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And may I ask you do the same for my posts and don't post things like this to me or others:
And calling me a "control freak" and that my opinion view is "untrue" after I simply posted my view on this matter?
May I suggest you look in the mirror before you accuse others of being controlling. And may I suggest the same to you. Take a breather.
Dish it out calling names like control freak but when asked to take your own advice and stop being...exactly what you called me, , you really freak out. Oh the irony LOL
Two people are getting married, so it's not "one persons day". With that common sense, it's doubtful you're going to get many to agree it is the Brides Day, or the Grooms Day only.
And the marriage celebration is for adopting someone into the family. Two people to be exact, two families. I would hope all effort is made so everyone in the family which is accepting the new person into their family, is actually able to be present to accomplish this task. Our loved ones are the most important
And that's a thumbs up^^ it means nothing more than a thumbs up
Just from one guy's perspective(me!), I really didn't care where/when/how the wedding occurred. It could have been an ultra fancy wedding or a judge at 11:43pm on a Tuesday night. All I cared about was that I was marrying my wife. If we had a big wedding and invited people, friends and family, and they all showed up...great! If half the people we invited showed up....fine! If no people showed up....that's ok too!
From my experience working in the business, working with the wedding parties, lining them up, watching the dynamics of it all behind the scenes, I can tell you more than a few weddings were stressed out affairs with families that were dysfunctional on a level that most wouldn't believe. In these cases, everyone put on a false smile(but not all the time!) and the tension was obvious. And it wasn't pleasant for all involved. So from my experience, the celebration of family and everyone getting together in a nice way is sometimes not reality.
And yes, as you portray it, it would certainly be nice if it always worked out that way and sometimes it does, but many times there is just varying degrees of stress/ugliness. And the bigger the family, the more the odds go up of dysfunction. And that's just the wedding. All that dysfunction continues on of course after the wedding. That's life I suppose. Some people aren't going to get along with others, family or not.
All I have to add is there have been studies showing that the more money you spend on a wedding the less likely it is to last. When more emphasis is put on the actual marriage the marriage lasts longer.
I was reading an article in last Sunday's paper about various factors that are linked to the longevity of a marriage. I told my husband the part about the wedding cost being inversely proportional to the length of the wedding. I joked that he'll be stuck with me for all eternity because we spent $125 for the Justice of the Peace to come to our house, $40 for a wristlet and corsage, and I wore a dress I got on clearance for $40! That was our total cost.
I LOVED my tiny, intimate wedding, even though at that point in our careers we could have thrown an over-the-top circus if that's what we'd wanted. (We did spend 3 weeks in Europe for our honeymoon---for us, that was a much better use of our money). I understand that most people want a bigger event than we chosen for ourselves, but i think moderation is much more tasteful and classy.
To me, a Disney wedding sounds ridiculous and immature. To think that OP has spent her life thinking about her dream wedding sounds, to me, shallow, fantasyland, and misses the point of what getting married is truly about. (not that anyone can truly know what getting married is about until they've spent a few years experiencing it). Sure, it's HER life, and she has every right to spend her money and spend her wedding day the way she wants. But her fiance's family has every right to their opinion, and to be concerned about their future DIL's financial choices and priorities.
Building strong relationships with her fiance's family is infinitely more important than anything about the wedding day.
Umm..most of my guest list was already spending money on airfare anyways. I didn't have an extravagant wedding. I spent about 6000$ fifteen years ago, which included airfare for the few who couldn't pay. We had a nice wedding with nice memories, and everyone had a lovely time. In fact a large group went back for an anniversary trip. It was sweet.
I didn't get gifts, except from some who insisted.
Some of the posters are getting really riled about this. Attend or not. It's not that big of a deal.
Yes, you stated that (bolded above) but thanks for the reminder. I probably wasn't clear. Glad to hear you had a nice wedding and everyone had a lovely time. That was really sweet of you to refrain from getting gifts except from those who insisted, wow. I've not heard of this. You sound like such a sweet person, your hubby must be proud
For our wedding: Disney World equipped with carriage ride, Disney characters and basically everything they offer lol. Disney has packages and while we are taking advantage of one but also adding our own flavoring. We are also going to do a themed photo shoot and all that jazz.
