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I can't help but feel that giving birth and popping are not quite the same...
I've given birth four times and my husband was present for each one. I've pooped many, many, many more times than that and I don't think my husband has ever been in the room with me...I don't even like him talking to me through the door.
Of course not, one, a baby comes out, the other a turd. Well during the teenage years one might see them as the same.
Same concept tho, for most people its rather personal, its kind of gross, your somewhat in compromising positions, your bottom half is exposed, and in childbirth you usually poop too so it kind of overlaps.
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
2,365 posts, read 2,150,243 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares
What now?
Child birth is a bodily function not a family event. Just like pooping. its also a medical procedure, like a colonoscopy or vasectomy. Its invasive, like a pelvic exam, its painful like pancreatitis. None of which warrants and audience, invitations nor hors d'oeuvors. Its not an event like a birthday, wedding, anniversary, graduation or reunion.
And yes, the actual labor and delivery, known as birth is very much all about the mother. A person can be a part of that that new life once it is actually born into the world, cleaned up and presented. We celebrate a couples marriage by attending the wedding and reception but it doesn't me we need to be present at the consummation.
Anyway, to each their own but inviting ones self at all is rude and to invite oneself to a anothers bodily function/medical procedure is creepy.
I think its creepy that birthing is the equivalent of 'a nasty fart' in some people's minds. Something disgusting and to be hidden at all costs. Such an archaic Victorian notion.
Many cultures don't have this totally impersonal approach to future family, and it is a family event. Those people tend to have very close families, and value for the relationships within those families. Some people don't view birth as a medical procedure, lol. Some Moms actually prefer to birth at home without a doctor present. They don't kick everyone out of the house either.
Future mothers can do what they want, but if grandpa is closer to a child they were included in more of the reception of than they are a child they were excluded from, this totally embarrassed at being pregnant Mom shouldn't wonder why.
If the birth is a C-section then yeah, its a medical procedure and the less people present the safer, but no one mentioned a C-section, and I would not assume every birth is done that way just so the doctor doesn't miss his T-off at noon.
It's rude for family to be interested in participating? okey dokey then...
I think its creepy that birthing is the equivalent of 'a nasty fart' in some people's minds. Something disgusting and to be hidden at all costs.
I think this is a little over-the-top.
Who said it is to be hidden at all costs? This was about the father, specifically...and not just the father being there, but rather, that the father has asked, uninvited, to be there. And what people thought of that.
Many people have spoken of whom they WOULD be comfortable having in the delivery room.
I have 2 daughters and cannot imagine my husband asking either one if they'd be OK with him in the delivery room, so I have to vote creepy. They wouldn't ask and he won't want to be there. Even as the mom, I don't want to be there either. Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I think it's a time for my daughter and her husband to share privately.
Don't get me wrong. I will be lurking right outside to snatch up that grandbaby as soon as possible.
I think its creepy that birthing is the equivalent of 'a nasty fart' in some people's minds. Something disgusting and to be hidden at all costs. Such an archaic Victorian notion.
Many cultures don't have this totally impersonal approach to future family, and it is a family event. Those people tend to have very close families, and value for the relationships within those families. Some people don't view birth as a medical procedure, lol. Some Moms actually prefer to birth at home without a doctor present. They don't kick everyone out of the house either.
Future mothers can do what they want, but if grandpa is closer to a child they were included in more of the reception of than they are a child they were excluded from, this totally embarrassed at being pregnant Mom shouldn't wonder why.
If the birth is a C-section then yeah, its a medical procedure and the less people present the safer, but no one mentioned a C-section, and I would not assume every birth is done that way just so the doctor doesn't miss his T-off at noon.
It's rude for family to be interested in participating? okey dokey then...
No one said its something to be hidden at all cost. But yeah, IMO birthing is gross, there is blood and poop and body fluids. Pushing, and straining, and screaming. And lets face it the positions, facial expressions, sounds, pain and exposure of genitalia, not on its best day, isnt a pretty sight. And there is always that chance of some complication with the mother or child. How great is it to be in the OR when the baby's heart stops or it stops breathing or the cord is wrapped around its neck, or they have to bring out the forceps or cut the worlds biggest episiotomy?
