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I'm not the typical Southern woman by a long shot. I'm actually quite eccentric. I was born and raised in Georgia and have never left this area to live elsewhere, I do have a few cousins living in the Midwest, but I act nothing like the "typical" SOuthern woman.
Women in the South (generally) are bred to get married early and have their families. I recently got married (April) at a later age than most women down here (34). I have always been a free spirit and wondered if marriage was a good idea for me. I am not traditional, I am not family oriented like most women down here and like the idea of a nontraditional marriage.
I am childless by choice (which some Southerners would say is a grave sin, because you;re supposed to "be fruitful and multiply" which I say is taken out of context most of the time) and prefer animals. Right now I have 2 dogs (both are DHs but he told me that the small Chiweenie is mine) a 2 month old kitten, 2 Chinese dwarf hamsters, a Betta fish, some Danio fish, an African dwarf frog, and a hermit crab.
Im also New Age-y. I have never cared for the Christian conservative culture around here. The closest I have found to home is Virginia Beach which houses the ARE center founded by Edgar Cayce but that is a different story. Im mostly interested in Eastern religions. ie Buddhism.
Lastly I am a feminist and old school feminist like the movement that stated that women should pursue careers. I am totally that way. I think women need to focus on careers. I think careers csn be extremely fulfilling. I also think women should stop thinking they can have it all. If they want to be mothers, then fine. If they want to be career women, great too. But I think they need to focus on on ething because you don't get everything you want all at one time.
Generally in the South men get the door for women and my Dh does so but I kind of like the idea of getting my own door being a feminist and all.
In the past I've been told my personality is somewhat brusque. I think I have toned it down quite a bit, but am far from being your typical Southern belle. So what do I like about the South? The food is great and the architecture...but the culture I could do without. And the fact that we have two temperatires, hot and hotter.
I think you worry too much about what people think of you and I have been that way as well (very obsessive of worrying about what others think). As you know, most everyone wants to fit in for the most part, it's part of human nature. You may not fit in the South, but who knows, maybe not elsewhere I live in Georgia and know what you are talking about, some traditional southern women are similar to what to what you describe.
The more you accept your own differences from that of other women, or whoever, the more you are comfortable with yourself. Sometimes it is easier said than done. I relate to some of what you are saying, but also, try to accept the differences and don't let what some of these people say or do bother you. Think of how unique you are and your own great attributes. Carry peace within yourself best you can in spite of these outward differences. Lastly, good luck with your marriage.
docile and very submissive women are everywhere.......usually they are divorced with 3 kids from three dads, on food stamps and looking for a sugardaddy....
This sounds like almost all of my neighbors. I can't even relate to women my own age. All they do is moan how terrible their life is between kids they can't care for and crazy men threatening them. Its hard not to just blurt out to them "then why don't you stop having sex with every guy in town & why don't you stop making babies if you can't feed them?". Guys can't control you and make your life miserable if you don't let them. Babies don't just appear out of thin air. Trying saying "no" for a change!
Having grown up in South, moved and came back yes have to agree most, not all, Southern women over the age of say 35, are very docile and submissive. If you didn't get married at 18 and pop out some kids you are considered a freak at least in the rural areas where I live. (I still recall being 19 and teaching martial arts at this school and little kids asking me what was wrong with me and why I wasn't married and had kids yet. At 19!!!) I have yet to meet one other woman here my age without kids and at least one marriage in this area though in other states I've lived I knew plenty childless women who were even older. I think its the religion keeps most women submissive. One thing comes to mind is how Tennessee has twice been named the state with the highest domestic abuse rates against women, which I do see and hear a lot of so I can't dispute it, and I think a lot of naive country girls do get the crap knocked out of them till they become very submissive because of low self esteem. Guys are startled here to see me do anything independent-like such as I was told by a young man recently I was a "weirdo" because I am the only woman who works out at this rural gym and I fish alone and am a WOMAN. God forbid a woman be able to bait a hook on her own. I also get raised eyebrows from the neighbors for doing the simplest routine car maintenance. It is considered wrong if you are a woman in a rural town and do these things because girls are suppose to be stupid and unable to do anything but keep up the house, make babies and worry over their hair and nails. I don't mind doors being held open for me because that's better than the young guys that now slam them shut in your face lol and I try to hold doors open for others, both men and women, when I can. I love the courtesy of the older generation in some of the small towns where everyone is polite and will stop and talk to you, but I do hate being treated as a freak because I'm not a dumb broad.
Id like to know what rural town of TN you live in. The closest "town" to me has a population of, well its so small it dosent have its own census population. The entire county has a population less than 50,000. Ive lived here 35 years. And I just dont see what you describe. I dont believe southern women are anymore docile and subservient, abused, married or dependant than they are anywhere else. Maybe its just who you keep company with. The women I know are pretty tough. Many live alone and do their own maintenance, they fish, hunt, go 4-wheeling, ride horses, motorcycles, camp, canoe, work out etc.
Guys are startled here to see me do anything independent-like such as I was told by a young man recently I was a "weirdo" because I am the only woman who works out at this rural gym and I fish alone and am a WOMAN. God forbid a woman be able to bait a hook on her own. I also get raised eyebrows from the neighbors for doing the simplest routine car maintenance.
I don't know where you live but I have lived all over the south and and in several places you would be considered a "catch" if can bait your own hook and change your own oil.
