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While I do think it's a good idea to go after your career goals, going to college is not the only way to do so. In today's economy having a college degree does not guarantee a well paying job. You can plan all you want but it's not always going to work out the way that you think it will.
While I do think it's a good idea to go after your career goals, going to college is not the only way to do so. In today's economy having a college degree does not guarantee a well paying job. You can plan all you want but it's not always going to work out the way that you think it will.
ABSOLUTELY--I AGREE. I know some of my most successful friends NEVER went to college. They were just natural born go getters and many are great salespeople. College is DEFINITELY not the only way. I look at my education like insurance. I'm overly cautious. They seem to require a degree for SO many jobs out there and I just want to have a bigger spectrum of opportunities available to me in my field.
I haven't read any of the other responses, so sorry if this has been covered, but honestly I whether and when to have children (and under what financial circumstances) is a very personal decision. Many people (legitimately) decide to have children young to enable them to have the large family they always wanted and other people (legitimately) make sure they have their careers and finances on track before even thinking about it. I can't say that either approach is more "correct" and I don't think you are alone in your thinking either. Both approaches have their drawbacks and you really have to make your own decision and not worry too much about what other people are doing.
While we're on the topic, out of frank curiosity have any women on here given up a good paying career to have children and do the SAHM? If so, are you glad you did or would you have rather gone with daycare?
I sometimes wonder if women get really depressed when they give up a career and although I'm positive they love their children, I wonder if they feel limited or just overly thrilled.
I'm a lot like one of my girlfriends. If we're not working and making money, I feel like it jabs at us and we get pretty depressed. We're what some people call workaholics. She's pregnant right now and so depressed because she's high risk and cannot work. Forget the fact that her hubby makes 150k.
I've always felt like I have to plan to have kids because if I want to stay home that's a big loss of income and all these things go through my head:
How will I save for a house?
When will we be able to pay off the remainder of our student loans (small actually)?
When will I ever get to travel the world? (my lifelong dream)
How will I be able to afford going back and forth to the other side of the country every 6-12 months? (to visit my family, since they live there).
How will I save for my 3 kiddos college? (Yes, I want 3--and part of me thinks I just may have to tell them to be prepared to pay for their own).
After all the bills, health insurance, diapers, etc. are paid for--will I even be able to get my monthly upkeep stuff done? (ie. waxing, pedicures, etc.) I go to affordable places, btw and don't do it every other day, but it makes me feel better to keep myself up reasonably.
I just don't feel like there will be enough money. I know my guy will make enough for us to live comfortably, but I just think if it's only him working, we'll be 40 by the time we can afford to travel or buy a house.
I could do an entire excel worksheet and attach it to here for everyone to see how expensive life is without both parents working. I do love to work, but it's sad that in our country, it's so common to need both parents working if you really want to enjoy life.
I know some of my friends live down to the last $100 in their hubby's paychecks. They pay for everything and enjoy themselves reasonably, but they aren't saving worth a darn. I'm only 26 and already thinking about retirement. This country doesn't take care of us--I feel like I really need to stress taking care of myself.
No, I am not a stay-at-home mother. I am a work-mostly-from-home mother. I do think about quitting my job sometimes, but I don't think that would be a good idea for a few reasons.
First, I would feel guilty making my husband solely responsible for supporting us financially. I believe a homemaker's work is valuable but don't know if I could get past that burden. I admire people who want to do this and can make it work, though.
Second, living where we do would be difficult on one salary. Many people around here do have stay-at-home spouses (wives, usually), but they are more executive-types than mid-level professionals like we are.
For a while, we pursued the idea of his working up his current career path so that he would get to that executive level and be able to support the entire family in that way. We have realized, however, that he doesn't really enjoy the work he does and it's not something he wants to do until retirement. So we regard the work we do as "just for now," i.e., getting the kids through school, and then we may move and do something completely different.
Making it work doesn't mean they aren't struggling. I don't understand why you can't just admit that it's just smarter to wait until you are financially stable to start having kids. I highly doubt you or anyone on here would encourage your own daughters to get pregnant while they are still flipping burgers and would have to struggle to support their family. Most people want to live comfortably. Forget having kids...for most people it's hard to support just themselves with just a highschool diploma. By starting a family before you are able to support them you're pretty much setting yourself up for a difficult life when all you have to do is wait a couple of years then you and your family can live comfortably.
I really don't care what people do but I can understand why it's mind boggling to the OP to see people do things in not the smartest way, and then have those same people nag her about why she isn't doing it the same way. It's kind of like watching people run off a cliff and surviving it with serious injuries. Those same people ask you again and again why you won't jump of a cliff too as you're wondering why the hell anyone would ever do that. You might not care because you aren't the one getting the injuries so it has no effect on you, but you still might be standing there scratching you head thinking....huh?...and as more and more people start doing it you start to wonder if you're the weird one for not wanting to jump off the cliff too. (weird analogy but hopefully it gets the point across)
But we can agree to disagree. This thread has gotten old and I'm over it. Bye!
I am not saying it is not smarter to wait to be financially stable IF financial stability is something you are capable of attaining. However, some people will ALWAYS struggle. They will struggle at 20 and they will struggle at 40. Those people may still want children.
No, I am not a stay-at-home mother. I am a work-mostly-from-home mother. I do think about quitting my job sometimes, but I don't think that would be a good idea for a few reasons.
First, I would feel guilty making my husband solely responsible for supporting us financially. I believe a homemaker's work is valuable but don't know if I could get past that burden. I admire people who want to do this and can make it work, though.
Second, living where we do would be difficult on one salary. Many people around here do have stay-at-home spouses (wives, usually), but they are more executive-types than mid-level professionals like we are.
For a while, we pursued the idea of his working up his current career path so that he would get to that executive level and be able to support the entire family in that way. We have realized, however, that he doesn't really enjoy the work he does and it's not something he wants to do until retirement. So we regard the work we do as "just for now," i.e., getting the kids through school, and then we may move and do something completely different.
Working from home would be ideal. That's something I can live with.
Once my son was born everything changed immediately. I went from wanting to be a star to just wanting to be with my son and watch him grow up. Don't underestimate pregnancy and nursing hormones and bonding. They defy your intellectual self.
While we're on the topic, out of frank curiosity have any women on here given up a good paying career to have children and do the SAHM? If so, are you glad you did or would you have rather gone with daycare?
Well I did both. I have an MBA from U of CT and I worked on Wall Street. I had a nanny at home and worked this way until my kids were 6, 4, 1. After that we moved to FL.
When I moved to FL I worked PT from home (3 days a week). After 9/11 happened there were layoffs on Wall Street and someone like me became expendable. I was considered FT because I worked >30 hours per week.
After I was laid off my husband asked me not to return to work until my youngest was in kindergarten (he was 3 when I was laid off). I agreed and I was very worried that I would be miserable. I managed to be ok. My older guys were in school and my little one was in preschool 3 days a week so I had some time to myself. I also had friends who were home at the time.
After my youngest was in school FT I went back to work. My husband is an attorney and I did the book keeping for him on a part time basis. Now I am working less but I still work. I work more during the school year and less in the summer because the kids are home.
I did suffer a little bit of feeling "guilty" about not earning money when I stopped working. I never wanted to spend any money that was not necessary but my husband has helped me.
My husband makes enough money so that I do not have to work. We have insurance if something happens to him.
You simply cannot make these decisions until it is time to make them. You don't know how you will feel. I have plenty to do at home and I have friends. If you live somewhere where you will have no friends it can be hard to stay at home. It's also harder when your kids are really little. Mine are 17, 15, 12.
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