Any reason as to why older women specifically middle aged women seem to dislike younger women? (female, male)
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My father didn't have the money to spoil my siblings and I growing up, he is a great father because he made the best of his situation and is very loving. I just want to emphasize that I have never went out of my way to be rude or mean to ANY of women I am talking about above. They have always been the ones who made the first move to bash me. The reason I am asking this question is because it is not all older women have treated me like this, most elderly women like I mentioned have been very kind and loving towards me. I have many female friends in their 70s and 80s. Look, it has never been my intention to look for a second mom, I was never clingy or anything like that. My intentions were to either make acquaintance or friends with the women in question but it has never ended well. I am just frustrated with my situation because I work with a lot of middle aged women and I am just tired of being the center focus of gossip.
Have you discussed with your father the reaction you got from his girlfriends? If he loves you, he should have defended you, and told the gf's to knock it off. If you discuss this with him in a heart-to-heart, you may gain some insight. He's a good source to seek out, since he knows you well.
Do you have some kind of rad look that might be putting people off, like Goth, or something? That wouldn't explain everything, but it could offer a clue.
So all I am asking is, why? I know I am not the only one who has experienced this because my female friends report the same thing. Do women become more socially conservative when they get older therefor look down on younger women because they think they are too liberal? When I worked at the retirement home I made many friends with women in their 70s and 80s who were absolute angels to me and very kind/maternal like my grandmothers. Why do women in their 40s-50s have such a false sense of moral superiority that they think they can trash younger women for not living up to their moral standards, since they were all such virginal innocent angels when they were younger . I am not exaggerating my situation, I get along great with women/men of all ages, race, and religions, its just middle aged women that I have never got along with and I can't seem to figure out why.
You seem to have pinned it down to morality. What would those middle aged women know about your morals?
My father didn't have the money to spoil my siblings and I growing up, he is a great father because he made the best of his situation and is very loving. I just want to emphasize that I have never went out of my way to be rude or mean to ANY of women I am talking about above. They have always been the ones who made the first move to bash me. The reason I am asking this question is because it is not all older women have treated me like this, most elderly women like I mentioned have been very kind and loving towards me. I have many female friends in their 70s and 80s. Look, it has never been my intention to look for a second mom, I was never clingy or anything like that. My intentions were to either make acquaintance or friends with the women in question but it has never ended well. I am just frustrated with my situation because I work with a lot of middle aged women and I am just tired of being the center focus of gossip.
It's you. Not your age.
Do you have any clue what they are saying about you?
So the first step is done - you realize something is wrong. The next step would be to figure out what it is so you can move on to either accepting it or working on yourself to become a more likeable person.
Here is where your "logic" falls apart. You claim that all middle aged women hate/dislike younger women. So did these middle aged teachers also hate every other female student?
If not... It's YOU.
And as for those teachers, I can see why you may have frustrated them as a student.
The only female students they liked were those who were practically nuns, basically almost none. They hated the boys too, I went to strict Catholic high school if that makes any difference. None of the teachers their were particularly nurturing. A large part of our student body came from lower income neighborhoods which meant we had to eternally grateful to them for letting us city rats into their school.
Since everyone said I had to look at myself I looked over some situations that have caused tension at home and at work, you guys be the judge.
-My father's ex gf didn't like the way I dressed, so she kept on berating me about it. I stood my ground because I thought that at 21 I should be able to make my own clothing choices. She didn't like that I rebelled against her and in return she started telling my father these lies about how promiscuous I was and sending him pictures of me partying to show how out of control I was. She talked badly to me about me to her friends, until I finally caved in and started dressing more "modestly" in her eyes. My father later broke with her because she a pathological liar but she blamed me for the breakup.
-My car broke down one morning and tried to call one my coworkers to inform them I was going to be late. None of them picked up their phone so I texted them instead. When I showed up for work they were angry that I didn't inform them I was going to be late. I pointed out that I couldn't reach them via phone so I texted them. They berated me again saying I was showed a lack of communication skills and that I was being lazy. My boss who received my text said it was fine, it was just my coworkers that berated me.
