Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
...We have friends and family who sometimes suggest going out to eat or to expensive events that just aren’t in our budget right now. What are some good phrases to use to say “that’s too expensive”...
BTDT. Offer an alternative. Something like this:
"We'd enjoy eating out together but as value investors we like better returns with our entertainment dollars. How about we dine at XYZ instead?" Or, "We'd love to see you but we're more comfortable at home. How about stopping by for barbecued burgers and dogs?"
Rarely has this approach resulted in a problem. If it does, we're probably not socially compatible anyway!
The twist in our case it that we have the money. And the reason we have the money is due to a lifetime of thrift. We've chosen not to spend it that way.
"That's not in our budget right now, but how 'bout getting together next Saturday afternoon and BBQing together?"
Or whatever - something like that. If they push for more detail, they're out of line. Just reiterate, "We've revamped our budget lately and that doesn't fit into it - but let's get together and do (fill in the blank)!"
Hubby and I have had some large unexpected expenses come up and are revamping our budget very carefully. We have friends and family who sometimes suggest going out to eat or to expensive events that just aren’t in our budget right now. What are some good phrases to use to say “that’s too expensive” without revealing our financial challenges or sounding like we’re constantly poor-mouthing everything?
I feel sorry for you that your friends, let alone your family. would think less of you if you told them the truth.
I am pretty sure your people have had to tighten their budgets some time or other too.
"Thanks for inviting us but we aren't able to go this time. Maybe next time".
Make sure you include entertainment in your new budget. You have to take care of your emotional self too.
Thank you all for the fantastic ways to deal with this issue. The aunt is the one who usually suggests the dining out activities. She hates cooking, hates eating in her cramped beach apartment with no air conditioning, hates driving the 1-1/2 hours to our place, and has the money to dine out. But it’s easy for her to eat out when she’s only paying for herself. There’s 4 of us—a much more expensive proposition. And we usually feel obligated to pick up her meal too, so now we’re paying for 5 meals. That’s $125...for breakfast. No thanks. Our kids were staying the weekend at her house, so she suggested we all get together for breakfast the morning we were supposed to pick them up. I told her we were going to pass as we wanted to sleep in, go to mass, and enjoy our time without the kids. All true.
That said, I think all of you are right—there’s no shame in saying that $125 breakfast (or lunch or dinner) isn’t in the budget. On the contrary, its actually ridiculous for her or anyone else to think that’s a reasonable (or fiscally responsible) expense.
In this particular case, and not necessarily any other case, I'd say "only if you are paying, aunt cheapo. We paid the last five times."
I've got to say, she's got all your kids for the weekend and I don't think it is out of line for you to take her out for breakfast, as a sort of thank you. However, you could reply that you'd love to brunch with her and that you will bring some nice breakfast pastries, some orange juice for the kids, and a half pound of some specialty coffee
She's at the beach. Is there no picnic area to eat your pastries and enjoy the view?
Unless you plan to pay my bills, I owe you no explanation about how I got those bills. I would tell her "are you volunteering to pay my bills?... No... then MYOB!" (mind your own business!)
Unless you plan to pay my bills, I owe you no explanation about how I got those bills. I would tell her "are you volunteering to pay my bills?... No... then MYOB!" (mind your own business!)
I have a feeling you don't speak to people like that.
You’ve had a lot of good suggestions. I might add something like, “We’re revamping our budget and, for now, dining out and concerts are where we have chosen to cut back.”
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
