I need to comment on this MN Nice=fake thing (friendly, health)

[Cleverfield]

Originally Posted by moving123456

I don't think those traits could be separated. If we start getting in each others faces, yelling, and wanting to fight every time we are pissed off, we might not be so nice when it comes to people crossing the street, not honking at lights, four way stops, offering jump starts, clearing snow from each others driveways, etc.

I didn't say you should get in each others' faces, that would be annoying, just don't be fake. If someone pisses you off you could say, "you know that really bothered me," rather than just being passive/ passive aggressive about it and then venting about the person after they're gone. That's even more annoying than getting in someone's face.

[moving123456]

Originally Posted by Cleverfield

If someone pisses you off you could say, "you know that really bothered me," rather than just being passive/ passive aggressive about it and then venting about the person after they're gone.

Sounds like one of the things that gets East Coast/NY/NJ people classified/stereotyped as rude in my opinion.

[rcsteiner]

Originally Posted by Cleverfield

I didn't say you should get in each others' faces, that would be annoying, just don't be fake. If someone pisses you off you could say, "you know that really bothered me," rather than just being passive/ passive aggressive about it and then venting about the person after they're gone. That's even more annoying than getting in someone's face.

Not to me, it isn't. But I'm a Minnesotan at heart.

[Cleverfield]

Originally Posted by rcsteiner

Not to me, it isn't. But I'm a Minnesotan at heart.

Okay, but don't say Minnesotans aren't fake.

[1stpontiac]

Originally Posted by Cleverfield

Okay, but don't say Minnesotans aren't fake.

Okay, but don't say East Coasters aren't rude.

[Cleverfield]

Originally Posted by 1stpontiac

Okay, but don't say East Coasters aren't rude.

Never did, but the whole premise of this thread was that they're not fake. Anyway, I think Minnesota and East coast are two opposite ends of a spectrum, I prefer a happy medium, not too in your face and rude, but also willing to say what's on your mind, and not be fake.

[Ghengis]

Originally Posted by Cleverfield

Never did, but the whole premise of this thread was that they're not fake. Anyway, I think Minnesota and East coast are two opposite ends of a spectrum, I prefer a happy medium, not too in your face and rude, but also willing to say what's on your mind, and not be fake.

very well written post and you bring up good points

[Ghengis]

^sheesh...get a load that guy would ja

[Glenfield]

Originally Posted by Cleverfield

I didn't say you should get in each others' faces, that would be annoying, just don't be fake. If someone pisses you off you could say, "you know that really bothered me," rather than just being passive/ passive aggressive about it and then venting about the person after they're gone. That's even more annoying than getting in someone's face.

One of the most misused terms in these threads is passive aggressive. Passive aggression is a personality disorder characterized by the DSM as

A pervasive pattern of negativistic attitudes and passive resistance to demands for adequate performance, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four (or more) of the following:
passively resists fulfilling routine social and occupational tasks
complains of being misunderstood and unappreciated by others
is sullen and argumentative
unreasonably criticizes and scorns authority
expresses envy and resentment toward those apparently more fortunate
voices exaggerated and persistent complaints of personal misfortune
alternates between hostile defiance and contrition

It has absolutely nothing to do with the reserved personalities of those of us who are often accused here of being "fake" simply for trying to be polite to strangers.

[Cleverfield]

Originally Posted by Glenfield

One of the most misused terms in these threads is passive aggressive. Passive aggression is a personality disorder characterized by the DSM as

A pervasive pattern of negativistic attitudes and passive resistance to demands for adequate performance, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four (or more) of the following:
passively resists fulfilling routine social and occupational tasks
complains of being misunderstood and unappreciated by others
is sullen and argumentative
unreasonably criticizes and scorns authority
expresses envy and resentment toward those apparently more fortunate
voices exaggerated and persistent complaints of personal misfortune
alternates between hostile defiance and contrition

It has absolutely nothing to do with the reserved personalities of those of us who are often accused here of being "fake" simply for trying to be polite to strangers.

There's a difference between passive aggressiveness, and passive aggressive personality disorder. Passive aggressiveness is a way of interacting with people where instead of confronting someone directly, one makes subtle indirect negative remarks that are not related to why the person is actually upset, and denies that anything is actually wrong. That is very different from PAPD, which is a psychological disorder that describes people with extreme and pervasive passive aggressive tendencies to the point that it's almost anti-social.