'm retired I'll take the time to make the beds every day, open blinds, and turn on lamps. Maybe not, For now, I'm busy just trying to get myself and the kids out the door in the morning, and homework done, dinner prepared, etc. in the evening.
^The bolded part. I don't really understand the OP's second post about hippies and so on. Sounded a bit odd to me. I have a friend that is a "hippie". She is an artist, her house is colorful, wacky but clean, inspiring and beautiful. Sadly, there are people that really don't understand the difference between untidy and down right dirty.
What tiny lives people must live if they obsess about the cleanliness of other's homes. There's a big wide world out there, how shallow to imagine that your way is right. I have had glorious evenings filled with laughter, good company, and exquisite food in tin shacks, mud huts, you name it. Who cares if there is laundry undone or dirty dishes in the sink. Good grief.
The OP's main question is "how can people feel good about themselves..." I think the answer is a) some people don't. and b) people are different. People have different thresholds for how much noise they can handle, how much personal space they need, all kinds of things, including how much clutter they can deal with.
I admit it, I'm somewhat of a slob. I leave dirty dishes in the sink until I've got enough to do a load in the dishwasher. Then I leave the clean dishes in the dishwasher and pull them out as I need them.
My fridge is relatively clean because I cook a lot, so there's not a ton of stuff in there that sits unused to rot away.
Generally speaking, I hang up my clothes after drying them, but that's just because I hate, hate, hate ironing.
My living spaces are cluttered with dog toys, books, etc. To me, "everything in its place" is wherever I put it down. Guess this is another good reason to stay single, so I don't annoy anyone but my mother when she comes to visit!
I am a neat freak, but as I get older I overlook a few thing!!! I will admit that my mood is much better when things are orderly. I keep most of the house company ready however I have a sunroom that I have my tv in and that is where I live. It is clean but has way too many books, magazines and other homey things! My garage is another thing. It seems to collect everything that does not have a home!!!I have friends that are neat like me and then some that make me wonder how they can live in a dirty cluttered house. I still enjoy their company though. Who am I to judge them? I am sure they think I am goofey!!!
I'm sure we all know that 'clean' is relative. So is 'neat," "tidy"...'dirty' or 'filthy.'
I do not clean or keep my house in order -- and tell all my friends that. They've been forewarned that if they come to my house, I need a week's lead time (or minimum a couple of days) to get the place what I consider presentable for company.
(But that's not an issue because with people working and busy we have to make plans at least a week ahead to get together anyway. And I almost always go to their house, partly so I DON"T have to clean up.)
They know that if Gd forbid I get sick at work or drop dead-- when they go into my house they'll find underwear hanging on doorknobs, laundry on tables, dirty dishes in the sink, food, vitamins or grocery bags out on the counter -- and clothes and magazines and books on half my bed My frig is clean, for the most part. not pristine. But certainly closer to that than 'hoarder house." The ONE thing I do keep 'clean' is toilets -- can't STAND water rings. Go figure.
I have a friend who keeps her place immaculate. you could eat off the floor. I just not interested in spending my time cleaning. And of course all the clean folks say -- "It doesn't take that long." well I dont' care if it IS only 10 minutes a day, I don't want to spend my time that way.
You said it, sister. My husband and I are the same way. There's clutter in most places. Why? I don't like to clean. I cook all the time, wash the dishes every day without fail, do several loads of laundry a week, vacuum a couple of times a week, but I don't dust that often, various assortments of junk is piled up on our coffee table, and I get behind on the mopping as well. There are only so many years in my life, and I don't know how many that will be. When I die, I want to die knowing I spent my life doing something worthwhile: work that I love, spending lots of time with friends and family, visiting faraway places, or just sitting, reading a good book. I won't ever lie on my deathbed thinking, "I didn't scrub my toilets often enough while I was alive."
Believe it or not, keeping a neat and clean average sized home really isn't all that time consuming, if everyone who lives in the home pitches in and does their part. I have always kept a very neat and clean home and I have never spent more than an hour a day total (other than weekend cleaning sprees or projects - then usually about three hours every coupla weeks or so) on housework - even when I worked full time and had a house full of school age kids (four to be exact).
So it's not a matter of "you EITHER keep a neat and clean house OR you spend quality time with your family or doing things you love" most of the time. It doesn't have to be "either/or." The key is finding the balance that fits your priorities best. For me, I feel that my quality of life (as well as my family's) is negatively impacted by clutter and mess. I feel that a clean and tidy home is a pleasant environment to raise a family in. I feel that it's important to set that example and that standard, even if it does mean that sometimes I have to ride a teen's butt to clean that closet, or pick up that room.
Now my kids are grown and gone - and three of the four are just as neat and orderly as I was. They are also balanced and emotionally healthy - the one who is a slob is also the one that's the "dysfunctional" one in the family, and that's just the sad but honest truth.
I'm not saying our family's experience is "one size fits all" - I'm just saying that's been our experience. My kids have always told me that it was very pleasant growing up in a clean and aesthetically beautiful environment - I think they truly appreciated it, if their homes are any indication. Even my sloppy one loves art and takes an interest in decorating - even if his trashcan is overflowing and you can't see his closet floor!
You said it, sister. My husband and I are the same way. There's clutter in most places. Why? I don't like to clean. I cook all the time, wash the dishes every day without fail, do several loads of laundry a week, vacuum a couple of times a week, but I don't dust that often, various assortments of junk is piled up on our coffee table, and I get behind on the mopping as well. There are only so many years in my life, and I don't know how many that will be. When I die, I want to die knowing I spent my life doing something worthwhile: work that I love, spending lots of time with friends and family, visiting faraway places, or just sitting, reading a good book. I won't ever lie on my deathbed thinking, "I didn't scrub my toilets often enough while I was alive."
But some of us actually enjoy cleaning. I'm not a "sit still" type of person. Clutter drives me insane! As do sticky surfaces, dirty bathrooms, messy kitchens, dirty floors. We have little kids, so obviously things get messy when they're playing. But we have a rule: if you're actively playing with toys, make a mess. When you're done playing, they go back to the toy box/shelves/baskets. Clutter and mess in my own house just isn't something I can live with. But it doesn't bother me in other people's houses, assuming you're not a hoarder with dead animal carcuses in your junk!
I never visit anyones house , but I must admit to hating clutter of any kind..it makes me head feel muddled too... I like clear worktops in the kitchen, clear windowsills. beds made always. floors cleaned, hate footmarks, the worse thing though is a smelly house.. I remember well from when I was young and went to a schoolfriends house... it was a mix of cooking, babies nappies, smoke and smelly feet.
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I have a friend that is a "hippie". She is an artist, her house is colorful, wacky but clean, inspiring and beautiful. Sadly, there are people that really don't understand the difference between untidy and down right dirty.
My frig is clean, for the most part. not pristine. But certainly closer to that than 'hoarder house." The ONE thing I do keep 'clean' is toilets -- can't STAND water rings. Go figure.
