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I am actually glad to see that it DOES happen to all sorts of people as I literally have never seen it happen to anyone else in real life. Except for this one guy at the airport once.
It is why I asked the question.
Here, I bet color does have *something* to do with it bc it is an area with a large demographic of brown people in the service industry.
I don't feel like a victim of anything. I am a friendly helpful person who will try to help if I know the answer.
The facts are that
a. people see my house/cars and ask what my husband does for a living (I don't have one)
b. none of my male physician colleagues are ever mistaken for "the nurse"
c. none of my white friends have ever been mistaken for the maid when they answer their own door
So, given my experience, iI don't think it is odd for me to wonder if race/gender plays a part in this situation.
If I really cared, I would bedeck myself in furs and diamonds every time I left the house instead of jeans, etc. But I am more curious than anything.
I work in an area with plenty of hispanic people working in retail, I am white, it never prevents people from asking me stupid questions.
Maybe they are trying to open the door to conversation and see if you are available!
I get asked for help all the time, whether in Target or the grocery store. If I know the answer, I'll tell them. If I don't, I tell them. I apparently look friendly and approachable, and I don't mind helping if I can.
I used to get asked for help at a grocery store often and the grocery store happened to be next door to my workplace and I would get asked when I was there on my lunch break and thinking back, I never had a purse on me when people asked. I've been asked at the corner store by our house and that is another place that I don't usually bring a purse to. I never realized it before but I bet that's it. The purse!
In most stores I've been in recently I've noted that those working there have become very skilled at avoiding eye contact with customers and dodging them quickly before they can ask for help. They work harder at that than their job. People are just going after the most approachable and apparently available human there.
well....maybe they are on their 5-min break and trying to get to the bathroom?
It happens to me all the time. It is common that people know I don't work there, but, they figure they can ask me anyway. I don't mind it makes me feel like I have a purpose in life
In most stores I've been in recently I've noted that those working there have become very skilled at avoiding eye contact with customers and dodging them quickly before they can ask for help. They work harder at that than their job. People are just going after the most approachable and apparently available human there.
Wow I have never actually encountered that. I find most employees at least decent and some are amazing.
Thanks so much for starting this thread OP!!! I get this ALL the time. I do most of my grocery shopping at the Farmers Market, Whole Foods, Sprouts, Central Market, etc.....and I have to admit, I was taking it REALLY personally (as in "noooo...we just don't WORK in these types of stores, we SHOP here too!!!) What a relief to see that ALL kinds of people get these types of inquiries!!
I was in Whole Foods the other day and this mid 20's female is holding a live holiday wreath. She asks me "You wouldn't happen to know where they may sell other wreaths, do you?" I answered "Sorry, I don't work here", slightly agitated. She responded quite easily "Oh I know, I just wanted to know if you knew of any other stores around here that sold wreaths!" and she smiled. I felt so embarassed. She made small talk with me while we were in line, and I left the store in a better mood than when I went in.
I learned a lesson from that young lady, and it was not to automatically jump to conclusions, and to take each situation as it comes. Not to lump EVERYONE in the same basket because of the encounters of a few. She was probably the same age as my son, but you never know where you may learn something new LOL
My thoughts are that you are experiencing life just like everyone else.
Now, if many people are saying, "I don't want the brown woman physician, get me a white male!", you might have a valid concern. If one or two said something of that nature, then no, you just encountered a couple of ignorant people. However, I'm certain nothing like this ever happened because that would have been at the top of your list.
It is human nature to judge others on multiple levels. It's probably survival instinct to quickly try to size up others. Are you implying that you never incorrectly assessed something about another person? Something that could be construed as racist or sexist? That would be remarkable. I make a conscious effort not to, but I'm not perfect.
Many people have made all sorts of erroneous assumptions about me using preconceived ideas. It annoyed me when I was younger but these days I just blow it off. What they think doesn't affect what I was planning to do next.
How is mistaking someone for the maid a survival instinct? She has every right to feel as she does.
I am asked for help whenever I go into a store when I don't have a basket or shopping cart.
I get asked for help all the time, whether in Target or the grocery store. If I know the answer, I'll tell them. If I don't, I tell them. I apparently look friendly and approachable, and I don't mind helping if I can.
I do, too, and that is usually how I respond.
One time I got kind of grumpy with a couple that got nasty and even swore at me when I told them I didn't work there and didn't know. After getting cussed out, which included, "It would have been less time to answer my *#$^&$# question than wasting $@#$ energy trying to get out of @#$#$@ work."
I smiled, apologized, and sent them to the farthest corner of the store. Told them if they didn't find it they'd have to find a manager and let him or her know we were out. If they had any sense they would have known that was goofy.
And then I smiled for real.
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