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I don't think my Mom was a huge fan of "Mother's Day." It was hard for her to take "center stage" and be in the "spotlight!" And I feel this way a lot too...I'm happy when my birthday rolls around. It's nice to have a "special day" of the year. Don't you think?...But it's hard for me to be put on the "spot" with the "spotlight" on me!.. I enjoy just being "one of many" on regular holidays the best! How do you feel about it? Thanks.
Yes. My husband was in retail for a while and he gets antsy now, around Christmas. It must be a really traumatic experience.
What do you tell kids when Santa can't afford their desired presents?
I am not sure that I like parents lying to children about stuff like that. Not lying was a big thing when I was a kid and to know that your parents, whom you trust most in the world, would do this is a really tough lesson to learn at a young age.
When your imaginary friend, Santa, is just a joke, so must be your religious figures.
I guess it may be a good lesson to learn how the world works.
We often like to remember the good of our departed loved ones during holidays, but my father was stubborn and bull headed and unreasonable at times and my mother could be overbearing and insistent. I miss the nice times, but not so much some others. If you think of the crappy times with the family you quickly forget feeling sorry for yourself.
It's just amazing that it doesn't work that way. Well, it does for some people from things I've read on the religion forum, but most religious people who believed in God as children had no problem separating the two concepts. It may also depend upon the sharpness of the kid. I can't remember what age I was when I realized that Mom and Santa had the same wrapping paper and had that Aha! moment, but my own kid was about four when she started to get suspicious and asked if it was really Daddy and Mommy who bought the stuff and wrapped it and just SAID it was from Santa. I assured her it was Santa--and she got the message that she was to humor Mommy for a couple more years.
It's just amazing that it doesn't work that way. Well, it does for some people from things I've read on the religion forum, but most religious people who believed in God as children had no problem separating the two concepts. It may also depend upon the sharpness of the kid. I can't remember what age I was when I realized that Mom and Santa had the same wrapping paper and had that Aha! moment, but my own kid was about four when she started to get suspicious and asked if it was really Daddy and Mommy who bought the stuff and wrapped it and just SAID it was from Santa. I assured her it was Santa--and she got the message that she was to humor Mommy for a couple more years.
I get the idea that parents do this as a cruel joke on the kid whom they have had to put up with all year. Ha! Look at the little dummy, believing all that blather!
My parents really kept the ruse going for too long. I got in fights with kids, honestly, because my parents were perfect (back then) and would never lie.
Yeah, stupid.
I don't know what I would do about a kid and religion. I think it's good that they feel as though they came from someplace and are going someplace, because that's my belief, but most religions just don't get it right.
I think kids reared with no religion are sometimes prone to become fanatics later on if a zealot comes across them in the wrong place in life.
I get the idea that parents do this as a cruel joke on the kid whom they have had to put up with all year. Ha! Look at the little dummy, believing all that blather!
That cracked me up, but um, no, I never felt that way about my daughter. It's pretty funny, though in a sick sort of way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by goldengrain
My parents really kept the ruse going for too long. I got in fights with kids, honestly, because my parents were perfect (back then) and would never lie.
Yeah, stupid.
I don't know what I would do about a kid and religion. I think it's good that they feel as though they came from someplace and are going someplace, because that's my belief, but most religions just don't get it right.
I think kids reared with no religion are sometimes prone to become fanatics later on if a zealot comes across them in the wrong place in life.
I think that depends upon how well grounded they are. On the other hand, I know (online) a guy who is a die-hard conspiracy theorist, believes in the secret shadow government that is controlling everything and how we must fight and prevail against it. He is also atheist. I asked him once if he was raised in a fundamentalist religious household, and he said yes--until well into adulthood he was that way. I could SEE this--instead of the concept that everything in life is good vs. evil, and that Satan and his forces of darkness are constantly out to trip us up, he has replaced that form of religious belief with these other, parallel beliefs. The shadowy, unseen force of evil of which we have no control but which wreaks havoc on our lives has been re-identified into vague group of unseen human beings, but the story is still pretty much the same.