Sorry but one does not need to be present in the delivery room have a close personal relationship with a future family member nor does one have to be present in the delivery room to have value to a family. Im sure I would not be any closer to my brother/sister, nieces/nephews, cousins and grandkids if I had been front and center at delivery.
Perhaps the entire family should be present at conception so they will have a closer relationship with the future family member. Intercourse is nothing to hide and be ashamed of right. Or perhaps some things are just naturally more private than others, like sex, pooping, and childbirth.
BTW What culture is it that the entire family gathers to watch the birth?
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
2,365 posts, read 2,150,243 times
Reputation: 3814
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
I think this is a little over-the-top.
Who said it is to be hidden at all costs? This was about the father, specifically...and not just the father being there, but rather, that the father has asked, uninvited, to be there. And what people thought of that.
Many people have spoken of whom they WOULD be comfortable having in the delivery room.
So I am not seeing what you're seeing, here.
You have a right not to see. Just as I have a right not to see why anyone would consider a man who probably has seen a daughter's vagina and poop since the day they were born, via the diaper change and bathing, suddenly 'creepy' to ask to be present at the birth. I think it might be telling - but not creepy - for him to want to be present at a neighbor's child's birth.
I don't care what 'many people' say. Many people say lots of selfish, stupid and sometimes harmful to the family dynamic things all the time.
To me, which this is the opinion that I also have a right to, its silly to categorize someone's father as a creep over a natural phenomenon that men have been a part of in many cultures since the dawn of time.
You don't agree with me? Fine. We have heard how you follow the lead of 'many people'. It's okay. You are allowed.
I haven't called something creepy since I was 12. How old is this expectant Mom anyway?
Last edited by ConeyGirl52; 05-27-2016 at 03:01 PM..
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
2,365 posts, read 2,150,243 times
Reputation: 3814
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares
BTW What culture is it that the entire family gathers to watch the birth?
You can google any topics you are interested in learning about. Google is your friend.
One of my favorite birthing traditions is done by the Huichol people of Mexico. The family is gathered around. The husband stands over his wife with a string tied to his testicles and extending to both of his wife's hands. As she feels pain, she can (doesn't have too) tug on the strings, which allows him to experience at least some of what she is going through at that moment. She knows not to tug too hard, of course.
I'm not sure many men of western culture would be interested in participation on that level though, lol.
You have a right not to see. Just as I have a right not to see why anyone would consider a man who probably has seen a daughter's vagina and poop since the day they were born, via the diaper change and bathing, suddenly 'creepy' to ask to be present at the birth. I think it might be telling - but not creepy - for him to want to be present at a neighbor's child's birth.
I don't care what 'many people' say. Many people say lots of selfish, stupid and sometimes harmful to the family dynamic things all the time.
To me, which this is the opinion that I also have a right to, its silly to categorize someone's father as a creep over a natural phenomenon that men have been a part of in many cultures since the dawn of time.
You don't agree with me? Fine. We have heard how you follow the lead of 'many people'. It's okay. You are allowed.
I haven't called something creepy since I was 12. How old is this expectant Mom anyway?
The "many people say" had nothing to do with majority rules, it was pointing to your claiming people said things they didn't actually say. (As shown on this very thread, actually.) You are inventing your own outrage, basically...rather than reading the actual posts. So yes, you needed a correction there.
"Following the lead of many people"...LOLOL! I was *actually reading* what people *actually wrote*, not "following" anyone (what the what? Such a weird statement and out of left field).
Hmm, you certainly seem to get freaked that people have opinions that don't match yours. Freaked out enough that you're not even able to follow the conversation and are inventing things to support your anger that people just won't follow YOUR lead. Calm down. If you do, you'll be able to understand the conversation and contribute logically.
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
2,365 posts, read 2,150,243 times
Reputation: 3814
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
The "many people say" had nothing to do with majority rules, it was pointing to your claiming people said things they didn't actually say. (As shown on this very thread, actually.) You are inventing your own outrage, basically...rather than reading the actual posts. So yes, you needed a correction there.
Hmm, you certainly seem to get freaked that people have opinions that don't match yours. Calm down.
Lol, I'm not outraged. Its interesting you should claim that I am outraged just because I don't share your viewpoint. Well - not interesting, but it could be typical of some people.
Do you treat everyone who doesn't say, "yes, I agree!" in this same accusatory manner?
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Calm down. 
