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I've cut very few out of my life, but there are a few:
1) People with whom there's absolutely no emotional reward. These are people who take and take and take some more, and never give in return. Mind you, I don't think relationships should be transactions, but c'mon. I had lots of friend whom I helped out, lent an ear, helped them move, got them through breakups with girlfriends, let them sleep on my sofa and lent them money when they lost a job. And when my father died and most of them could be bothered to come to the funeral, I realized what total losers they were. With the exception of the two who came, I wrote off the rest and made an entirely different bunch of friends.
2) Abusive people. I have a steel rod for a backbone, and I will not tolerate a bully whether his target is me or someone else.
3) People who are dishonest. If someone lies about the little things, they will lie about the important things.
4) People who are inconsiderate. I show up on time. I remember my promises. And I try to think of others. I have little use for people who don't time after time.
A friend I lost was someone I had known as kids since the mid or late 80s and he was pretty much my best friend growing up as teenagers in the 90s. After high school though he headed to college out of town, got a girlfriend, and we started to grow apart. I would still see him sporadically, and we were still close enough that he invited me to his Vegas bachelor party followed by his first wedding in 2004. This was followed by some more gatherings, including a new year's eve where I drank a little too much embarrassing myself. I was immature then and I realize that. After that I did not see him again for a few years. Two years ago a mutual friend organized a small get together where I saw him again and for the last time. I guess I did not make a good enough impression, since I have not seen or heard from him at all since then.
While this went on he also converted and became a devout Christian, now mainly hanging out with his other circle of Christian friends. I know his roommate in college was a devout Christian. On the other hand I dropped religion and pretty much became an agnostic. I think these changes made it harder for us to relate to each other. And I saw on facebook how he recently remarried, and saw a photo of the friends from high school who he stayed in touch with and did invite to his wedding. Obviously I did not receive an invitation, which essentially confirmed our friendship having more or less died. It is a little sad, since we go back so long and we had known each other so well. But such is life, and I never know when I may run into him again.
When they got married or had their first child. A few tried to contact me years later but I wanted nothing to do with them. I guess I have been cut out of as many peoples lives as I have cut people out of mine. I have been cut out because of their wives thinking married people should only associate with married people. I cut people out because of their actions.
My brother: He knows I don't approve of his lifestyle choices (get with a woman, get her pregnant, have a kid, then leave them x3). We don't hate each other, and I bet he'd respond if i sent him a text. We see each other occasionally every few years and talk about the weather, but we don't have anything else to say and no desire to fake it.
A childhood friend, I can't remember the name of. I called her mom something really bad when she gave us some vulgar sexual advice at 11 years old..but it was all true.
My boyfriend just cut me out of his life. I know he loves me. He is just going though so much right now. A lot of stress. His parents were toxic. Step father abused him, mother never was a mother. He learned to turn his feelings off.nor at least that is what he said. I don't know how you can do that. When he was with me he told me everything. He opened up to me like he never had before. He told me constantly how he was happy now that I was not his life.happier that he had ever been. What can I do? He called after we had a "fight" that he picked over a basketball game of all things. Told me we needed to take some time. That now he saw that we didn't see eye to eye he wasn't sure. Over a basket ball game. So I have gave him a week but my heart is breaking. What can I do?
i have cut people out and vice versa. it's just a normal part of life. it happens to all of us at some point if we live long enough. no fault...or maybe there was. maybe we were terrible or of no use anymore and vice versa. it's that simple.
I had a friend who had dropped me.. (I'm single, she was married and met when we had worked together, a few years prior). We lived a bit of a distance apart, but she was always communicative and had sent cards and would have phone conversations, occasionally.
I've never figured this out...but it was after I had a cat pass away. I had a cat previously pass on beforehand, due to illness and had him put to sleep. (These were some of the most difficult events of my life). We had conversed over the first one and she had sent me a card.
A few years later, when another pet had become ill for a different reason than the other, she seemed to decline speaking to me, after leaving her a message. I mean, I've wracked my brain.. wondering if she judged me for my cat becoming ill... I don't know. I already felt so badly, then, after leaving her a second message and never hearing from her, I had to just let it go, but it truly bothered me.
I don't know.. I think it is human nature that this occurs. I am a very sensitive and communicative person, but don't mind time alone, either. Unfortunately, sometimes certain aspects can get in the way and can be complex.
There are a couple of older friends whom I allowed myself to drift away from.. and really, I'm not sure who let go first. I don't know if there was any misunderstanding .. there was no fight or anything obvious, but we both "let go", apparently. Partly, I feel that due to my own circumstances, that I have placed distance. (I do think about contacting both of these friends to clear things up).
A woman I became friends with when a neighbor was seemingly a "fair weather" friend. She would not be in touch at times and I would feel maybe she "tolerated me". Then just before leaving the area, had me come and help her with some stuff and not long after moving, she contacted me by mail, I contacted her by phone and afterward.. nothing. I don't really care, since she may have just been self-serving. Again.. we never know.
Someone else though, is an older friend who, when having moved away some time ago and had married someone who I hadn't cared much for, has sent me a card or letter at times and I feel badly, since I have not remained in touch. It's not her...
Another woman I got to know in the past 20 years had joined a religion, found a guy within, married and shortly after, were on the rocks. We really dropped off.. but I have wondered about her, because I liked her when she was single and not spouting religion. For all I know, she felt badly about her own situation.
There have been friends from High School who I just hadn't felt I had much to share with later on. I am not someone who will necessarily maintain long-distance friendships, just because we were once friends when young (I know some do this even if there is nothing in common, besides having been in the same school or neighborhood.. I detest "FB", for instance).
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