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What point? I haven not even seen your post. As I told the OP, if you're going to invite people then do so with an open mind and don't expect anything. Maybe there's a good reason for rejecting the invite or not showing up. It's not all about you. From my perspective, if I reject an invitation or don't go to a party, it has little to do with the friendship itself. Most of the time, it's cause I just don't feel like partying or don't like the other guests. That's just how it is and if the person wants to flip out over a little party, then, he or she wasn't a true friend anyway. No wonder people aren't showing.
You don't have to go however this thread is about people who RSVP'd and didn't show up like they have in previous years. When you're invited to a party, don't RSVP with a yes and then not show up.
We host a family party after New Years every year for, oh, maybe the past 6 years. Definitely qualifies as a tradition by now. Lots of food and drink, fun for kids, and it's always been a nice family time. My wife and I know how to host!
Same core group of families we've known for a while, all of us with kids. We have expanded the guest list some each year with no ill effects.
(We never have it on a big football day, FWIW)
This year, there were several couples who RSVP'd but only the wife and kid(s) ended up attending. So many so, that if I hadn't at the last minute invited some good work friends (all who came, all with spouses), I'd have been one of maybe 3 guys at my whole house.
Yes...I should almost certainly chalk it up to a random event. I know, I know. But for some reason it's bugging me beyond reason.
Maybe because it changed the tone of the party to more of a mommy+kid time?
Maybe because I/we worked our ass/es off to host the thing?
Maybe because the whole RSVP thing is so lame these days?
I really look forward to these parties each year, as it's nice to catch up with the other dads. Wife and I have plenty---possibly too much---separate time with our respective mom and dad friend groups.
I'm probably taking it way too personal.
Anyone relate?
I'd be bothered, too, because it IS a ton of work. Doesn't anyone appreciate that any more?
Oh forget it I missed this post. There is booze involved. Sorry to hear that.
Next time if you are going to allow families, I'd make it family friendly. That might help attendance. I'd never have brought our son to a
boozer party. Now I see why there was such a lack of respect for you
I hope you don't bring your son to Applebee's, Olive Garden etc. They serve alcohol as well. As a matter of fact don't take your son to Chuck E Cheeses's as they sell beer and wine as well.
You don't have to go however this thread is about people who RSVP'd and didn't show up like they have in previous years. When you're invited to a party, don't RSVP with a yes and then not show up.
They did RSVP and the wives and children showed up for the party....So, technically they did both.
Personally...I would not be analyzing this as much as the OP.... Maybe the wives and kids enjoy this get together, and the husbands don't.
Maybe the wives and the OP's wife were friends.....And the husbands were just tag alongs.
Sometimes you gotta just enjoy life, and let the unimportant things go. I think OP is simply trying to hard, which has a negative effect on many types of people...Relax....enjoy yourself.
Questions: Just some things to ponder....
OP....Did you have any fun at all...or did you spend your time worrying about why the other halves weren't there?? if you spent your time worrying, take a look at your priorities....And maybe it is time to let go of either your expectations.....or your "tradition".
And...Do the husbands invite you out individually?
You sound very into the hosting thing, maybe more so than the average married guy.
Have you seen the TV show Cheers?
There's Sam the bartender, a jock and very much a sports-watching guy.
Then there's Frasier, not-so-much the average guy, very much the intellectual, and more about the finer things in life (like good scotch).
Perhaps you're more of a Frasier, and those husbands are more like Sam, happier to sit around the TV with a beer and grunt a lot?
They did RSVP and the wives and children showed up for the party....So, technically they did both.
Personally...I would not be analyzing this as much as the OP.... Maybe the wives and kids enjoy this get together, and the husbands don't.
Maybe the wives and the OP's wife were friends.....And the husbands were just tag alongs.
Sometimes you gotta just enjoy life, and let the unimportant things go. I think OP is simply trying to hard, which has a negative effect on many types of people...Relax....enjoy yourself.
Questions: Just some things to ponder....
OP....Did you have any fun at all...or did you spend your time worrying about why the other halves weren't there?? if you spent your time worrying, take a look at your priorities....And maybe it is time to let go of either your expectations.....or your "tradition".
And...Do the husbands invite you out individually?
I had a blast...I know it was buried in my OP, but with a week out I invited a bunch of my friends and they all came (with SOs if they had one) so it was good. It was the "original" core group that had the husband drop off. Which now I'm made my peace with...traditions change and change is normal. I also have a sneaky suspicion that the "original" core perhaps haven't liked us widening out the invite list. Who cares, my house my list.
Sounds like it could be a fluke. They did accept your invitation.
I know, as a guy, I don't like when people keep head counts/score. If you're going to invite somebody then, invite but, don't hold grudges, keep tabs, etc.. That's not what guys do. If I know someone's doing that then it makes me not want to attend the next event.
I see your side, but I know I personally don't want to be known as someone who blows things off after committing.
I also have a sneaky suspicion that the "original" core perhaps haven't liked us widening out the invite list. Who cares, my house my list.
See, you always know the source of the problem, even if you don't think you do.
I'll admit that ^^^ bugged me about this one couple we know.
There was a core group from work, and we all got along as well as our kids. Then one time we showed up and there were 2 other couples we didn't know from the host friend's church.
It was not as relaxing and in fact one of the "new" husbands was very abrasive. A different dynamic is ... different, and not always better.
Whatever. Just not showing up is rude, yes. But only having one half of a couple show up to a couples party is weird.
What point? I haven not even seen your post. As I told the OP, if you're going to invite people then do so with an open mind and don't expect anything. Maybe there's a good reason for rejecting the invite or not showing up. It's not all about you. From my perspective, if I reject an invitation or don't go to a party, it has little to do with the friendship itself. Most of the time, it's cause I just don't feel like partying or don't like the other guests. That's just how it is and if the person wants to flip out over a little party, then, he or she wasn't a true friend anyway. No wonder people aren't showing.
I know we did a horrible thing by inviting our friends, getting their "yes" RSVPs, and being somewhat miffed when there were no-shows.
RSVP "no" and no 'flipping out'. And how would the no-shows even know what I'm feeling? It's not like we berated the wife or anything
We host a family party after New Years every year for, oh, maybe the past 6 years. Definitely qualifies as a tradition by now. Lots of food and drink, fun for kids, and it's always been a nice family time. My wife and I know how to host!
Same core group of families we've known for a while, all of us with kids. We have expanded the guest list some each year with no ill effects.
(We never have it on a big football day, FWIW)
This year, there were several couples who RSVP'd but only the wife and kid(s) ended up attending. So many so, that if I hadn't at the last minute invited some good work friends (all who came, all with spouses), I'd have been one of maybe 3 guys at my whole house.
Yes...I should almost certainly chalk it up to a random event. I know, I know. But for some reason it's bugging me beyond reason.
Maybe because it changed the tone of the party to more of a mommy+kid time?
Maybe because I/we worked our ass/es off to host the thing?
Maybe because the whole RSVP thing is so lame these days?
I really look forward to these parties each year, as it's nice to catch up with the other dads. Wife and I have plenty---possibly too much---separate time with our respective mom and dad friend groups.
I'm probably taking it way too personal.
Anyone relate?
As I read I coundnt wait to say what you said at the end
I think you re taking it way too personal, who cares
All your good friends come
Life is too short to worry
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