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A friend emailed me this.. I thought it was cute:
THE RULES OF RURAL ILLINOIS ARE AS FOLLOWS:
Listen up City Slickers !
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.
3. Let's get this straight; it's called a "dirt road." I drive a pickup
truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get
dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. They're live steaks. That's why they smell funny to
you. But they smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? Rt. 24
goes east and west, I-57 goes north and south. Pick one.
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 combines
and hay balers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. So every person in ILLINOIS waves. It's called being friendly. Try to
understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming
in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up
to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah, we eat taters & gravy, beans & cornbread. You really want sushi &
caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious
holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of
age.
11. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you
can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 po unds of ham & turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,
vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup. Oh,
yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you
eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!
13. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and served
over ice.
14. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to
shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
15. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers
and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it
spooks the fish.
17. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities, Community
Colleges, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an education plus a love
for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come for
the holidays.
18. We have a whole ton of folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and
Marines. So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the
best.
19. Turn down that music! That blasted thumpty-thump-thump, ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your
boxers. Refer back to #1.
20. 4 inches isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry. Drive like you got some
sense in it, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and bleach from the
grocery stores. This ain't Alaska, worst case you may have to live a whole
day without croissants. The pickups with snow blades will have you out the
next day.
AMEN to that!!!
Last edited by Road Warrior; 04-09-2008 at 03:31 PM..
A friend emailed me this.. I thought it was cute:
THE RULES OF RURAL ILLINOIS ARE AS FOLLOWS:
Listen up City Slickers !
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.
3. Let's get this straight; it's called a "dirt road." I drive a pickup
truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get
dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. They're live steaks. That's why they smell funny to
you. But they smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? Rt. 24
goes east and west, I-57 goes north and south. Pick one.
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 combines
and hay balers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. So every person in ILLINOIS waves. It's called being friendly. Try to
understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming
in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up
to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah, we eat taters & gravy, beans & cornbread. You really want sushi &
caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious
holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of
age.
11. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you
can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 po unds of ham & turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,
vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup. Oh,
yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you
eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!
13. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and served
over ice.
14. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to
shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
15. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers
and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it
spooks the fish.
17. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities, Community
Colleges, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an education plus a love
for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come for
the holidays.
18. We have a whole ton of folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and
Marines. So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the
best.
19. Turn down that music! That blasted thumpty-thump-thump, ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your
boxers. Refer back to #1.
20. 4 inches isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry. Drive like you got some
sense in it, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and bleach from the
grocery stores. This ain't Alaska, worst case you may have to live a whole
day without croissants. The pickups with snow blades will have you out the
next day.
I think it's stuff like this that turned me against the area. If you choose to move to a city or something, you are considered crazy. People who are 55 years old and have lived in southern Illinois for 55 years just can't fathom somebody wanting to get the hell out of there. All my friends and family are there, but that's just a sad fact.
I think it's stuff like this that turned me against the area. If you choose to move to a city or something, you are considered crazy. People who are 55 years old and have lived in southern Illinois for 55 years just can't fathom somebody wanting to get the hell out of there. All my friends and family are there, but that's just a sad fact.
I know a large number of people who were born and raised in the Chicago area and chose to live there as adults. Is that just a sad fact too?
I know a large number of people who were born and raised in the Chicago area and chose to live there as adults. Is that just a sad fact too?
Anyone who spends their entire life in one place, is going to have some limits on how they view the world. The difference being, living your entire life in Chicago, or any other large urban area, your worldliness is going to be greater. Your chance of reaching your lifes potential is greater.
We live in a free country, and everyone can live where they want to live. But living your entire life in rural Southern Illinois is the equivalent of selling out. You will never be as smart as you could have been, and chances are, you will have alot less money than you would have had if you had lived somewhere else.
I know a large number of people who were born and raised in the Chicago area and chose to live there as adults. Is that just a sad fact too?
Reading Comprehension 101...Contact your local community college.
My point is people not understanding how anyone would want to get out of there. Are your friends who were born and raised in Chicago like that? They can't imagine anyone wanting to get out of there? It's one thing because even if they did think that, Chicago actually has things to do. In southern Illinois there are "outdoor actiities" (read: hunting, fishing).
Anyone who spends their entire life in one place, is going to have some limits on how they view the world. The difference being, living your entire life in Chicago, or any other large urban area, your worldliness is going to be greater. Your chance of reaching your lifes potential is greater.
We live in a free country, and everyone can live where they want to live. But living your entire life in rural Southern Illinois is the equivalent of selling out. You will never be as smart as you could have been, and chances are, you will have alot less money than you would have had if you had lived somewhere else.
Exactly. Summed up my thoughts in an intelligent way.
Anyone who spends their entire life in one place, is going to have some limits on how they view the world. The difference being, living your entire life in Chicago, or any other large urban area, your worldliness is going to be greater. Your chance of reaching your lifes potential is greater.
We live in a free country, and everyone can live where they want to live. But living your entire life in rural Southern Illinois is the equivalent of selling out. You will never be as smart as you could have been, and chances are, you will have alot less money than you would have had if you had lived somewhere else.
What makes this statement so intelligent? I think it sounds like a personal problem, not an "intelligent statement!" LOL...
Reading Comprehension 101...Contact your local community college.
My point is people not understanding how anyone would want to get out of there. Are your friends who were born and raised in Chicago like that? They can't imagine anyone wanting to get out of there? It's one thing because even if they did think that, Chicago actually has things to do. In southern Illinois there are "outdoor actiities" (read: hunting, fishing).
Well, yes many of them are like that. I understand your point of view, I was the same way when I was younger. But after you get through college, live in other areas, travel, rub elbows with people from different backgrounds and basically grow up, you realize that people are the way they are for many reasons and you can value the good in them despite not agreeing with their choices. I have a great deal of respect for my freind from high school who, after college, chose to live in our hometown. Heck, even John Mellencamp wrote a song about it. I will stop now because I don't think this is the direction the op intended this thread to take!
A friend emailed me this.. I thought it was cute:
THE RULES OF RURAL ILLINOIS ARE AS FOLLOWS:
Listen up City Slickers !
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.
3. Let's get this straight; it's called a "dirt road." I drive a pickup
truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get
dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. They're live steaks. That's why they smell funny to
you. But they smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? Rt. 24
goes east and west, I-57 goes north and south. Pick one.
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 combines
and hay balers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. So every person in ILLINOIS waves. It's called being friendly. Try to
understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming
in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up
to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah, we eat taters & gravy, beans & cornbread. You really want sushi &
caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious
holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of
age.
11. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you
can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 po unds of ham & turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,
vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup. Oh,
yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you
eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!
13. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and served
over ice.
14. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to
shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
15. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers
and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it
spooks the fish.
17. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities, Community
Colleges, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an education plus a love
for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come for
the holidays.
18. We have a whole ton of folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and
Marines. So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the
best.
19. Turn down that music! That blasted thumpty-thump-thump, ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your
boxers. Refer back to #1.
20. 4 inches isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry. Drive like you got some
sense in it, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and bleach from the
grocery stores. This ain't Alaska, worst case you may have to live a whole
day without croissants. The pickups with snow blades will have you out the
next day.
What makes this statement so intelligent? I think it sounds like a personal problem, not an "intelligent statement!" LOL...
And what exactly is that personal problem?
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I think it sounds like a personal problem, not an "intelligent statement!" LOL...