My children are my life, my daughter my angel, my world, my salvation. I didn't think she was a "dummy." To even use that word makes me dizzy and a bit nauseous.
Growing up, I didn't have a Santa. Just Jesus. My mother strongly believed in the religiosity of the season. It seems a bit odd now, since many people now realize that Christmas was a pagan holiday and had nothing to do with Christianity. In fact, I finally got my mother to stop the haughty criticism of others regarding Christmas a few years ago. After 70 years of tsk-tsking family, friends and neighbors for Christmas commercialism!
I loved having a Santa for my children. There is something wondrous about selfishly giving to others and not taking the credit. I truly think my daughter - the youngest - was in awe when she realized that I loved giving and never letting on that it was me, even when I didn't have the money. In fact, coming up with gifts somehow made it that more magical.
I know people that are religious zealots that were raised by religious zealots. I know people that were raised by teetotalers that drink like fish. I know people that were raised by cigarette smokers that never touched a ciagarette. I know atheists that spent every waking moment as children in school or in church.
People are what they are. That's the beauty of becoming an adult. You can do what you want. Some of us do as are parents did, some don't. Some a little of everything.
******
I know what you mean, MightyQueen. I don't cook as much now that I'm single. On the other hand, I didn't cook much for him, either, since he didn't like a lot of things. I do cook for my co-workers and I also like making casseroles and such to take to work for awhile. It beats going out and eating subpar fast food or endless frozen meals. (I almost dated myself and wrote "TV dinners!")
Last edited by hiknapster; 05-05-2012 at 09:20 AM..
My children are my life, my daughter my angel, my world, my salvation. I didn't think she was a "dummy." To even use that word makes me dizzy and a bit nauseous.
Growing up, I didn't have a Santa. Just Jesus. My mother strongly believed in the religiosity of the season. It seems a bit odd now, since many people now realize that Christmas was a pagan holiday and had nothing to do with Christianity. In fact, I finally got my mother to stop the haughty criticism of others regarding Christmas a few years ago. After 70 years of tsk-tsking family, friends and neighbors for Christmas commercialism!
I loved having a Santa for my children. There is something wondrous about selfishly giving to others and not taking the credit. I truly think my daughter - the youngest - was in awe when she realized that I loved giving and never letting on that it was me, even when I didn't have the money. In fact, coming up with gifts somehow made it that more magical.
I know people that are religious zealots that were raised by religious zealots. I know people that were raised by teetotalers that drink like fish. I know people that were raised by cigarette smokers that never touched a ciagarette. I know atheists that spent every waking moment as children in school or in church.
People are what they are. That's the beauty of becoming an adult. You can do what you want. Some of us do as are parents did, some don't. Some a little of everything.
******
I know what you mean, MightyQueen. I don't cook as much now that I'm single. On the other hand, I didn't cook much for him, either, since he didn't like a lot of things. I do cook for my co-workers and I also like making casseroles and such to take to work for awhile. It beats going out and eating subpar fast food or endless frozen meals. (I almost dated myself and wrote "TV dinners!")
Pretty sure that "Dummy" thing was just thrown in to stir up controversy. Some posters do that just to see what the results are. I agree, it was fun when my daughter was little to do the Santa thing (and the Easter bunny thing) and leave out cookies (and then eat them) and leave a note and boot tracks and reindeer tracks out on the front lawn, hehehe. There's such a short window of time that you can get away with such things, too.
I cook for myself, but keep it simple. Frankly, I have very long days between my job and 3 hours of commuting time each day, and I'm not walking in the door at night thinking, "Oh goody, now I can stand at the stove and cook myself a big meal!" But I have enough of a repetoire of easy meals to make to get me through, and I don't mind leftovers so I often make enough for a couple of dinners.