Once we were engaged we bought a house in the saw city as my husband's family. I had only met them a handful of times but was looking forward to getting close. His sister-in-law had expressed interest in being in the wedding so I made are her a bridesmaid. But now I'm getting all kinds of criticism from them because of a handful of reasons:
1.) His sister-in-law (his brother's wife), his mother and two sister all hate the Disney idea as soon as it was announced. They laughed at first but they all think it's "immature". Also they don't like it's a destination wedding and they will actually have to leave the state. The SIL and one of the sisters have both gotten married at the same venue and mentioned it as a possibility for us. It's a beautiful place but I find it boring and wouldn't go with our theme. It's been a pain to get them to show up for fittings even though everyone is close by! All my bridesmaids (six) have made the time to get their dresses fitted and see mine and all of the are in different states! Anyway, I can't get his family on board.
I'm just tired of the judgment and negativity. I want to love them because we're all about to be family but it's hard for me. Plus, we all just have such separate interests. They are all sarcastic. They all love the outdoors and his SIL is all "eco friendly" and it's been hard for me to get along with them. I'm trying the best I can but it's all been so awful. I don't want SIL in the wedding anymore because she's been a buzzkill and if she's not taking it seriously it's going to ruin a beautiful day I'm scared his sisters and mom will do the same.
Having just celebrated our 51st wedding anniversary, and considering how great this location would be for the bride and groom , I can only say, That so many people today spend so much on the wedding day they have nothing left for their life as Husband and Wife The wife had a small wedding with a few close family members> Then we started life , just the two of us .
Just from one guy's perspective(me!), I really didn't care where/when/how the wedding occurred. It could have been an ultra fancy wedding or a judge at 11:43pm on a Tuesday night. All I cared about was that I was marrying my wife. If we had a big wedding and invited people, friends and family, and they all showed up...great! If half the people we invited showed up....fine! If no people showed up....that's ok too!
From my experience working in the business, working with the wedding parties, lining them up, watching the dynamics of it all behind the scenes, I can tell you more than a few weddings were stressed out affairs with families that were dysfunctional on a level that most wouldn't believe. In these cases, everyone put on a false smile(but not all the time!) and the tension was obvious. And it wasn't pleasant for all involved. So from my experience, the celebration of family and everyone getting together in a nice way is sometimes not reality.
And yes, as you portray it, it would certainly be nice if it always worked out that way and sometimes it does, but many times there is just varying degrees of stress/ugliness. And the bigger the family, the more the odds go up of dysfunction. And that's just the wedding. All that dysfunction continues on of course after the wedding. That's life I suppose. Some people aren't going to get along with others, family or not.
Very interesting, nice to hear it from a professional prospective. thanks for taking the time to type that out. I've only been to a handful of large extravagant weddings and honestly, it did seem like there was alot of tension. As where the smaller weddings, with friends getting married, did not. But that's just my experience with a small handful of weddings, nothing surely set in stone.
But the food at all the celebrations, was absolutely delicious
I was reading an article in last Sunday's paper about various factors that are linked to the longevity of a marriage. I told my husband the part about the wedding cost being inversely proportional to the length of the wedding. I joked that he'll be stuck with me for all eternity because we spent $125 for the Justice of the Peace to come to our house, $40 for a wristlet and corsage, and I wore a dress I got on clearance for $40! That was our total cost.
LOL!!
It may mean the research data about large, extravagant weddings linking to higher divorce rates only mean that ...dysfunctional families are more likely to have larger, more expensive weddings?
Very interesting, thanks for taking the time to type that out. It sure sounds like reality. I've only been to a handful of large extravagant weddings and honestly, it did seem like there was alot of tension. As where the smaller weddings, with friends getting married, did not. But that's just my experience with a small handful of weddings, nothing to post data bout.
But the food at all the celebrations, was absolutely delicious
Yep, exactly my experience too on the smaller vs larger parties. And I agree on the food!
And sometimes the food was a good place to seek solace after I was stuck between yelling/tension filled family members for a while.
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. All I cared about was that I was marrying my wife.
I'm scared his sisters and mom will do the same. 
