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It could also be that if you're too nice they think you're faking your personality. People seem to expect a certain level of negativity from others and when they're presented with someone who isn't negative, they don't believe you're genuine. By negativity I mean low level complaining, selfishness, etc. and most of all of you don't agree with their opinions, prepare to be shunned.
But I wouldn't say this is exclusive to middle aged women.A lot of women of all ages will hate other women of all ages. Some are just like that.
maybe they see in you a younger self..... and they made mistakes.
maybe they see in you,,,,potential to soar high......while they sting at their own anchors and limitations...
maybe they see in you.....themselves,,,and talk to you as they wished someone would have talked/advised them..when younger
maybe they see in you....youth and energy....
and life's baggage and scars have weighed them down
maybe they see you making the same mistakes they also did......and are trying to tell you ...this is harsh/heavy stuff..
Lol. Maayyybbee. But highly unlikely. I don't know a single woman in my age group who would willingly go back to their 20s. In our 50s we have the family, the home,and the financial security to thumb our noses, but the wisdom to know that if everybody is saying the same thing about us, we need to do some self reflection. We had lots of fun in our 20s, but that fun came with long work hours, dating drama, and worrying much more about silly stuff that we now realize doesn't mean anything in the overall scheme of life.
OP, Looks like you're learning that age does not necessarily equal wisdom. Most of us are taught to respect our elders, and "they know best," etc. Then we find out that a 40-year old can be stuck emotionally in high school, even ones who are educated and professional. "How can this be?" I used to think at your age. It can be a hard thing to accept--I still have trouble accepting it sometimes. Why does it happen? I wish I knew; but the best you can do is control your reaction to it and/or not fan the flames. Maybe people will start to notice you're more mature than the older ones--I like when I'm noticed for that.
Typing of noticing, many middle-aged women have a lot on their plate (divorce, menopause, teenaged children, infirm elderly parents, etc.) and some can't handle it well. They might handle their issues little better than a 21-year old would. They might know or care how they're coming off to the rest of us. And depending on the environment drugs and drinking might be factors (not just young people's problems).
One thing that surprised me though in your OP is treatment from your teachers. Why would they single you out? They are around young people day-in day-out for years.
You can't change other people so you have to figure out how to deal with what you perceive is happening. And that means, ultimately, you have to look within. The only one who can change is you. Become a person you would admire, in all that you do, how you interact with the world, how you help or make a difference, etc. That's in your control. Other people's opinions and feelings are not something you'll ever control.
How many times do I have to repeat that everything they say about me are lies. I have never slept around, my father's ex gf was pathological liar who cheated on him and my coworkers have been nothing but miserable mean spirited harpies. This isn't about authority, this about engaging in petty, silly gossip that only middle school girls do. If they were so mature they would stop all this nonsense so we can move on but no they keep going at it. My coworkers have no authority over me, only my boss does and I have tried to talk to him about but he doesn't understand why we all can't get along . I tried to engage with them on a personal level but it doesn't work. They are catty beyond belief and it is getting tiresome and starting to take a toll on me. One my other coworkers is late at least once a week, but its only when I was late one time that they were annoyed even though I texted them .
This thread seems to fall into same cycle, everyone thinks that everything is my fault, these older women must have a good reason to hate me because we all know middle aged women never gossip or aren't catty .
Actually, I know what the problem is. See as a middle aged woman, we get lists every year (mine comes in my Lands End catalog) of all the young woman we are supposed to universally treat badly. I seem to remember a Kathy on that list. So no worries, the fact that EVERY middle aged woman you have met hates you, and every one on this thread seems to think youre a nut, don't worry about what might possibly be the common denominator. It is REALLY a conspiracy. No worries.
I know my mother was a nightmare to be around, even my grandmother admits to that, .
So what would your grandmother say about YOU? Do you take after your mother??
Sometimes the person one has bitterness towards (for whatever reason) is the person you become.
I'm curious if from your 'strict' Catholic schooling that there isn't/wasn't someone that knowing your situation (loss of mom) took you aside or under their wings and tried to help? If so, how did you react?
I think Scirocco's comment might have captured the gist of the dynamics. That being said, yes some women can be total witches, b**ches and lower than ditches, but there's an old adage that holds very true and take it to heart - if you're playing the part.
'If everybody says it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck" (whether it is or isn't) the universal perception is (drum roll please) IT's a DUCK!
For your own health you may need to leave a toxic work environment and seek out a reputable therapist / counselor. [I only play one on the internet]
I am sorry if you didn't have a good support network when you went through whatever you went through. I get the sense as many others here on CD that there is more going on we are not privy too nor which you may not want to share on the internet.
Perhaps these past posts can provide something helpful to build upon.
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. I tried to engage with them on a personal level but it doesn't work. They are catty beyond belief and it is getting tiresome and starting to take a toll on me. One my other coworkers is late at least once a week, but its only when I was late one time that they were annoyed even though I texted them 