-I showed one of the elderly ladies I took care of at the retirement home my tattoo, when my coworker got wind of it she told me that the tattoo looked awful, that I looked like a tramp, and that I needed to behave more professionally. All that even though the elderly lady herself asked to see it.
-One of my coworker's son showed interest in me one time at a Holiday event we were hosting. We hit it off and made plans to meet up later. He later canceled at the last minute saying he didn't think it would be a good idea. When I pressed him, he told me his mother said lets just say unflattering things about me and my sexual history(which I have never shared with her). I later over hear her saying that I tried to seduce her son even though HE was one who made the first mood. This lady also cheats on her husband but thinks I am the sl*t!
-We hosted a fundraising event one time and we all had to wear the same t shirt. My coworkers gave me the tightest shirt, and didn't look flattering on my body at the time. I heard one of them giggling and mocking me because of how flabby my body was and going on about how she was sooo fit when she was my age.
-Another coworker started spreading rumors that I was sleeping with the boss because "why else would he keep my useless a** around?"(her exact words). Even though I have always finished my task on time and showed up to work on time most days. This rumor caused a lot of tension because the bosses wife actually believed her and I had to clear up all that mess.
Hey maybe I am just unlucky that my coworkers(three middle aged women) are just miserable harpies, and my father had bad taste in women but I have soo many similar stories like those above with same themes. Its getting tiresome, I don't hate middle aged women I am just trying understand why I can't seem to get along with any on a personal level versus other people. They are always bashing my generation and its gets annoying.
Last edited by KathyKathy; 02-02-2016 at 01:37 PM..
No dear, we don't bash your generation. I, and many other women in that middle age group spend lots of time with younger women. It's you.
Look in the mirror and tell us if you honestly think you dress professionally for work. Check your social media settings, as well as what you post. Why would your father's gf see pictures of you partying? Showing up for work "most of the time" is not anything to be proud of. Having a reputation among so many people either has some grain of truth behind it, or you're way oversharing your personal life.
I can't be the only who has noticed this animosity that a lot of middle aged women have towards younger women( specifically those in their teens and twenties.) To give you a little background on myself, my mother died of breast cancer when I was thirteen, and never saw much of her growing up since she was in out of mental health institutions all her life. I have grown up with my father who is a wonderful men, but I have always tried to seek out women around his age for friendship since I never saw much of my own mother. My father, like I said is wonderful but there were certain things I never talked to him about growing up that made me uncomfortable, I always felt if I had more female guidance growing up then I would have had easier time making it through middle school and high school.
However every middle aged women that I have tried to befriend or gotten to know on a personal level have all without exception hated me, or greatly disliked me. My middle aged coworkers hated me, my father's girlfriends have all hated me, my female teachers hated me, my ex bf's mother hated me, etc. It is stranger because elderly women specifically those over 75 seem to love me and are very maternal. Every time I tried to seek out maternal guidance for a middle aged women it has always ended badly. For instances I volunteered at a retirement home over the summer, and my coworkers were mostly middle aged women and they were awful! They spread lies about me, trashed me behind my back and always made rude /curt comments about my appearance. I literally bended over backwards to please these women so they would stop trashing me behind my back but it seemed no matter what I did I was always an example of what is wrong with my "generation." All my middle aged female teachers I had growing up use to make disparaging comments about how awful younger women are and how we are all bunch of spoiled rotten entitled brats and were generally emotionally abusive. I remember one time one of my teachers called me a **** in front of the whole class because I wore a top on hot day with spaghetti straps. Nearly all my dad's gfs have emotionally abused me and made me feel like an awful person about myself. All my boyfriends' mothers have hated me, honestly it seems as though women with sons are the worse, they all seem to have this delusional belief that no women especially younger women is good enough for their special snowflake son . I have had more women in this age group spread malicious lies about me, make disparaging comments about my appearance, and just in general treat me like garbage then women my own age!
