Why do people kick you when you're down? (abuse, neighborhood, mother)
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They do it to give themselves a moment of power. People are addicted to power and feeling powerful. When you show weakness, its a chance to make themselves feel powerful.
Its sadly how the world operates - most people are sizing you up, on how much you earn, relationships, success, looks, intelligence - and you can be guaranteed there is someone out there who begrudges you the life, happiness, success you have even if its not that much in your opinion - its incredible just how jealous, competitive, bitter, two faced people are underneath their outward fascade.
- but to express there thoughts at any other time will been rightly seen as jealously, nastiness and bitterness, but the moment your down is the opportunity they have been waiting for perhaps years of their life to confirm the true opinion of you. Even people you thought liked you. So don't show them your hurting at any point.
Never underestimate just how cynical and calculating people are.
Never underestimate just how cynical and calculating people are.
This is pretty much my take on humanity at this point. I try to never rely on anyone for anything, and I try to always adjust my expectations to zero, i.e. expect people to always act 100% on their own self-interest and don't expect any favors from them.
That way, on the rare occasions that people do kind things, I am pleasantly surprised and touched. And I reciprocate.
I have my own theories, but I'd like to hear yours. When I got divorced, it was my sister who kicked me when I was down. We haven't spoken in 15 years or so unless it was for her to scream at me. When my dad died, the two closest people to me were both cruel to me both during his dying and when he died. And someone I really cared for just blew off an email when I told him my dad died, even though he'd always responded to me before.
So, why are people like this? It hasn't happened only to me, rather I've seen it happen to others too. What gives?
They establish pecking order in this manner. Humans without conscience are not so different than animals.
I'll be honest - I haven't seen this behavior very frequently. When I've gone through rough times or seen other people go through rough times, in most cases, people have been supportive. There of course are exceptions, but it doesn't seem to be the rule.
Sometimes when we're down, we make it a little too much about ourselves. We refuse to listen to advice that we don't want to hear, and we get upset when somebody dares not to make us the center of attention, because our problem is that big. I've been guilty of it, and I'm sure just about everyone here has been too. People will sometimes call us out on our behavior, and it will seem like "kicking you when you're down." But it's not - they're trying to help.
I think sometimes we need to take a step back and see what's really going on before making drastic decisions to stop being friends with someone or disowning family members. Neither party may realize what they're doing.
But if someone is going through rough times shouldn't family and friends be the ones to back off and simply be patient and sensitive? The mentality that you can "call someone out on their behaviors" is a two way street ... but if someone is going through tough times it's more of a time of extra patience and understanding rather than "let's examine your mistakes."
Quote:
Originally Posted by cbmsu01
Sometimes when we're down, we make it a little too much about ourselves. We refuse to listen to advice that we don't want to hear, and we get upset when somebody dares not to make us the center of attention, because our problem is that big. I've been guilty of it, and I'm sure just about everyone here has been too. People will sometimes call us out on our behavior, and it will seem like "kicking you when you're down." But it's not - they're trying to help.
I think sometimes we need to take a step back and see what's really going on before making drastic decisions to stop being friends with someone or disowning family members. Neither party may realize what they're doing.
I have noticed that people always turn on you eventually - no matter how nice they seem - Just below the surface their nasty side is waiting to come out.
Have noticed when people can't find a weakness in you they hate you, always waiting for an opportunity - This can be applied to everyone, even those close to you.
that's funny but it true ---- even a song that about why we only believe in jesus when we dying or in trouble....... einstein was smarter than me and he believe in him that good enough for me...... plus i feel him .... in my joy ......
don't let people get you down..... its partly cause we love being miserable together....... hey my sister did not even invite me to her wedding and am her closer brother....... cause she marrying touchy feely guy, i don't care
well i won't let that keep me down ...... am sorry for when you get kick and your down .......it been happening a lot lately or was the human creature alway like that ... and are we documented it more now.................
We also have a Blame the Victim mentality -If something bad happens you then its your fault, and your fault alone.
Was there not that book the Secret, which said that people attracted bad things into their lives by thinking negative.
I think its best to accept the reality of modern life, its very competitive, and to some degree don't want you to be successful
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