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A few men I grew up with and were friends with in the past have recently come out of the closet and are now openly gay. I know in theory my relationship with them should not change, but it has. I like many men are uncomfortable around openly gay men. In the past when I befriended gay coworkers people assumed I must be gay also. All the other straight men in the office kept a distance from the openly gay men. Women on the other hand seemed like they preferred the friendship with gay men over straight men.
How about Lesbians, do other women who are straight feel uncomfortable about being their friends?
I'm straight, but have always gotten along with gays and lesbians. I've had more gay friends, then lesbian ones. My parents had a few retail furniture stores and some of their employees were gay. Two of my close college friends came out of the closet after graduation. Two high school friends are now lesbians. I went to one's wedding three years ago. One of my best friends in the antique business is gay. When I was young, my sisters and I would go to gay clubs to go dancing. The best music and guys wouldn't be trying to pick us up!
As a woman who has a lot of male friends, gays are great because you know that they will never hit on you, plus they are fun to shop with. lol
I am friends with someone who is, and I don't care what their sexual orientation is. It's like the color of their hair to me, it's just part of the package. It doesn't change who they are or what I like about them.
If someone wants to assume my orientation based on my friends, so be it. There are far worse things in life.
I have both gay and lesbian friends and no, they don't make me uncomfortable. My lesbian friends know I am straight and that I am married with children. I don't think my "straightness" makes them any more uncomfortable being around me than their "gayness" makes me uncomfortable around them. I highly doubt that I am their "type" anyway! I'd rather have a bunch of friends, regardless of sexual orientation, age, race or religion, than to have a bunch of enemies.
One of my closest friends is a lesbian; we only met recently but we have a lot in common that made us fast friends. (I'm a woman, in case my moniker isn't readily obvious.)
I don't care if you like men, women, or both, so long as you're a decent human being. Gay doesn't make me uncomfortable; rude and ignorant make me uncomfortable. (Which is NOT to say that the OP is either...just stating what bothers me about daily interaction!)
Last edited by sedie80; 11-13-2007 at 11:07 AM..
Reason: clarification!
goodtype, you say, "I like many men are uncomfortable around openly gay men."
Why? Just curious about that statement. Why do homosexuals make you uncomfortable?
As a female, the only time I felt a bit uncomfortable around a lesbian was when she hit on me. I knew her through business contacts and she pulled up in her car beside me one evening when I was walking my dog and started chit-chatting about the dog, which segued into where I lived, whether I had a room-mate or a husband, etc. My neurons weren't registering or else my antennae were drooping but I did suddenly realize after giving all the WRONG answers, "No, not in a relationship, have been married but not now, live by myself, etc." that she was hitting on me for sure. I managed to gracefully extricate myself from a potentially embarrassing situation and she obviously "got it" too.
People are people are people and their sexual orientation, be it heterosexual or homosexual, has never been an issue in my life. If I continue to post on this forum I should maybe post some sort of byline like, "old fogey done almost everything!"
I am a straight married female who has a few gay friends and am fine with that. The only time I am uncomfortable around them is when we are walking around and they see a guy and it is automatically assumed they are gay. It always seems that gay men think the entire population of men are gay, which grates on my nerves because I know they aren't. As far as lesbians, I don't have any lesbian friends but am not sure if I'd like to have one...I would be totally uncomfortable if they hit on me so I'd rather not pursue that degree of uncomfortableness. I understand this doesn't sound all politically correct but oh well...like another poster stated, there are worse things in life to think about.
There has been studies of friendships of Gay and Lesbian people and they have shown that most of their same sex friendships share their sexual orientation.
Why am I uncomfortable around Gays ??, because society is, I wish I was more open, but I am not.
I'm gonna get a lot of crap for this, so before I open my mouth let me please remind you lovely CD Landers that you can't give someone a negative rep just because you don't like what they say.
*ahem*
Everyone is different, everyone grew up different, everyone is a victim or result of their environment per say. I don't have gay or lesbian friends. I feel uncomfortable around them, because, quite frankly, I don't agree with supporting a lifestyle that is gay or lesbian. It's against the Bible, and since I try to hold the Bible up as my moral founding for ethics and what not, I find it ... unacceptable. Do I go around preaching to people about how they are living in sin? no... everyone is in their own way. But I chose not to associate myself with them. I wouldn't feel comfortable around a gay or lesbian (and it has nothing to do with what kind of person they are, they could be a great person!) but it would be the same as standing next to a pedophile, or that guy in India that just legally married that dog (thanks John for the news update! lol) ... I see it as un-natural. If you see me as close minded for this, then perhaps you are just more "open minded" to the un-natural and slightly more perverse angle that the secular world tends to enhance.
Sometimes I wish I was living a good 50-60 years ago. Back when if you threw someone a "are you crazy" look for making out man-to man on the street, you weren't sued, you were supported.
"No penalty too great preceeding any man-made law, can can hold harsher than unacceptance unwritten by today's society."
You did ask for honesty.
Last edited by Marylandkitten; 11-13-2007 at 01:10 PM..
goodtype, you say, "I like many men are uncomfortable around openly gay men."
Why? Just curious about that statement. Why do homosexuals make you uncomfortable?
I just remembered a story about an old boyfriend and I going to a private party one Sunday night. And in order to get to this party room, we had to go through a dance club. Because it was Sunday night, it was gay night in the dance club. I knew the way through the club and was walking very fast to get to the party, and thus leaving my boyfriend a few feet behind me. Boy was he pissed at the other end! I guess that he felt uncomfortable seeming to be by myself in the gay crowd and wanted me to hold hands with him, indicating that he was straight and "taken". LOL!
Well, the gay men at these events loved to flirt, to put it mildly. Plus gay men love to joke about converting the cute straight guys to the
"dark side" or speculate about other men's sexuality. So I understand a straight man's possible discomfort in a gay crowd.
On the other hand, women are used to be ogled by men, both obviously and discretely. So then it's no big deal to be ogled by a lesbian imo.
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