Why do people think that Northern Virginia is so unfriendly? (Gainesville: transplants, house)

[waltlantz]

Bah, the 4 county NoVa heart is borderland. We are not quite concrete jungle north, nor are we moonlight and magnolia/tobacco road south.

We are in the middle, and I like it, so many different peoples from north south and beyond. We have all the cosmopoltanism of the North, with the historical decorum of the south

example; Old Town Alexandria aint southern in culture anymore but did a hell of a job maintaining old houses and buildings

of course we prolly are more north thatn south in mentality anymore but quite frankly I think few people are really concerned about that

which why I think Mid-Atlantic works better as a marker for this area and not NY or PA, those places are Northeast geographically.


Anyways, the whole nice/mean thing is kinda overrated and depends on the individual. Im a NoVa kid but go to school in Ohio, I adress pepole in a much more formal way than most of my peers and one receptionist said "Must be those Southern manners" when I said I am from NoVa.

I respect people who maintain Southern pride and heritage, but my family and all my peers aren't southern in mentality nor origin. Still I consider ourselves friendy and polite so it all varies.

[SteelCityRising]

Considering I just moved to Reston a couple of days ago from Scranton/Wilkes-Barre, PA I would have to give people here an "average" grade for friendliness. It all depends upon whatever particular circumstances you are in I suppose. For example I was in the Spectrum Harris Teeter yesterday to buy some Vitamin Water, and two employees at the check-out counter were very rude to me, apparently frustrated that I was having difficulty understanding their limited grasp of the English language. People were practically shoving each other over, and I didn't hear one single "excuse me" from people who bumped into me. Also yesterday I decided to explore the Galleria at Tyson's and had a wonderful conversation with a little old lady who worked at a small kitchen store on the middle floor (I forget the name, but I think it was something like Le Sure Table?) She was absolutely phenomenal, and I think later on today I will fire off an e-mail or a phone call to the management of that store to commend her.

One thing that surprised me was the presence of televisions at your gas pumps. In PA it was not uncommon for people to chit-chat at the pumps, but here everyone gets out of their SUVs and stare like zombies at the screen while they pump. I'd have to say that people in NoVA, overall, are polite but in an obvious hurry for some reason or other. I'll retract the compliment I gave last week about the very high presence of turn signal usage, as that particular visit of mine must have been a fluke. Since I've been down here I'll now say only roughly 75% of people use their blinkers while driving, which really TICKS ME OFF! I've blared my horn already at people who merge closely in front of me witohut signaling, and I will continue to do so. There's just NO reason NOT to use your blinker unless you're an idiot.

Last night while visiting another apartment complex near the Reston Town Center I mistakenly knocked on the wrong door in search of a friend's place, and the occupant who answered the door was very friendly, trying to help get me to the right direction.

Overall it's not such a bad area. People need to STOP BEING IN SUCH A DAMN RUSH, but otherwise everyone thus far with a few exceptions has been positive towards my initial social advacnes.

[michgc]

The store is Sur La Table. I hate when people don't use turn signals, too. Ugh!

[yamota]

it's a dog eat dog world out there

[mapnova]

There are many actually. They aren't in enclaves like up North. All mixed in...

[The Innkeeper]

Originally Posted by Richmonder27

Well, I dont consider DC Northern Virginia. Its DC.


Well, I dont know. Northern Virginia has changed so much. When I grew up there in the 80s and 90s, it was still slightly Southern, if not at least polite. I grew up in Loudoun County, though.

I dont know about Fairfax. DC was always across the river in another state, and I never gave it much thought


I have to say that Northern Virginia drivers are actually more polite than other areas I have been to. Its because they're used to sitting in traffic all day. I have my horn honked more here in Richmond at me than in Northern Virginia.

Richmond has hardly any "rush hour". Its almost a joke compared to how bad it is in Northern Virginia.

Above spoken like a true "Northern Virginian" ...lol. Point of this fourm.....proven.


I've lived in the Washington, DC area to include MD, DC and NORTHERN VA for over 30 years ...you can't seperate the the area by state, county or river...It's all the same! Unless you go out into the western/southern part of Virginia farm land, or the Western panhandle of Md & Eastern MD Shore! (Ofcourse Richmond is not included!)

Ive also lived short stints in the south to include NC, SC, and GA out west in Colorado and to top it off to the north in the great states of PA, and MA.

