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Oh forget it I missed this post. There is booze involved. Sorry to hear that.
Next time if you are going to allow families, I'd make it family friendly. That might help attendance. I'd never have brought our son to a
boozer party. Now I see why there was such a lack of respect for you
I can't tell if you are joking or being sarcastic.
Yes...I agree with the poster above. Choose either to have a couples only party, or a family type party....Or just ask the guys as you see them why they were no-shows....Then you'll know what needs to change to get them there next year.
I disagree. Changing the party to suit the guests when this has apparently become a nice "tradition" for all and simply because the guys didn't show up wouldn't be my solution.
What I would do is nicely address the no-shows next year by making a point to politely ask everyone to respond to the invitation and let you know exactly who's planning to attend. It's a shame to have to resort to reminding people about common manners but I'd be rather put out too if I'd made preparations to accommodate all genders and ages, only to have a bunch not show up. I'd just point out, as briefly and as diplomatically as humanly possible, that - as always - you want to make sure that everyone has enough to eat and drink and that there's neither shortage nor waste.
I would not have the party this next year, then regroup the next year and scale it back. After 6 years, the kids have all aged and the dynamic has changed.
Also, I know my husband likes big group social events much less as he gets older. After being around lots of various people in the office all week, on weekends he doesn't want the pressure that comes with socializing in a large group.
I used to live in an amazing neighborhood where family gatherings like this were common. When the cracks in my marriage appeared, my husband lost interest. He'd say he was going to go, but would end up 'working' late. Eventually he stopped showing up at all.
I asked what the activities were because at least in my experience with these things (as an attendee) people tend to get bored without a central activity (like a super bowl party) year after year. If you held this every other year or if you relocated the party to another part of the year your attendance might go up especially since your party is held just after the New Year when everyone is worn out with food, drink and the socializing of the season. These MIA guys might have grabbed the time sans family to just unwind a bit in comfy clothes, a super low key day before going back to work.
I would not have the party this next year, then regroup the next year and scale it back. After 6 years, the kids have all aged and the dynamic has changed.
Also, I know my husband likes big group social events much less as he gets older. After being around lots of various people in the office all week, on weekends he doesn't want the pressure that comes with socializing in a large group.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stagemomma
He'd say he was going to go, but would end up 'working' late. Eventually he stopped showing up at all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AK-Cathy
These MIA guys might have grabbed the time sans family to just unwind a bit in comfy clothes, a super low key day before going back to work.
One can hypothesize ad nauseam why people didn't show up but that doesn't in any way excuse the lack of bad manners in just being a no-show. The OP's disgruntled reaction is perfectly normal and understandable.
Oh forget it I missed this post. There is booze involved. Sorry to hear that.
Next time if you are going to allow families, I'd make it family friendly. That might help attendance. I'd never have brought our son to a
boozer party. Now I see why there was such a lack of respect for you
One can hypothesize ad nauseam why people didn't show up but that doesn't in any way excuse the lack of bad manners in just being a no-show. The OP's disgruntled reaction is perfectly normal and understandable.
True. I don't think we are excusing that behavior. (I for one am not. I believe in honoring my commitments.) We are theorizing why these guys might have gone missing this year. Short of asking the guys themselves which would be pretty awkward, the OP might want to rethink the party or how the party is structured in the future as far as the males are concerned.
There is a reason so many guys went missing this year and I think the OP wants to know what that might be without confronting his friends. I didn't see the OP's post as a simple rant against poor etiquette but more a question of what happened. Nothing to say to the rant but "sorry this happened to you" however the theories and our personal experience may be helpful to the OP for the future of this party or not. Personally I got the sense that the "tradition" was meaningful to the OP but was more "obligation" on the part of the adult male invitees. Shrug. I could be wrong.
On the RSVP issue, I would think that at least half of the no-show guys thought, "No big deal, the family is coming." not thinking about how their not showing would upset the balance of the party.
OP good luck with this issue. I get why it bugs you.
I think the main reason for the no shows is that we men don't tend to like these get togethers as much as women do. Personally, I hate parties like you mentioned and only went because my Wife forced me to go. I just found it boring to stand around making chit chat when I could be doing something I really enjoyed.
The men probably came for the first few years because they felt obligated but are now saying enough is enough.......so they sent their Wives and kids and called it good.
Don
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