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They ever say, "I forgive you." My response would be, "Well, I'm sorry you feel that way." See what I did there - you didn't say your sorry, you said you are sorry they feel that way. Make them own their words - don't you wear them.
Is your wife aware of how they feel and do you both have a sense of humor? The reason I ask is I would show up at EVERY family function and holiday dinner together and as often as possible. Where your relationship proudly and tick 'em off at the same time.
I'm at wits end. My relationship with both of my parents have been rocky since high school. Currently I do not speak to my father at all unless there's a real reason to do so (and if we do it's always fine, but we don't go out of our way to talk to each other and it's been about a year or so since I've spoken with him). I speak to my mother on the phone once every 2 weeks on average, and we'll just talk about life.
Honestly at this point I do not know how I should deal with this person that happened to have given birth to me.
Just stick to what you've been doing...twice monthly talks with your mom. She obviously can't see past the nose on her face, so there's probably not much you can do about it except to be happy with your wife and create a wonderful life of your own...it's such a shame that your parents can't be happy for you.....it shows that they have no faith in you to find happiness on your own...and now that you have, it shows a complete lack of respect for you and your chosen wife.
I side with purehuman. My parents also disapproved of my husband when we were first married. They refused to come to my wedding and we didn't talk for over 2 years. It got back to them that I was pregnant and little by little they became part of my life again. My mother has never said that she is sorry but I've forgiven them as has my husband and we're as close as can be. They know they were wrong and have to live with that.
To the OP: my first thought when I read your post was that your mom might be trying to explain that she has moved past her earlier disapproval. Her use of the word "forgiveness" might, might, simply mean that she has stopped regretting your marriage.
I think you should explore that with your mom. She might not have understood how her statement affected you.
Obviously, if she truly means that she believes you have wronged her and now she forgives, then you and she are in different places. I'd listen to Kathryn on this, who has lived it. Try for reconciliation, but yes, your wife comes first with you now.
Oh I read it and I consider it foolish to even think it deserves consideration. I don't jump to conclusions nor do I jump to tolerate nonsense.
Well, based on the number of reps I've received for my POV, I'd say you're probably in the minority, but you're of course entitled to your opinion and your own lifestyle choices.
I would venture to say, however, that you DO tend to jump to conclusions, since you keep insisting on twisting my words as if I'm saying that my suggestion would work with all parents all the time, or even MOST parents MOST of the time. I'm simply saying that this is ONE alternative to CONSIDER because it MAY apply to SOME situations.
Well, based on the number of reps I've received for my POV, I'd say you're probably in the minority, but you're of course entitled to your opinion and your own lifestyle choices.
I would venture to say, however, that you DO tend to jump to conclusions, since you keep insisting on twisting my words as if I'm saying that my suggestion would work with all parents all the time, or even MOST parents MOST of the time. I'm simply saying that this is ONE alternative to CONSIDER because it MAY apply to SOME situations.
I'm entitled to my opinion and lifestyle choices? Oh thank you, I wasn't aware of that. It's not like you could change me anyway (that was an irrelevant statement). If you really want to throw the rep argument then I would wager that I have more. Then again, it is pointless because you could be lying and there are plenty of imbeciles who can rep people. I could say something random and irrelevant and get repped. Anyway, I don't tolerate racist arrogance.
I've never jumped to conclusions. I've always argued that your saying that such a feeble yet serious tactic (like throwing a kid as a pawn) in HOPES it might work. She hasn't even apologized yet. Give the mom a chance to pull her head out of her arse then we can talk about reconciliation. She doesn't deserve that. There is nothing to twist you spelled it out yourself.
I'm at wits end. My relationship with both of my parents have been rocky since high school. Currently I do not speak to my father at all unless there's a real reason to do so (and if we do it's always fine, but we don't go out of our way to talk to each other and it's been about a year or so since I've spoken with him). I speak to my mother on the phone once every 2 weeks on average, and we'll just talk about life.
There are many reasons out relationship isn't great, but the big one is that I married a woman they did not approve of. My wife is a terrific person that everyone likes, but my parents decided she wasn't right for me because of (1) her race and (2) they feel she's not very good looking! So best case scenario they are just racist and judgmental people. After that I cut off all ties to my parents for over a year before I began speaking with my mother again, and it's been like that for about 5 years.
We basically avoid talking about it, but today on the phone my mom mentioned that she "forgives" me for marrying my wife. It took all the restraint I have to not scream at her and hang up. How dare she have this kind of attitude when she's the one that should be apologizing to both my wife and me?
I can be an adult about this. In fact, I think i've done a good job doing so. If my parents don't want to accept my wife, I can understand that. But that my mother feels like I should actually be SORRY that I didn't agree with their racist and judgmental views on my wife is just insane.
Honestly at this point I do not know how I should deal with this person that happened to have given birth to me.
we dont get to choose our parents, but thankfully we do get to choose our partners. If your mom beat you, people would say cut off all ties. Yet, this attitude that she carries towards your wife, I would say is abusive towards your wife. Put the ball in her court and tell her not to call until she changes her hateful ways. Then it would be her, who cut you off, her that chose to hate instead of being involved with her son and his family and her left with the guilt by her own choice
My friend told her son in front of his new wife on his wedding day that she wished he had married his other girlfriend instead. They are the same race but ignorance is ignorance. I secretly wished he had married the other one too but I pointed out to the mother that it wasn't her choice and that she had to respect his decision. I think KA has some sound advice and is a good person. Sometimes leading by example and taking the high road is the best decision. Prejudice is sometimes learned from childhood and deeply engrained in adult years. Undoing years of thinking that way does not happen over night. OP I would have your wife sit down and talk with your parents and tell them that she doesn't judge them by the color of their skin, but that some of her family members might be prejudice. Have her tell them that she would love to have them attend family functions and if anyone is disrespectful towards them in any way that they should come and talk to her and that she would set them straight. I work in a place and sometimes I'm the minority. It changes your perspective and I find the diversity enriching. Maybe the OP's parents need to be in a situation like that to understand how ignorant it is to judge by skin color alone. You can teach old dogs new tricks but it requires a lot more time and patience. Being mad at your parents for their attitude towards your wife is counter productive. I think feeling sorry for them for missing out on getting to know your wonderful wife is more the attitude you should convey. I hope they come around for you two. It could be a beautiful thing. If not can you adopt me? I have no family and I don't care what color her skin is as long as she can cook.
Honestly at this point I do not know how I should deal with this person that happened to have given birth to me.
If that's all she is, walk away and don't look back. Change your phone number and block her email address.
It's nothing more than an accident she gave birth to you. Don't place artificial importance on that. It's NOT important.
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It's not like you could change me anyway (that was an irrelevant statement). If you really want to throw the rep argument then I would wager that I have more. Then again, it is pointless because you could be lying and there are plenty of imbeciles who can rep people. I could say something random and irrelevant and get repped. Anyway, I don't tolerate racist arrogance. 