Everyone is entitled to thier opinion, but to me not only does the term "mixing bowl" apply to the 495/95/295 (and all the other roads I've left out) ...but it also applies to the people in the area. Now mix in a dash of "city life" (Granted it's no "LA, New York or Chicago" just dont tell the people around here that! But, the people who live here should have pride. It's an area that is built on the history & heritage of this nation ....which in my opinion has gone to pot...If I was in politics I'd be ashamed to host one of the founding fathers for dinner..but that's for another thread) and PRESTO! There you have it! People who come from all over the world, typically work or business related, but they are from different walks of life with different cultures, values, beliefs, religions, taste, you name it ..all trying to coinside together! Tempers can flare as some but not all people struggle with terms such understanding and acceptance of something they are not familliar with..... the cultures of others...after all we are human and it is just in our nature. Again, add in the fast pace and demands of city jobs and life...can we say stress??

I would love to be an optimist and say that this reminds me of what I was taught by a professor in a business class in college.."One bad complaint will be heard a million miles away but a good one will fall on deaf ears" That this might be a case with the people in this area ...that the few speak for the many.

But yet again I'm reminded by my own husband, who becomes someone else each morning when he steps out the door of our home and sits in 4+ hours of traffic a day then spends the day with people that are just as angry and agitated as him. He is exposed to the same "mixing bowl" way of life.

Point being ...Where you live and the way of life of and area affects the attitudes of the people around you, there is no defending it and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out! Faster pace = higher stress... slower pace = lower stress.

It's up to you to decide...Where would you be less friendly????

[spencgr]

boy, I love it when someone's very first post is in response to a thread that is multiple years old.

[kevbros]

Originally Posted by Fairfax Mom

Boy - we are getting repetitive here - I find the people in NY/NJ/PA to be much friendler - little things - like - if you are standing on-line in a grocery store - most likely the person next to you will start a little conversation - just quick and casual whereas here in VA you will get nothing - which - I can undersand that busy, stressed people may like.

I really think people are more stressed here than in NYC!

"On-line?". What a giveaway!

[BOS2IAD]

My husband and I were born and raised in MA. We moved to NoVA 30 years ago so that he could take a govt. job. So, here's my two cents on this topic.

In MA, I was used to store clerks not saying "thank you" or even smiling when dealing with customers. However, in day to day life, we made more lasting connections with people. In the suburban town I grew up in, the neighbors all knew each other and often socialized. As an adult, I found it easy to make friends and often had people come to our home for dinner and we got invites to their homes.

When we moved to NoVA, I was surprised to find friendly store clerks who said "thank you" when you made a purchase. Plus, if they weren't busy, would often engage in small talk. This is still par for the course. However, we've found it very hard to connect with people and make lasting friendships. I'm shy by nature so I know that factors into things.

Many times, I would meet someone, we would become friends and then they would move away. This area is more transient than some parts of the country. When our daughter was growing up, we got to know the parents of her friends but even then, people didn't seem to be interested in developing deeper connections. I worked part-time while she was growing up and did connect with co-workers and got invited to some of their family events like weddings. Sometimes, we would do lunch on days off. Again, it was tough to make long-term connections as people often moved away.

Before our daughter was born, I worked in DC. My co-workers were spread out far and wide. Some lived in DC, others lived in the MD 'burbs and some, like me, were in the NoVA burbs. Due to that, I think it put a damper on trying to get together on weekends.

When our daughter was born, I think it really hit home for me that it was the first time in my life when I really had to work hard to make connections. I signed up for Mommy and Me classes which was a tremendous help.

Fast forward to today. In the time we've been here the DC area has experienced changing demographics. We have a large number of immigrants. Most of my neighbors are immigrants---and are wonderful people and I'm glad that they are my neighbors as they take care of their property and never cause any problems. I would hate to have any of them move away. However, for some of them, their English is limited so communication is very rudimentary. And that's too bad---as I'm sure that they, too, would love to connect better.

Through the years, I've discovered that I'm not alone in feeling this way about the DC area. There are many people who feel disconnected (again, not all of them by any means). I've read articles where people say that they have so few friends that they worry about saying or doing something that would cause the friendship to end.

So...just my take on things.

[yamota]

there's just so many people here now, it's just too damn exhausting to be friendly to everyone