Should the wealthy family members help support poor working class brothers and sisters? (issues, mother)
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I think you should help them out! Why not? Although they haven't stumbled into the luck you have they do work 2-3 jobs to make ends meet. Since you are so blessed and would probably help someone it may as well be your family!
I have only one sibling, a sister who has built an incredibly successful business and takes home personally about $2.1 Million per year and a net worth of over $15Million. I know because she makes a point of showing me their bank account and tax returns. They live an incredible life and are always traveling, vacationing, buying new $100K cars, $50,000 watches, spending $300K on a timeshare, $450k on an RV, you name it.. It's hard not to be jealous. They constantly invite my parents, his parents, and his sister and son on trips and cruises, etc and pay for them.. My daughters and I never so much as get invited. We've visited her and her family 3-4 times a year for the past 20 years. She has never visited my family once in past 15 years, never seen where my kids and I live or have lived, and only visited me personally three times my whole life. She and her husband have told me they put aside $500K for his sisters only son (he's 8) for his college and future, and bought a home and car for his sister. Why does she even mention this knowing she never did anything for me or my kids? I have two teen daughters, struggle going back to school, live on student loans, am a single father, and only asked her one time for help (to borrow $3,000 to help with purchase of a condo). She said no. They said they didn't feel comfortable either lending or gifting me money. I have never asked her for a dime since nor received a dime ever. And I've come to realize I will likely never see any assistance from her. I admit it gets hard seeing her live so well and do for other family members, but never even so much as visiting me or my family. I've just come to realize that she has very different priorities with her life and her money and those priorities don't involve me or my kids. I will never stop visiting her because I still value my relationship with her and want my daughters to always have a relationship with them and their cousins. My advice to you: accept that you live in a different universe than your siblings. They should not expect any money but try to treat them the same if you do want to help out of your own volition and they are all equally deserving or in need. Take it from me, a sibling with means turning a blind eye, exhibiting cruel favoritism, and otherwise engaging in benign neglect just plain hurts. It's your money, your right, but if I ever have the means I will never turn a blind eye to a family member in need.
I haven't read this thread, as it is now quite long. But my response to the question of the thread title is "it depends". If I were wealthy I don't believe I would help support siblings who were moochers and who were not making genuine efforts to support themselves, or who were addicted to drugs or alcohol. But I would step up to help those who had suffered from a serious illness or some other serious misfortune not of their own making.
I have only one sibling, a sister who has built an incredibly successful business and takes home personally about $2.1 Million per year and a net worth of over $15Million. I know because she makes a point of showing me their bank account and tax returns. They live an incredible life and are always traveling, vacationing, buying new $100K cars, $50,000 watches, spending $300K on a timeshare, $450k on an RV, you name it.. It's hard not to be jealous. They constantly invite my parents, his parents, and his sister and son on trips and cruises, etc and pay for them.. My daughters and I never so much as get invited. We've visited her and her family 3-4 times a year for the past 20 years. She has never visited my family once in past 15 years, never seen where my kids and I live or have lived, and only visited me personally three times my whole life. She and her husband have told me they put aside $500K for his sisters only son (he's 8) for his college and future, and bought a home and car for his sister. Why does she even mention this knowing she never did anything for me or my kids? I have two teen daughters, struggle going back to school, live on student loans, am a single father, and only asked her one time for help (to borrow $3,000 to help with purchase of a condo). She said no. They said they didn't feel comfortable either lending or gifting me money. I have never asked her for a dime since nor received a dime ever. And I've come to realize I will likely never see any assistance from her. I admit it gets hard seeing her live so well and do for other family members, but never even so much as visiting me or my family. I've just come to realize that she has very different priorities with her life and her money and those priorities don't involve me or my kids. I will never stop visiting her because I still value my relationship with her and want my daughters to always have a relationship with them and their cousins. My advice to you: accept that you live in a different universe than your siblings. They should not expect any money but try to treat them the same if you do want to help out of your own volition and they are all equally deserving or in need. Take it from me, a sibling with means turning a blind eye, exhibiting cruel favoritism, and otherwise engaging in benign neglect just plain hurts. It's your money, your right, but if I ever have the means I will never turn a blind eye to a family member in need.
Your sister sounds like a genuine a-hole who likes to intentionally hurt family.
Interesting replies so far but let me clarify my question:
My brothers and sisters think we should share out wealth and basically send them a supplemental income based on the fact that we are doing so well and they are not.
While we are not millionaires, should the hard working but working class low paid brother and sister live a life of struggle if their brother or sister was wealthy? Or should the wealthy sister help support financially their poor brothers and sisters because they are family? (I am not talking about a full support but if the working class brothers and sisters are working full time and just getting by, should the rich family member send them a regular check because they are family?)
If you found out one of Bill Gates's brothers or sisters were living near the poverty line but working full time, would you think less of Bill Gates?
I don't believe that DNA is a get out of jail free card. My husband and I are (finally) doing well financially, but I don't send money to my relatives, because I know all too well how fleeting money can be. Here today, gone tomorrow. I will not be down on my luck again if I can help it, and I don't have money to give to people who will only put their hands out again.
Your first obligation is to your husband....and his opinion is the only one that matters. What does he say about all this?
I don't understand why any siblings would ever just expect other family members to supplement their incomes or their lifestyles. If either of my brothers expected that just because we're related, honestly that would tick me off so much they'd NEVER get a penny from me! Thankfully, that concept has never reared it's head on either side of our family - mine or my husband's.
Of course, if there was a huge disparity in incomes and a niece or nephew needed funds for college, that would be a different story. I mean, I wouldn't EXPECT it and wouldn't give any money to anyone who thought we should just because we're family - but if I had nieces or nephews or grandkids whose parents truly couldn't afford to help them pay for college, and I could...I would, if they were good kids. But I don't think it's a mandatory obligation.
If you found out one of Bill Gates's brothers or sisters were living near the poverty line but working full time, would you think less of Bill Gates?
I would if he was doing what the President is ..... screeching about how the "wealthy" aren't paying their fair share and expecting them to support his deadbeat family members while he does nothing for them.
I have only one sibling, a sister who has built an incredibly successful business and takes home personally about $2.1 Million per year and a net worth of over $15Million. I know because she makes a point of showing me their bank account and tax returns.
Hope you have told sister you don't care to see it.
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It all depends, really.
Just sayin'...
