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YES! He absolutely does not deserve to be ghosted and cut off without explanation or made to feel bad.
I'm not sure I understand the OP's reluctance to meet or continue the relationship completely... it seems like she has liked this person well enough to spend a lot of hours having very personal conversations, I'm not sure why it's out of the question now, but if it's over, it's now not without consequence for him, and she has led him on and allowed him to make plans that cost money. Be fair to him. Don't jerk him around any more. He's not some imaginary creation, he's a real person and he hasn't done anything wrong that I've seen.
Because after getting insight on here, it seems like he's an incel and might be weird. I don't know. A lot of the comments on here had the same consensus.
Because after getting insight on here, it seems like he's an incel and might be weird. I don't know. A lot of the comments on here had the same consensus.
Well, we don't really know. Some of that is speculation. You're the only one in direct communication with him. But you said today, that reflecting on the conversations, there were conversations about sex. Now that IS weird, and inappropriate, really. Almost as if he was getting off on talking about sex with you, even if it didn't involve you. That's skeevy. I can't imagine why you continued talking with him at all, except you said you didn't care? You wrote his side of the conversation off, some of the time?
OP, you've been ignoring red flags. Please don't do that anymore, in your interactions with guys. It opens you up to weirdness. He was testing your boundaries, is what he was doing there, and you indicated, by ignoring his side of the convo, that you had no boundaries, Until he tried dirty talk with you, and there you drew a line. Can you see how your silence with his talk about sex on dates led him to think he could get away with dirty talk? That's how this escalated. You allowed it, up to a point.
No mature, self-respecting guy--who also respects YOU--will engage in that sort of intimate talk unless he's setting something up. Any guy who does this, along with the other manipulative crap he's tried, is an opportunist.
He's too eager, and if he were really getting all the sex he claimed he wouldn't be calling one woman every day and pushing to come visit her. Guarantee you'd be weirded out by his true persona.
I recall a story of a younger girl, high school age, who had a long distance phone or internet relationship with some guy (this may've been in the early days or even before the web). He was invited to finally come out and meet, with the mom's approval, and accompany the girl and a friend to a concert. Well...as it turned out he was extremely weird, withdrawn, and nothing at all like she'd thought. She and the friend made the unfortunate decision to distance themselves and hang out with other friends at the concert, later being driven home by the girl's mother with their long distance weird friend, wondering how they'd get through the next few uncomfortable days.
Well, he'd been silently and greatly offended at their reaction to him, and you can guess how things ended once they arrived home and everyone was tucked into bed.
There are good people in the world, sure. But trust your gut, not the random guy with the witty one-liners and the smiley emotes who chats you up every day. Just the fact that this clown has the time to do that should send up smoke signals.
She told him it was cool to come and they talk on the phone every day for months. Who talks on the phone to someone who wants to date them everyday for months? This is not all on him.
Good move though OP. Glad we could help you open your eyes. I just hope he doesn't have a way to easily find you. Not saying he would or anything but I'd keep my eyes open and be aware of my surroundings the next couple months. Carry some pepper spray. Ok, maybe I've been watching too many first 48 type shows lately.
Good move though OP. Glad we could help you open your eyes. I just hope he doesn't have a way to easily find you. Not saying he would or anything but I'd keep my eyes open and be aware of my surroundings the next couple months. Carry some pepper spray. Ok, maybe I've been watching too many first 48 type shows lately.
As have I, hence my paranoia regarding this entire thing.
I’ve never made a friend online that carried on offline so I’m finding it weird.
For what it's worth...I have a lot of friends that started online, and it turned in to real life friendships. I used to be on a St. Louis centric forum, and several of us became friends, and we had picnics and such.
As a matter of fact, one of those friends was in town yesterday, and she and I had lunch together.
It seems in your case though, that this guy is trying to go for 'a relationship' and you're not interested in that. If it were me, I'd 'check him' and verbally make it very clear that you are ONLY interested in the friendship, NOT relationship. And if the 2 of you go do anything, it's out in public and such.
If he is agreeable to that, than try and relax, and have fun.
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