Pretty sure that "Dummy" thing was just thrown in to stir up controversy. Some posters do that just to see what the results are. I agree, it was fun when my daughter was little to do the Santa thing (and the Easter bunny thing) and leave out cookies (and then eat them) and leave a note and boot tracks and reindeer tracks out on the front lawn, hehehe. There's such a short window of time that you can get away with such things, too.
I cook for myself, but keep it simple. Frankly, I have very long days between my job and 3 hours of commuting time each day, and I'm not walking in the door at night thinking, "Oh goody, now I can stand at the stove and cook myself a big meal!" But I have enough of a repetoire of easy meals to make to get me through, and I don't mind leftovers so I often make enough for a couple of dinners.
Happy Mother's Day to all!...I'm going to be off the forum for awhile. Want to work on a new idea for a book. And "create time" for other projects that have been "waiting in the wings" for awhile...I want to move to a new area soon. Have a couple of places in mind but I'm just not sure where I want to live yet. (And what will work out best for both me and my son.).. Can't keep procrastinating forever. Time to make things "happen!"... Anyway Happy Mother's Day! Have fun! Thanks for being my friend! I'll check-back down the road a bit.
Pretty sure that "Dummy" thing was just thrown in to stir up controversy. Some posters do that just to see what the results are. I agree, it was fun when my daughter was little to do the Santa thing (and the Easter bunny thing) and leave out cookies (and then eat them) and leave a note and boot tracks and reindeer tracks out on the front lawn, hehehe. There's such a short window of time that you can get away with such things, too.
I cook for myself, but keep it simple. Frankly, I have very long days between my job and 3 hours of commuting time each day, and I'm not walking in the door at night thinking, "Oh goody, now I can stand at the stove and cook myself a big meal!" But I have enough of a repetoire of easy meals to make to get me through, and I don't mind leftovers so I often make enough for a couple of dinners.
Thank you.
Yes. I guess the trick is in seeing life as shades of grey. We all stretch the truth at times. It just seems to me to be something not to do to the ones who really depend on you for their very lives - children.
Is it healthy to imprint in a young mind this fantasy of Santa/Jesus(maybe)? If we encourage our children to believe in mystical imaginary characters, how does it mold them? Has anyone done a study on this? It happens when a child is very vulnerable, believes everything you tell them and knows that you would never deceive them.
I'm not sure, but there should be a study.
I am not saying it's a bad thing, but it must have some impact.
Yes. I guess the trick is in seeing life as shades of grey. We all stretch the truth at times. It just seems to me to be something not to do to the ones who really depend on you for their very lives - children.
Is it healthy to imprint in a young mind this fantasy of Santa/Jesus(maybe)? If we encourage our children to believe in mystical imaginary characters, how does it mold them? Has anyone done a study on this? It happens when a child is very vulnerable, believes everything you tell them and knows that you would never deceive them.
I'm not sure, but there should be a study.
I am not saying it's a bad thing, but it must have some impact.
I'm sure it does, and it could be positive. A child learns to use imagination, for example. I once read that a kid at the age of 4 or so will not be entertained by a magician, because they already see the world as magic. As a matter of fact, they discovered that children this age were more vulnerable to being hit by cars precisely because their parents taught them to look both ways before crossing the street. There were incidents of children who were seen to look to the right and to the left and then step out into the street in front of a car. They weren't looking to see if a car was coming. They thought that looking both ways magically prevented them from getting hurt. In a year or two, they will no longer automatically think that way.
Also, a kindergarten teacher can tell which children have been read to and which have not. A child who has been told stories/read to will anticipate what happens next and think of the possibilities and maybe even jump ahead and continue the story on his or her own. A child who has not had his imagination stretched in this way by that age just listens to the story.
It's a matter of intent. I doubt any parent on the planet (though I could be wrong, there's all kinds) tells their child about Santa while inwardly cackling in evil glee because they are pulling over a big lie on their child. The point is to entertain the child and see them develop that sense of wonder and imagination.
Parents teaching their children about religion is a differently thing entirely. Many parents want their children to tap into and develop their spiritual side. Of course, too often we know of the horror stories that overly religious parenting has wrought upon children.
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