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In this particular case, and not necessarily any other case, I'd say "only if you are paying, aunt cheapo. We paid the last five times."
I've got to say, she's got all your kids for the weekend and I don't think it is out of line for you to take her out for breakfast, as a sort of thank you. However, you could reply that you'd love to brunch with her and that you will bring some nice breakfast pastries, some orange juice for the kids, and a half pound of some specialty coffee
She's at the beach. Is there no picnic area to eat your pastries and enjoy the view?
My aunt asked to have the kids for the weekend because she hadn’t seen them in awhile. We had already taken her and my sister out to brunch 2 weeks earlier for their birthdays. She lives in a tiny apartment 3 blocks away from the beach. It’s an odd little interior duplex, very close to other similar duplexes, but with no balcony or patio because of the way it’s situated in an alley. Eating outside isn’t an option unless we walk everything over to the small park 5 blocks away, where there’s no available parking on an average day because it’s taken up by residents and beach goers. This is one of the reasons she prefers to dine out.
I always say to people who want me to this or that, "well, that's not compatible with my plans right now" and if they get pushy about it, I smile gently, rise and leave the room..... and perhaps do not return to that place, or that situation or those people for quite awhile. I am under no obligation to explain myself and what i see as best for me, to other people.
I say "I can't afford it" in a mature way. I'm an adult and I'm not going to pout because my friends choose an activity that's costs more than I can spend.
My aunt asked to have the kids for the weekend because she hadn’t seen them in awhile. We had already taken her and my sister out to brunch 2 weeks earlier for their birthdays. She lives in a tiny apartment 3 blocks away from the beach. It’s an odd little interior duplex, very close to other similar duplexes, but with no balcony or patio because of the way it’s situated in an alley. Eating outside isn’t an option unless we walk everything over to the small park 5 blocks away, where there’s no available parking on an average day because it’s taken up by residents and beach goers. This is one of the reasons she prefers to dine out.
Understandable. That means she gets to pay. Otherwise, walk 5 blocks to the park.
I say "I can't afford it" in a mature way. I'm an adult and I'm not going to pout because my friends choose an activity that's costs more than I can spend.
Interesting interpretation. I don’t recall saying anything that inferred “pouting.”
Thank you all. These are great suggestions! Offering to have them over for a meal is a good idea.
Yes, I have one family member in particular who asks pointed personal questions. It seems everybody has one of those in their family, don’t they? I don’t want to unintentionally invite those questions if I can head them off at the pass with a few good neutral responses. Although I have no problem with ultimately saying some version of “that’s none of your business,” I’d rather start with something less antagonist. Most people in my world accept the first answer and don’t push. It’s just this one family member that I’ve repeatedly had to establish very firm boundaries with over the years.
My favorite one to shoot down personal questions (thank you Dear Abby) that are none of their business is this: "Now why would you ask such a personal question".
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