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Good to see the WSJ publishing important pieces like that one.
Here's a story: I have a friend I went to HS with who was facebook friends with another girl in our grade. They weren't good friends but they at least knew who the other was and talked a few times. Some months after graduation, he happened to notice that one day she defriended him. This distressed him greatly for maybe a millisecond and then went on about his normal life not caring that a person he rarely talked to defriended him.
Would I be a bit upset if someone I'm ACTUALLY good friends with in real life defriended me for no reason? Sure. Would I care if, say, girl XYZ from high school who I haven't spoken to since graduation and who I only keep on Facebook for the occasional look-see through her photos defriended me? Nope.
And likewise, I've done that with people I really have no connection with apart from having sat next to 'em in some class.
Just recently a classmate I added when was in university apparently not just unfriended but blocked me because I made one half-jokingly sarcastic comment pretending to "be offended" on a satirical video she posted about people of a certain occupation/lifestyle.
I noticed because she disappeared from my list, and suddenly became unsearchable only a few minutes after I made the comment.
She didn't even messaged me to ask why she thought the comment was inappropriate or anything, but just blocked me right afterwards! I mean, she could of at least said something.
That article makes a good point. If your way of letting someone know you don't like them is to hide behind the delete button like a coward, then you're a coward. Before facebook people had to unfriend the real way. I've said it before and I will say it again: as much as I like computers, they've made people weak because you can click a button instead of facing your issues in person.
Its things like this that is creating the downfall of society because as our survival as a species depends more on our trust of one another, than of the machines on which we increasingly rely. As we cocoon ourselves in the comforts that our expanding technology affords, are we insulating ourselves from the very things that make us human? With Facebook its only the beginning.
Just recently a classmate I added when was in university apparently not just unfriended but blocked me because I made one half-jokingly sarcastic comment pretending to "be offended" on a satirical video she posted about people of a certain occupation/lifestyle.
I noticed because she disappeared from my list, and suddenly became unsearchable only a few minutes after I made the comment.
She didn't even messaged me to ask why she thought the comment was inappropriate or anything, but just blocked me right afterwards! I mean, she could of at least said something.
If I remember correctly, you're around 30. Such immature behavior on her part. Blocking someone for jokingly saying they're offended? She needs to grow up big time. If anything, it was funny that you pretended to be offended.
Besides, if the video was a satire, it was supposed to be a joke anyway. What's so bad about leaving a joke comment on a joke video? She shouldn't make a joke if she can't take a joke.
Last edited by city_data91; 01-31-2011 at 05:09 PM..
If I remember correctly, you're around 30. Such immature behavior on her part. Blocking someone for jokingly saying they're offended? She needs to grow up big time. If anything, it was funny that you pretended to be offended.
Besides, if the video was a satire, it was supposed to be a joke anyway. What's so bad about leaving a joke comment on a joke video? She shouldn't make a joke if she can't take a joke.
I'm not quite there yet -- I'm still in my 20s. We would be roughly the same age, I'd guess. We weren't really close friends, moreso classmates who ran into each other on campus and had some conversation occasionally.
So it was more of the attitude that surprised me -- if you would block a person in response to a single comment of four or five sentences that wasn't even a personal attack*. without messaging back to complain or comment why, why bother to friend me in the first place (I know lots of people friend as many of their old classmates as possible and keep in touch for the sake of it so they're not taken as seriously; nonetheless I still can't relate to her behaviour).
*(It was not really a political or controversial statement anyways, more like "Hey! I find your video incredibly distasteful! It mocks people who contribute great value to society! blah blah blah " -- though I don't have the original comment now obviously)
That article makes a good point. If your way of letting someone know you don't like them is to hide behind the delete button like a coward, then you're a coward. Before facebook people had to unfriend the real way. I've said it before and I will say it again: as much as I like computers, they've made people weak because you can click a button instead of facing your issues in person.
The other side of the coin: before Facebook, people had to earn friendships in person, put in real effort to go out and keep in touch, not make a "friend" with the click of a button.
There's not really any equivalent of "unfriending" in real life. People go their different ways, or the friendship ends with a huge argument, or both parties just know it's not a friendship worth maintaining. Facebook friendships, especially when you've got a friend list in the hundreds, are much more superficial. If you don't know the person that well, it's awkward to go and tell them "Hey, I'm deleting you", because it might very well come off as "I don't like you", no matter what reason you give. "I just want to keep my friend list down" could be heard as "I'm not good enough to make the cut", and both people end up feeling weird. People delete for reasons other than simply not liking them.
If you are real friends - offline and on - then it's a different story, and it would be considerate to let them know why you are pruning them from your list. But seriously, do you really have 1000 "real friends"?
So "unfriend" is the word of the year. I noticed that people have been unfriending each other like crazy lately. Other than a personal relationship gone bad, why would somebody unfriend people on their contacts list? Respectful answers only please!
The only times I unfriend people is when I know that I won't be able to really keep in touch in the future. Case in point. I was dating this girl a year ago and I friended her on facebook. Eventually she said she wasn't interested in a relationship, but I kept her on, just because I'm lazy about it. We hadn't talked for 8 months, and I just didn't see an occaision where I'd keep in touch with her, so I unfriended her. No hard feelings, though.
I just got deleted by someone that I thought was my friend
We still have mutual friends, so I doubt he was doing a mass deletion.
Maybe it was somehow a mistake and he meant to delete someone else
But if he truly meant to delete me, I wonder why
Dude, you really need to get a hobby. There was some woman in the UK who had around 1100 friends on her facebook site. She posted a suicide bulletin, and not ONE of her 1100 facebook friends helped her. They left her to die, and some even mocked her on her status thingy. That goes to show that most people who are say that they are your "friend" aren't really your friend at all.
I have less than 5 people on my facebook site that I can actually say would help me if I were down & out (not counting family). The rest of the people on my list, I wouldn't even notice if they were gone, in fact the way I look at it is its one less a**hole who has my contact info, cuz they'll only contact me if they need or want something.
The other side of the coin: before Facebook, people had to earn friendships in person, put in real effort to go out and keep in touch, not make a "friend" with the click of a button.
There's not really any equivalent of "unfriending" in real life.
Exactly. There is no real-life equivalent of just adding someone as a friend. A real friend is someone who helps you move or lends you $50 if you need it. Somebody who sat next to you in class a few years ago is not a real friend. Your cousin's next-door neighbor's dog groomer is not a real friend.
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" -- though I don't have the original comment now obviously)
