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I was raised in an extremely religious environment and my relatives still always say they are praying for me. I don't really care one way or the other. It certainly can't hurt. In the spirit of graciousness, I say, "Thank you. I'll take all the prayers I can get."
It seems widely accepted that "it can't hurt" but I think in some ways it can hurt when it leads to people not doing anything tangible.
If you ask me to pray for you, you better be ready to pray cuz I'm going to do it right there where we are!
Sometimes I'll say "Could I pray for you right now?" or I'll ask "Do you want to pray about it?"
Good one! I also think that people often will say "I'll pray for you" or "you're in my prayers" as an expression of sympathy and aren't going to include you in an actual prayer if they even pray at all.
Triple blind studies say they make things worse. Fact.
When I see a press conference with emotional appeals for prayers and pleas to God for the safe return of someone who has been abducted, I know that this case will likely end with the discovery of a beaten body.
I should share with you what it means when you saying "I'm praying for you" to non-believers.
We know your heart is in the right place, but it means you are doing nothing that has any tangible value. I had a co-worker whose house burned down while she was pregnant with twins. MANY people said, "I'll pray for her." and that was it. Many of us bought clothes, diapers, pooled money for a Home Depot gift card, etc.
Some of us were annoyed that the people praying felt that what they did was just as valuable as the tangible gifts. Maybe in their eyes it was. But to a non-believer, you are doing nothing.
Thank you for saying it better than I could . We had a lay off 2 weeks before Christmas, then my husband developed a health issue that is mechanical( not a disease) that will probably be permanent and I had unsucessful surgery about a month ago on a lifelong chronic condition . The "prayers" were nice but were of no help and sometimes were fairly condescending .We knew they would be no help . We are the ones who have struggled through alone ,no family, no nothing and vaguely manage to keep a roof over our heads and eat . We are street smart enough to make it . Sheer survival will to locate and find ANY places for help from living people did this - it takes more than just the DHS - not prayers .
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wes Schultz
I honestly have never had this happen nor heard of it happening. Maybe your circle of influence encompasses many mentally ill people?
I have no idea where OP is from but this is quite common in the Bible belt - and other places . Stuff gets around - you don't have to tell hardly anyone for this to happen . I am no longer in the south but in this case was part of our employment community when he didn't return from lay offs . My surgery was serious so more people back home ( in the south ) did know . LOL they think I need to come home and "eat right" ( translates to "as much as possible" ) and get to church and all this stuff won't happen to you , when actually I was born this way & it makes eating difficult.
Last edited by DutchessCottonPuff; 06-25-2017 at 10:10 AM..
Good one! I also think that people often will say "I'll pray for you" or "you're in my prayers" as an expression of sympathy and aren't going to include you in an actual prayer if they even pray at all.
This is very true. The people who say this usually do so to make them feel better about themselves. It's quickly forgotten.
The same result as talking to a rock. I've seen both sides. Thinking back to when I used to believe prayers never did anything.
I can't remember if anyone ever told me they would pray for me. If someone did tell me that and assuming they meant well I may say "I appreciate your kindness but I'm not religious."
I couldn't bring myself to say "thank you."
I guess the crowning irony of this thread is the number of people who get sanctimonious about what they perceive as other people's sanctimony. Not a lot of self-awareness here, I guess.
Virulent hostility to expressions of faith in this situation is a good deal worse than the original offense. While saying "I'll pray for you" is intended to provide comfort and support to someone facing trouble, taking a king-sized crap on that kind of statement because of whatever animus one has is petty and mean-spirited. Just no other way around it. I mean if someone said, "I'll be thinking about you," would you have the same reaction? Likely not.
And of your circle of friends and acquaintances, how many really come to your rescue with food and errands? A handful, typically, for there typically is not much that can be done. Bring a casserole? Sit with you? Pick up dry cleaning? Okay. So expecting someone who says "I'll pray for you" to transform into some kind of personal valet is not any different than expecting the same from someone who says "I'll be thinking of you." But because someone simply states as much in a way that taps into their core as a person, there are people who want to dredge up every neurosis and tee off on what religion did to them or didn't do for them.
Hey, if someone is just gratuitously blathering on about Jesus at work or whatever, it's perfectly appropriate to have that response. In a situation such as described, it's just not the time and place. You are not drawing some line in the sand against primitive superstition, no matter how much you want to dignify it. Instead, it is really nothing more than a lack of grace on your part, spurning someone who only wants to offer heartful sympathy and hope. If this is your reaction, it says a great deal more about you as a person than the person who is offering prayers. And one's faith or lack thereof has nothing to do with it. The only proper response in this situation is to say, "Thank you," and move on, not indulge in some weird intellectual oneupmanship.
Hey, "I'll pray for you" wouldn't be my response in this kind of situation. My faith doesn't believe in wearing my religion on my sleeve. We don't proselytize, for we believe that faith is best expressed through deeds, not words, by striving for things such as social justice and upholding the dignity and worth of every person. So we avoid those expressions.
But at the same time, their saying so is typically not a) all about them or b) a substitute for offering substantive help. It's stated as a way to offer moral support in a situation. I mean, in my particular faith community, if a member of our church faces issues, we have a community that rallies to their side with food, errands, and companionship in a way that is organized and specific to their needs. There is no ramming of Bible verses down throats but, instead, a quiet presence in that person's life when he or she needs it most.
Last edited by MinivanDriver; 06-29-2017 at 07:09 AM..
It's one thing for someone to say "I'll pray for you" and actually do it and quite another for those that say it as another way of saying "hope you feel better - I'll pray for you" when they have no intention of doing so.
It's one thing for someone to say "I'll pray for you" and actually do it and quite another for those that say it as another way of saying "hope you feel better - I'll pray for you" when they have no intention of doing so.
How do you know what that person is going to do? Aren't you making an assumption about that person without knowing any better?
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