Why do people think that Northern Virginia is so unfriendly? (Fairfax: live in, store)

[Richmonder27]

I grew up in Loudoun, and I think that Northern Virginia in terms of friendliness is just about average with the rest of the nation. Its not great, its not horrible either. I find places such as New England and The Northeast cities a lot worse !

If you compare Northern Virginia to Southern or Central Virginia or Shenandoah Valley especially, it may seem a lot less friendly. But I hardly think its the least friendly place in the world.

I have been to Atlanta and it was about like Northern Virginia in terms of friendliness. Maybe its changed a lot since I have lived there.

[Legs1357]

Just having moved from Atlanta, I would say that you're right, they're pretty much the same. It seems just about average....not every single person you see in public waves but you don't feel like everyone is glaring and judging. Also for comparison reasons, Denver is pretty much the same as well.

[oleo]

Because they can't understand that a more dense population = more traffic on the road = more irritation and headache = better planning and more organization = more structured daily activities = no time for bullsheet

[Richmonder27]

Originally Posted by oleo

Because they can't understand that a more dense population = more traffic on the road = more irritation and headache = better planning and more organization = more structured daily activities = no time for bullsheet

Loudoun has hardly any "dense" population at all. In fact, there are more horses than people in some places !

[540_804]

I think its all relative.
How do you quantify "friendliness."

It has as much to do with the people who live in NoVA as much as from which perspective those people are viewed.

For instance, where I grew up, if you cut someone off in traffic, thats pretty rude, almost to a personal level. Many would almost question your character as a human being based on driving etiquette..

I drove through DC once and got cut off so many times it almost made my head spin. At first I thought, "Wow, what a bunch of douchebags"...but you quickly realize that its just "part of the game" and there's nothing personal about it.

Which brings me back to my original point: something I view as rude, coming from a more laid-back, southern area, is not considered rude by other standards; to them its just considered life. LOL

The pace of life is just so different. I thoroughly enjoy DC and the entire metro area, but only in visiting. I prefer a more laid-back southern vibe....

[Fairfax Mom]

Boy - we are getting repetitive here - I find the people in NY/NJ/PA to be much friendler - little things - like - if you are standing on-line in a grocery store - most likely the person next to you will start a little conversation - just quick and casual whereas here in VA you will get nothing - which - I can undersand that busy, stressed people may like.

I really think people are more stressed here than in NYC!

[JEB77]

Originally Posted by Fairfax Mom

Boy - we are getting repetitive here - I find the people in NY/NJ/PA to be much friendler - little things - like - if you are standing on-line in a grocery store - most likely the person next to you will start a little conversation - just quick and casual whereas here in VA you will get nothing - which - I can undersand that busy, stressed people may like.

I really think people are more stressed here than in NYC!

I'm sorry to break this to you, but they only act that way in NJ because they are afraid that, if they aren't nice to you, you'll have Tony or Vinnie whack them.

[Alicia Bradley]

I actually haven't noticed people in NoVA (or DC even, for that matter) being particularly unfriendly. The only people I've had any actual problems with are security thugs at gov't buildings. Oh, and public transportation workers - there have been a couple times when I've been afraid that one of them was going to beat me up because I've been standing in the wrong place or something equally trivial.

[Fairfax Mom]

Why are there no Italians in NOVA? Where do you hide them?

[themommy]

Originally Posted by Fairfax Mom

. . . if you are standing on-line in a grocery store - most likely the person next to you will start a little conversation - just quick and casual whereas here in VA you will get nothing - which - I can undersand that busy, stressed people may like.

Mr. Husband and I have both had smalltalk chats with people in line at the market and elsewhere. Not on every visit, of course, but when there's something to talk about, we talk about it. I have yet to run into an unfriendly supermarket line buddy. Are you initiating the conversations and being snubbed, or are you feeling snubbed because you're waiting for others to initiate the conversations and it just isn't happening?

I should know, but being new-ish to the forums, I'm afraid I'm not up on your backstory: How long have you lived here? And how long were you in your previous home?

Our family moved around a lot when I was young (Dad worked for the federal government), and one thing I quickly learned was that every place is different, and it takes time and a proactive attitude to adapt. And when I say different, I don't mean markedly different (although sometimes that's true); often the differences are subtle, but still important. The other thing I learned (after a long time fighting it) is that learning to behave like the locals doesn't make you any less "you". As a kid (and as an adult, too) you can be rigid and unhappy, or you can be flexible and think of the change as an adventure. After all those moves, I don't even think of it as changing my behavior anymore. I think of it as adding new interpersonal skills to my collection.