Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
So I guess you and I are about the only cranky old ladies who don't like being talked down to like a child by young people? If a person my own age does it, I'm not offended.
I'm old and cranky, and more to the point I'm astute.
When a young perky thing also addresses his/her peers as 'sweetie', then I chalk it up to southern indoctrination, no biggie.
When s/he calls age peers by name but calls we elders "sweetie", well, that's not a southern thing at all, it's a deliberately lazy refusal to acknowledge we're worthy of addressing by name.
First, understand I am a grown up man. All 69 years of me. And STILL - TO THIS DAY - I get a long look from an occasional lady. So, I ain't no yard dog. Never cheated on my wife. But I ain't no yard dog.
I worked the last 5 years of my working life as a trucker. 750,000 miles. 18 wheeler.
It started when I was about 64. The guy in line in front of me would be paying up with the cutie behind the fuel desk, and she would be saying, yessir, nosir, and thank you very much Sir".
Then I would step up and she would smile at me and say, "Hi, Sweetie"!
Maybe I should feel flattered that young ladies feel that comfortable around me. Maybe I should feel horrified that young ladies feel that comfortable around me. I don't know what I feel.
It happens in the South a lot. But it happens other places, too.
I dunno. Maybe it's better than "Sir".
great post!!
and here in lies the difference between a man and women as I read these posts
if a younger lady smiles, addresses an older gentleman as honey, sweetie, the guy likes it, might even make his day. doesn't matter if she is a waitress, or a clerk at a store, where-ever
if a younger man says this to an older lady, honey ,or sweetie, she gets offended!??
this is feminism gone nuts
ive heard three ladies have fun with this once, when a young waiter came to get the ladies lunch order , one lady spoke up and said " to be clear, that lady is "babe", this lady is "sweetheart" and my name is "darlin" and they all had a good laugh
my god folks, lighten the heck up, in this cold, often cruel world, if someone means no harm,,,
and addressing you with a regional term of endearment,,,,just go along with it..
when I was in the south visiting my sister, I picked up on this right away...and I thought ,,how nice!!
I didn't get all offended
It doesn't bother me at all. I know it usually a habit people fall into so unless someone is being crude I'm not concerned with terms or phrases like this. I work with a woman in her late 40's who calls everyone "hon". Everyone. I suspect it's because she has 4 kids and it was just easier...haha.
I am in my 60s although I don't think it necessarily matters, since the people who called me Sweetheart, Darlin, and Sweetie, called others the same thing.
My dental hygienist kept calling me Sweetheart. The drunken guy at the liquor store calls me Darlin', and the waitress at lunch today called everyone she waited on Sweetie.
It drives me nuts. Maybe its a southern thing?
I'm physically (but not mentally) disabled. Folks do this to me a lot. Or the guys (like I am) will use "buddy" or "boss" or whatever. I notice this in particular when I am in line for something, and everyone else is "sir" or "ma'am".
But at times, it's just informality, and is applied to everybody, and not meant to be condescending. I try to put the brakes on my distaste at it if I sense this is the case.
I used to do business with a true old school rural hardware store near Greer SC. We're talking the sort of place with a pot belly stove that was usually surrounded by local farmers enjoying a break. Lies were swapped and pocket knives traded at any hour that you might wander in. The place was run by a pair of brothers who were probably well into their 60's, both of whom had souls as kindly as they come.
I was a young buck, in my early 20's, the first time I walked into their world to pick up supplies for our shop. The had everything alread bagged and waiting when i got there. One of the brothers spoke an said... "Honey, when I totaled everything up it seemed a bit high so I marked it down to $x.xxfor you. I was a fair strapping lad at the time and being called Honey caught me oddly off guard. I said nothing beyond a quick thank you and left.
I did business with the brothers for 20 years and I quickly learned everyone, male, female, young, old and of every hue and color were addressed as "Honey". They all somehow wound up getting prices marked down "to be fair" .... except those who balked at being called "honey". I witnessed a scene one day that was both enlightening and a window into southern culture.
There was a fellow who had moved here from NJ, and he embodied all the associated negative stereotypes. He made the mistake of telling one of the brothers off fr saying "Honey". I was in line behind him and almost spoke up, but the brother caught my eye an barely shook his head. I watched as he looked at the guys order and then re-figured it, without saying a word.
After the guy left, the brother and I commiserated over the lack of manners we'd just witnessed. He told me that everyone knew the mark down thing was just their way of saying thanks for being a customer and that the marked price was generally a known fiction. He said he'd already forgiven the guy for being rude on several occasions, but this time he'd crossed the boundary of embarrassment. From that day forward, the guy from NJ paid full mark up.... as what the brothers called their A**hole tax. The price of not being among the "honey's" came high.
Make it an issue and you'll soon learn that all of that wonderfully gracious southern charm has a dark side too. Being socially ostracized in the south is not an experience you'll care for.
When you say, he made the mistake of telling one of the brothers off for saying 'honey', I'm not sure to what degree the fellow was rude to the shop owner. I do know, however, that many fellows would be quite put out by being called honey by another man; kind of like calling them boy. When it is considered rude by a notable percentage of the population, it's rather boorish of the shop owner to penalize people who prefer to not be referred to in this manner.
As evidence in this thread and also by many rep comments by members who are not posting on this topic but agree with me, it's sizable enough that, perhaps, it is due some thoughtfulness.
I am in my 60s although I don't think it necessarily matters, since the people who called me Sweetheart, Darlin, and Sweetie, called others the same thing.
My dental hygienist kept calling me Sweetheart. The drunken guy at the liquor store calls me Darlin', and the waitress at lunch today called everyone she waited on Sweetie.
It drives me nuts. Maybe its a southern thing?
Maybe it is "a southern thing," but in NYC the streetwalkers would come on with the same lingo; thus, I always think working-girl-on-her-day-job when I hear it from a waitress.
If you come to Baltimore, you'd better be ready to get called "Hon".
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
