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Ok. I can see how a woman her age could easily be scared of what tommorrow brings. I should take that more into account.
As a side note, she was paying about 80% of the bills from the situation she left. The funny part is, is that she was working as a bagger at a grocery store. So maybe she just wants some relaxation now. So do I...
So...it's not that she "won't" work, because she has. That's good!
She wants something more suitable for a woman her age, which I can understand (standing at a grocery checkout all day IS hard on a body).
What I would do is let her know you are on her side, and do understand why she'd rather have another kind of job. Empathize with her.
Then work to get her to empathize with the position you and your husband are in.
The two of you together need to spell it out for her clearly - that you are already cleaning toilets to make ends meet yourself.
That as much as you feel for her, you just can't financially support her.
Don't get angry or frustrated with her, just tell her you can't do what you can't do.
Then again offer sympathy that she's in a tight spot and that you will do all you can to support her emotionally.
There is no need for the next job to be permanent for her, and quite frankly,unless she has recent office experience, her odds of starting out at 61 in office work are poor. Now you may want to do what you can for her IF she takes a survival job for now, and offer to help her explore taking some community college software programs. The public ones often make tuition for those her age either nothing or severely discounted from regular tuition rates.
There is no need for the next job to be permanent for her, and quite frankly,unless she has recent office experience, her odds of starting out at 61 in office work are poor. Now you may want to do what you can for her IF she takes a survival job for now, and offer to help her explore taking some community college software programs. The public ones often make tuition for those her age either nothing or severely discounted from regular tuition rates.
She worked an office job about 3 years ago, then she got reduced hrs so she chose unemployment. That dried up after 2 years. And lo and behold, out of desperation she started working at the grocery store. This type of situation is not foreign to her.
We will do what we can.
I never thought about the school route, but still how long is schooling? How can she do that w/o working? By the time she gets out, wouldn't it be harder for someone her age to get a job in the exact field she went bk to school in the first place?
Seeing her age, I think the best option is to straight up work for someone else, or start your own business doing contract, outsourced office wk or a number of other things. But having your own business takes dedication, and I'm not sure she is the type to constantly market herself. I dunno.
I'm not talking school for a degree, but rather taking a few strategic software courses at a community college (the next level of EXCEL, ACCESS, and/or Powerpoint),as it would enable her to move education up on her resume, and prospective employers like CURRENT education. It shows a good sense of motivation.
This should be done in ADDITIOn to work. Community colleges as of a few years ago had more night students than day. Night students usually work during the day; day students are the full time kids.
Or can she start her own business? A web based business or some other home business?
Maybe you can employ her in your business?
She's applied at a temp agency but no response.
We don't live in the same area. And I'm not doing the employee thing. You still need moola to offer someone else work, when you are trying to keep enough work for yourself.
I need to know where I should draw the line. My husband's mother left her hometown to leave a bad relationship with her husband (hubby's father). Long story short: moved in with one of her children and their spouse. It's been a few months now. Hubby's mother around 60y.o., SAYS she wants a divorce but says no money to get it. Only has about $5000 in bank and expects everyone to pay her bills while she finds the perfect office job. She's in good health. I offered to get her an interview at a high class retail store, just so she can make some money to help with all her bills. She refuses, saying she wants better for herself. I doubt she will find something especially considering the job market and her age. Would you guys help her out financially (with her past due bills, health ins., life ins. etc.)? I don't want to b/c I think it's selfish of her to refuse to get some sort of work while we foot her bills. We have a little extra at the end of the month, but I am trying to save and build towards our future. Why do some people profess they can't find a job, yet aren't willing to eat a piece of humble pie to better their lot in life and get any type of respectable work whether it's scrubbing floors (which is what I do)?
I'm always interested in when young to middle aged adults have to help and/or support their parent(s) who may be in a rut or struggling in life. I've seen a lot of this in the past few years when I hadn't seen much of it earlier in life.
Personally, I'll never have to give my parents a dime. They're set and even if they weren't, my sister is quite wealthy.
I sympathize and realize my good fortune at being able to allocate my efforts and funds for ME. In turn, I'm taking the steps to make sure my children (if I have any), and sister will never have to support me ... that through diligence and saving, I'll likely have enough to always support myself.
That said, I'd definitely help my parents if they needed it and my parents in law too.
I'm always interested in when young to middle aged adults have to help and/or support their parent(s) who may be in a rut or struggling in life. I've seen a lot of this in the past few years when I hadn't seen much of it earlier in life.
Personally, I'll never have to give my parents a dime. They're set and even if they weren't, my sister is quite wealthy.
I sympathize and realize my good fortune at being able to allocate my efforts and funds for ME. In turn, I'm taking the steps to make sure my children (if I have any), and sister will never have to support me ... that through diligence and saving, I'll likely have enough to always support myself.
That said, I'd definitely help my parents if they needed it and my parents in law too.
I'm not sure if most are getting my complaint straight. I'm not talking about helping a family member out when they need it. But I asked about financially supporting a family member who is extremely particular about where they will work , when it is highly unlikely they will even find such a job. They basically want support while they take their time looking for what they want (a dream job), when they are not in a position to do so. That luxury is for people who already have money in my opinion.
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