So all I am asking is, why? I know I am not the only one who has experienced this because my female friends report the same thing. Do women become more socially conservative when they get older therefor look down on younger women because they think they are too liberal? When I worked at the retirement home I made many friends with women in their 70s and 80s who were absolute angels to me and very kind/maternal like my grandmothers. Why do women in their 40s-50s have such a false sense of moral superiority that they think they can trash younger women for not living up to their moral standards, since they were all such virginal innocent angels when they were younger . I am not exaggerating my situation, I get along great with women/men of all ages, race, and religions, its just middle aged women that I have never got along with and I can't seem to figure out why.
Wow, I'm really sorry you've experienced rejection while seeking comfort and/or a motherhood figure. However, I cannot share your views. Even though I have a mother, she's been IN and OUT of my life since ever and, just like you I been searching for love my entire life, but luckily many middle aged older women have been wonderful to me, just wonderful.
I can't be the only who has noticed this animosity that a lot of middle aged women have towards younger women( specifically those in their teens and twenties.) To give you a little background on myself, my mother died of breast cancer when I was thirteen, and never saw much of her growing up since she was in out of mental health institutions all her life. I have grown up with my father who is a wonderful men, but I have always tried to seek out women around his age for friendship since I never saw much of my own mother. My father, like I said is wonderful but there were certain things I never talked to him about growing up that made me uncomfortable, I always felt if I had more female guidance growing up then I would have had easier time making it through middle school and high school..................
Boom. Sounds like you have some mom resentments to work through. Who knows, maybe you're angry/sad/frustrated/fearful because your mom was "never there"(mentally and emotionally) then ended up "leaving you" (physically).
Your "hatred" of middle aged women may be fear.....fear of closeness and hurt feelings "'cause you're gonna leave me anyway, so my irrational hater behavior needs to back you off before I let down my guard and get close to you".....that kind of thing
Only saying this as a suggestion, but maybe speaking with a therapist will help you work through the tough issues so you don't keep reflecting your unresolved fears on random middle aged women
edit: disclaimer, I went through something like this also with my father (heroin addict, died in '76 when I was becoming a teen, never really "there" mentally, etc) affected me a lot and still does when it comes to getting too close....and it's like a 1000 years later lol good luck OP
I have lots of younger friends, and younger relatives. I've told one co-worker she was so pretty, so young and so smart I just wanted to the slap the youth off of her. /shrug We laughed.
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I went to strict Catholic high school if that makes any difference. None of the teachers their were particularly nurturing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by photobuff42
I really can't see a teacher calling any student something in front of her class that you would have to bleep out just because she wore spaghetti straps. I am also guessing that your school had a dress code that prohibited wearing a top with spaghetti straps without something over it.
I can't see a teacher at a Catholic school using vulgar language and my first thought was to wonder if the spaghetti straps were violating dress code. They would have been in my public high school in the early 90's where we were only allowed to wear shorts if they were below our fingertips when standing with our hands at our sides and skirts had to be knee-length or longer unless you were a cheerleader on game day.
I'm 42. My youngest friend is 25 as is one of my housemates. Another good friend is 29. I met two of my close friends when they were 26; they are now 33. I officiated the wedding ceremony between one of them and the 29 year old. One of my favorite co-workers is 22. If anything, I feel big-sisterly to them.
Now if any of these women came across as self-entitled spoiled brats, they wouldn't be my friends. And it wouldn't matter if they were 25 or 45.
No dear, we don't bash your generation. I, and many other women in that middle age group spend lots of time with younger women. It's you.
Look in the mirror and tell us if you honestly think you dress professionally for work. Check your social media settings, as well as what you post. Why would your father's gf see pictures of you partying? Showing up for work "most of the time" is not anything to be proud of. Having a reputation among so many people either has some grain of truth behind it, or you're way oversharing your personal life.
I said most of days because of that one day I was late one day because my car broke down. The pictures of me parting were completely innocent that my dad wasn't even mad one bit and he is usually strict. I have never shared my personal life with these women, so I do not know how they can spread rumor about me, because none of them have a hint of truth to them.
It seems people in this thread can't accept the fact that being gossiping catty witch isn't confined to one demographic.
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. I am not exaggerating my situation, I get along great with women/men of all ages, race, and religions, its just middle aged women that I have never got along with and I can't seem to figure out why.
