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Older people without children (and older people with children, really) should have their financial ducks in a row and a plan for retirement, illness, and the related legal issues.
Yes I agree 100%.
Quote:
Like people have said, having children doesn't guarantee you caretakers for your dotage, and there's no reason that your support system has to be blood relatives.
I didn't mean to imply so much that children should be caretakers...what I really meant was that being completely alone and isolated in one's elder years could drastically decrease a person's quality of life, realistically speaking.
Also, the larger caretaker issue aside, what happens if an elderly person were to fall down or collapse in their place of residence, and while needing urgent interventional medical care, not be able to reach a telephone? If that person has no one else involved in their lives, it could be days (months? longer?) before anyone potentially finds them?
Suppose hypothetically though that if a person had no one else (i.e., no meaningful extended family, and their own parents and/or siblings deceased), in their lives at all? That must be a pretty solitary and very lonely existence...
But why the assumption that the only social output one gets is through family? If an older person is involved in their community, their church, has a variety of hobbies, etc, they're going to have many friends and a wide network of support.
I have a question I was hoping that I could please inquire about, for all of the child-free folks out there: is getting older or being in your elder years while having no children (and/or no spouse, depending on if you want to be Double-Income, No Kids, vs. never marrying at all for instance) a concern at all for you?
The main reason I ask is because it goes to the issue of potentially having no meaningful social or support network, in the later years of one's life. It also limits your available of people to take care of you, for example if you become injured, sick, or need to be hospitalized, for example. Even if you have a CF spouse but s/he passes away before you, later in life (and also same thing with friends pasing away, as well), without any having children, a person could potentially be like 75-80 years old, but have no one meaningful left, in their lives who really cares about them?
Any thoughts please? How do you deal with and are able to successfully manage these kinds of concerns? Thank you in advance for your comments!
I contribute to my 401K and build my assets. I joke that I cultivate relationships with my cousin's kids so someone will be there to change my diapers when I'm decrepit, but that's not really an expectation on my part, just a joke.
I have A LOT of friends, and I've had no problem developing a support network. My father (he is 82) just saw his high school math teacher die at 99 - the man had no children and his wife passed a decade ago. He was rarely alone - he'd spent his life cultivating friendships and building relationships with people.
I also live 2,000 miles away from my parents. They are divorced and do just fine without me at their ages (mom is 66).
Look, if someone has kids primarily because they're afraid of being alone in their old age, well, that's a pretty effed-up and selfish reason.
I'm far from being that age but I have a 61 year old single uncle who has never been married. He's rather well off and has saved plenty of money to be used in case he gets disabled or needs care. No one knows who will be responsible for that money though.
Just wondering, when your uncle gets older (say 80-90, for example), does he have a long-term care policy, and is he planning to pay for a dedicated or paid medical professional to see to his medical needs, such as a home-health aide nurse to assist him at his residence?
All the money in the world can't help a person, if s/he has a medical emergency, but is unable to obtain the needed medical care in time. Having more people actively involved in a person's life when they are in their late elder years increases the likelihood that something potentially tragic like this will not occur. Ergo children, in the event that a person's spouse pre-deceases them.
But why the assumption that the only social output one gets is through family? If an older person is involved in their community, their church, has a variety of hobbies, etc, they're going to have many friends and a wide network of support.
True, but being involved in one's community is no guarantee that the person will actually be accepted, by said community. A person could still actively and potentially do all of the things you had suggested above, and still not be able to make any friends, also through no fault of his or her own. Churches can be cold and rejecting and cruel. Meeting up for likeminded hobbies is no automatic indication that the people you will be meeting up with will like you.
Also, I sincerely doubt that any of the friends I have made in life, past or present, would even care about me enough like that in the event I had a medical emergency. I have had maybe 2 very, very close friends so far in life (IRL), and neither one of them talk to me anymore, not because of anything I did to offend them, but simply b/c they didn't care enough to keep in touch anymore. Relying on friends is thus a serious potential gamble, IMO...
Last edited by Phoenix2017; 06-10-2013 at 12:12 PM..
Reason: Corrections
I also hope to have nephews and nieces one day and to get along with them. However, rule number 1 is: take care of everything like you can never count on anyone. It's the safest option.
That also assumes though that the nieces and nephews will want to associate with you, and that it is even a viable option. For instance, what if you don't have any siblings (and thus no potential for nieces or nephews, to begin with?)
Look, if someone has kids primarily because they're afraid of being alone in their old age, well, that's a pretty effed-up and selfish reason.
I agree. And there are a lot of people in the world who have miserable lives because they were born as a mistake, or for the selfish reasons you mentioned. Don't do that to another human being...
I contribute to my 401K and build my assets. I joke that I cultivate relationships with my cousin's kids so someone will be there to change my diapers when I'm decrepit, but that's not really an expectation on my part, just a joke.
I have A LOT of friends, and I've had no problem developing a support network. My father (he is 82) just saw his high school math teacher die at 99 - the man had no children and his wife passed a decade ago. He was rarely alone - he'd spent his life cultivating friendships and building relationships with people.
I also live 2,000 miles away from my parents. They are divorced and do just fine without me at their ages (mom is 66).
Look, if someone has kids primarily because they're afraid of being alone in their old age, well, that's a pretty effed-up and selfish reason.
Please understand, I'm definitely not trying to insult you or be snarky here, but what makes you think that if you had medical crisis, that your friends would actually stand by you, and not desert you instead though? I have personally experienced this (medical crisis when I was younger, and the people who I thought were my friends were literally gone in the blink of an eye...I never heard from 99% of them, ever again, as they simply they didn't care).
Please understand, I'm definitely not trying to insult you or be snarky here, but what makes you think that if you had medical crisis, that your friends would actually stand by you, and not desert you instead though? I have personally experienced this (medical crisis when I was younger, and the people who I thought were my friends were literally gone in the blink of an eye...I never heard from 99% of them, ever again, as they simply they didn't care).
Those people weren't your friends. I'm an introvert and I tend to keep to myself, but offhand I've got at least a half-dozen people who I can count on to take me to the airport or who I could call in the middle of the night if my car broke down. You have to cultivate friendships, but they're worth it.
Just wondering, when your uncle gets older (say 80-90, for example), does he have a long-term care policy, and is he planning to pay for a dedicated or paid medical professional to see to his medical needs, such as a home-health aide nurse to assist him at his residence?
All the money in the world can't help a person, if s/he has a medical emergency, but is unable to obtain the needed medical care in time. Having more people actively involved in a person's life when they are in their late elder years increases the likelihood that something potentially tragic like this will not occur. Ergo children, in the event that a person's spouse pre-deceases them.
I think he has a long term care policy. He always says nobody will have to spend a cent on him when he's old. Well, he lives on his own so he has to deal with his circumstances. If something happens, it happens. I actually live close to him and I've always told him he can call me anytime if something happens. I can be there in a few minutes.
He's not the type of person that would ever leave his house to go a care home, so I suppose he would pay someone to take care of him in case of need.
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That must be a pretty solitary and very lonely existence...