I'm not the typical Southern woman by a long shot. I'm actually quite eccentric. I was born and raised in Georgia and have never left this area to live elsewhere, I do have a few cousins living in the Midwest, but I act nothing like the "typical" SOuthern woman.
Women in the South (generally) are bred to get married early and have their families. I recently got married (April) at a later age than most women down here (34). I have always been a free spirit and wondered if marriage was a good idea for me. I am not traditional, I am not family oriented like most women down here and like the idea of a nontraditional marriage.
I am childless by choice (which some Southerners would say is a grave sin, because you;re supposed to "be fruitful and multiply" which I say is taken out of context most of the time) and prefer animals. Right now I have 2 dogs (both are DHs but he told me that the small Chiweenie is mine) a 2 month old kitten, 2 Chinese dwarf hamsters, a Betta fish, some Danio fish, an African dwarf frog, and a hermit crab.
Im also New Age-y. I have never cared for the Christian conservative culture around here. The closest I have found to home is Virginia Beach which houses the ARE center founded by Edgar Cayce but that is a different story. Im mostly interested in Eastern religions. ie Buddhism.
Lastly I am a feminist and old school feminist like the movement that stated that women should pursue careers. I am totally that way. I think women need to focus on careers. I think careers csn be extremely fulfilling. I also think women should stop thinking they can have it all. If they want to be mothers, then fine. If they want to be career women, great too. But I think they need to focus on on ething because you don't get everything you want all at one time.
Generally in the South men get the door for women and my Dh does so but I kind of like the idea of getting my own door being a feminist and all.
In the past I've been told my personality is somewhat brusque. I think I have toned it down quite a bit, but am far from being your typical Southern belle. So what do I like about the South? The food is great and the architecture...but the culture I could do without. And the fact that we have two temperatires, hot and hotter.
Hi. I found your post rather interesting. Im a northerner Male who moved to the Florida Panhandle 3 years ago . I find living in the deep south very refreshing , the people far more approachable , the women far more relaxed but a tad less sophisticated , Businesspeople very unprofessional and horrific to deal with, and the Christian culture with strong values, principles, and morals for maximized civil living...a welcomed delight. The outdoor temps and humidity im finally getting used to during summer months , the fried food i never was into even up north because its unhealthy, and the ease of making new friends superior to up north. I personally like the southern women including their kindness, generousity, and hospitality being a Divorced Man in his 50's with no children .
I wonder how you being a proclaimed Feminist would do in a marriage but maybe its too early to tell since you just got married (?) . My personal experience with true Feminists are that they are of the cantankerous type , extremely strong willed, intolerant for the most part, and have a general disdain toward men in general --- I trust that is not you since such a person would put undue pressure and challenges in a harmonious marriage .
Southern women can be phoney, passive-aggressive and very concerned with maintaining appearances, depending on which segment of Southern society they belong to. Ones that are more middle-class are less so.
I generally do no see a match up between a Westerner or a Northeastern and a Southern woman as a good thing. They do better with Midwesterners and other Southerners. That's my observation. I feel like I can't be myself around them. Like I have to turn on the decorum a few notches higher than I'm accustomed to.
Southern women can be phoney, passive-aggressive and very concerned with maintaining appearances, depending on which segment of Southern society they belong to. Ones that are more middle-class are less so.
I generally do no see a match up between a Westerner or a Northeastern and a Southern woman as a good thing. They do better with Midwesterners and other Southerners. That's my observation. I feel like I can't be myself around them. Like I have to turn on the decorum a few notches higher than I'm accustomed to.
I find your first paragraph kind of general to most women ive encountered everywhere . Maybe its just part of human nature as ive seen it in men too. I like the relaxed and unpretentiousness which i personally have found in southern women , but i conclude they are not as principled as northern gals in general...again, just my personal experience and perhaps not objectively true.
I don't know where you live but I have lived all over the south and and in several places you would be considered a "catch" if can bait your own hook and change your own oil.
I'll take that as a compliment. I won't post my town cuz its so dang small I would be recognizable. I ain't from here, mind you. I grew up in another county in the mountains where girls all fished, the whole family fished and hunted. I mean as soon as I was able to stand up on my own a fishing rod was put in my hand. My dad was a race car driver before I was born then an airplane mechanic so I learned self sufficiency pretty early. I even helped dad rewire the house and a rebuild an antique truck in college. Come to think of it I now remember painting my parent's house during junior high. I lived most of my adult life out of state where women did anything they wanted, moved back to the South and in this strange little town I am considered a freak apparently as the guys at the small gym I just joined here tell me I'm a weirdo all the time. The next breathe they will make fun of "fat women" yet here they are also making fun of a woman trying to stay fit. Well I do have an older guy chasing me at the moment, because I fish, as we met at a friend's pizza party, but I'm not in the market for a husband. I would fish with him, but I think in this situation it would lead him on as he is looking for a wife and mother for his daughter.
I generally do no see a match up between a Westerner or a Northeastern and a Southern woman as a good thing. They do better with Midwesterners and other Southerners. That's my observation. I feel like I can't be myself around them. Like I have to turn on the decorum a few notches higher than I'm accustomed to.
I totally agree with your observation. Its a funny thing though my best male friend is a Yankee. He gets on my last nerve, but still we have been close friends for several years now and talk daily. I don't recall having any Midwest friends either male or female to have any opinion on capability. Maybe one will move into town if I'm lucky.
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I live in Georgia and know what you are talking about, some traditional southern women are similar to what to what you describe.
