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Everdeen
We're talking about 2 old guys who grew up in a tiny rural community, in the pre-WW2 era. They came from a long gone era of genteelity. In short the two old fellows were perfectly harmless and quite respectful by those older standards. The NJ A hole belittled a man in public and on his own property. . The NJ A hole deserved a solid southern style A** kicking and there were a number of the locals who wanted to gift him with one. At the time, his actions could just as easily have gotten him killed, right on the spot, for disrespect.
The two shop owners were very gentle souls who never meant to offend anyone. They even asked that he be left alone. It was actually pretty amazing just how alone everyone, within quite a few miles radius, left him. No one would work for him and a helping hand was never again extended his way.
As for your feelings.... all I can say is "I really really don't care".... LOL. Bless your all too easily offended little thumping gizzard [/sarcasm]
Everdeen
We're talking about 2 old guys who grew up in a tiny rural community, in the pre-WW2 era. They came from a long gone era of genteelity. In short the two old fellows were perfectly harmless and quite respectful by those older standards. The NJ A hole belittled a man in public and on his own property. . The NJ A hole deserved a solid southern style A** kicking and there were a number of the locals who wanted to gift him with one. At the time, his actions could just as easily have gotten him killed, right on the spot, for disrespect.
The two shop owners were very gentle souls who never meant to offend anyone. They even asked that he be left alone. It was actually pretty amazing just how alone everyone, within quite a few miles radius, left him. No one would work for him and a helping hand was never again extended his way.
As for your feelings.... all I can say is "I really really don't care".... LOL. Bless your all too easily offended little thumping gizzard [/sarcasm]
I don't know where this is coming from, but my feelings were not offended for this man one way or other. In fact, I figured, based on your characterization, that he was a jerk.
But what if he wasn't a jerk? What if he was just some fellow who didn't want to be called honey (or boy) by an older man? Does everyone deserve to be treated in a way that is largely considered offensive all because he doesn't know some microcosmic colloquialism? As a female, I can assure that some older men come off creepy when they call you honey. I can only imagine how it might sound to another man who has never been around a culture where that was considered acceptable.
I was raised in a time when it was required to respect your elders. If an older person, especially an elderly person, calls me honey or dear, it doesn't bother me much and even it did, I would not say anything - you know, the whole respect thing.
When a young person uses it with a person who is old enough to be their mother, it's condescending. But then again, the whole respect is treated with ire, so I guess, it shouldn't surprise me.
I generally find these endearments...endearing. There are very few exceptions and there is no rule one can follow to know if they are on the right or wrong side of it with me...aside from asking oneself questions about motivation.
I'm really hard to offend as a rule. But if this kind of language is used by, say, a drunk dude who also feels the need to obviously look at my chest, put his hand on my arm or shoulder, or go on to hit on me...um, no thanks! But I'm not a little hottie club-goer, this tends to happen (rarely) when I'm at a bar to shoot pool with my league, which also includes my husband, and it's typically really skeevy and quite inebriated men who are old enough to be my father that do this. Which means that, on account of the alcohol, they are overly persistent despite me mentioning that I'm married and despite all of my cues for them to stop.
In this kind of situation, "honey" or "sweetheart" is the least of my issues. I'd rather that person not say anything to me, after a point, y'know?
Other that that, I don't mind, and I do it occasionally myself.
I don't like "ma'am" however. To me it sounds like a bleating sort of noise like a sheep or goat would make. I just find it phonetically annoying.
I am in my 60s although I don't think it necessarily matters, since the people who called me Sweetheart, Darlin, and Sweetie, called others the same thing.
My dental hygienist kept calling me Sweetheart. The drunken guy at the liquor store calls me Darlin', and the waitress at lunch today called everyone she waited on Sweetie.
It drives me nuts. Maybe its a southern thing?
You're not the only one. May I add: Especially the patronizing ones..
Maybe it is "a southern thing," but in NYC the streetwalkers would come on with the same lingo; thus, I always think working-girl-on-her-day-job when I hear it from a waitress.
I recently lived there for almost 2 years and I was never called that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter
I party there all the time, not one "hon" spoken to me.
I'm very surprised to hear that. I'm guessing that you both are mostly around younger people, who don't use the expression (or have distinct Baltimore accents) as much as older city residents.
I love being called baby girl but some I realize that might mean I have daddy issues...
LOL I married a man who is very much like my own father. I have a good relationship with my father, and I have a great relationship with my husband.
He only uses the phrase VERY rarely, but once a year or so, if he's feeling very tender, my husband will call me "Baby Girl," and my heart absolutely melts.
To clarify, he doesn't use that phrase, errrr, romantically. He usually uses it if I've done something that he considers touchingly sweet or a little silly, like crying over kittens or being excited about a fancy pedicure!
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