My son wants to wear girls clothes (orphaned, older, opinion)
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My 8 y/o son has a cousin about his age that is a girl. They were at her house recently and they were playing dress up.
I didn't think twice about that until a couple weeks later we were at Wal-Mart looking at boys clothes and he asked if he could look at girls clothes.
He said he just liked the way they looked and even was drawn to the girls underwear and socks.
I try to be open minded so next time we went and after a lengthy discussion I agreed he could get some girls socks and underwear since only he would know.
But that's were I drew the line since kids can be mean and I didn't want him going to school in a girls top.
Am I doing the right thing? I am a single mother and his father will see him about once a month, so he does have a male figure in his life. And if he grows up gay I will be disappointed, but I will still accept him just like I do now with this quirk that i hope he outgrows.
When I was five, six and seven, up until I was 13 years old, I so wanted to be a boy. I was the ugliest kid, tall and lanky....even combed my short hair like a boy. My mother always made me get it cut, b/c it was easy to take care of.
I never wanted dolls, or dresses, a tea set, more so, wanted jeans, horses, a football, baseball and bat...and played with all the boys in our neighborhood, cuz basically there were not girls except my sisters.
Don't worry, what will be will be regardless, and you will never love him any less...maybe you could sign him up for boy scouts or a soccer team or baseball team.....might do him good to have more male figures around him....
When I was five, six and seven, up until I was 13 years old, I so wanted to be a boy. I was the ugliest kid, tall and lanky....even combed my short hair like a boy. My mother always made me get it cut, b/c it was easy to take care of.
I never wanted dolls, or dresses, a tea set, more so, wanted jeans, horses, a football, baseball and bat...and played with all the boys in our neighborhood, cuz basically there were not girls except my sisters.
Don't worry, what will be will be regardless, and you will never love him any less...maybe you could sign him up for boy scouts or a soccer team or baseball team.....might do him good to have more male figures around him....
oh, by the way, I'm a woman and love who I am....
Always a good, informative, and thoughtful post.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rowan123
OP is from 2011. I wonder how her son is doing now.
Ok, I don't get it. I can see not letting him wear inappropriate clothes to school. But why can't he wear what he wants at home? What is this supposed relationship between clothes and being gay?
Zero relationship at all.
When I was younger, my mom would babysit my male cousin. He was very young. One day we wanted to go to the pool but he didn't have swim trunks, so my mom put him in my bathing suit. Did he know? No. Did he care? No. Did others care? Nope! He could've passed for a girl. Anyway, point is, did he grow up to be gay? No!
Clothes have nothing to do with being gay.
Another story- I was in the Barbie section of Target and a mom was with her son. He was going crazy over the Barbie's. Mom said she had Barbie's at home from when she was little so he liked playing with them. I'm pretty sure that boy isn't gay.
When my son was three.....he already defined himself. He knew I helped him get ready for bed after his bath time. I would wrap a towel over his wet head. One day he said....(rather sternly), 'Mom!! Don't make me a Queen!. I laughed so hard. I knew he meant it from seeing his cartoon shows ..how bugs bunny dressed to fool ppl.
Unlike this new weird parenting style of 'let the entity determine or change their mind all by the time they ten' so we can accept them as a he/she/it, and back again. . All the parent guided them into is confusion. I've not as an adult in a traditional relationship ever openly welcomed my bo saying...dear I think I'll wear your thongs and bra today. And I'd simply be okay with it. Nah, ain't going to happen. Nor have I wanted to wear their jockey wear and muscle tee.....
Sorry folks ....I'll stay with the feather group...and leave you chicken folks do you. (ps ..you have to know where that differential entree's comes).
When my son was three.....he already defined himself. He knew I helped him get ready for bed after his bath time. I would wrap a towel over his wet head. One day he said....(rather sternly), 'Mom!! Don't make me a Queen!. I laughed so hard. I knew he meant it from seeing his cartoon shows ..how bugs bunny dressed to fool ppl.
Unlike this new weird parenting style of 'let the entity determine or change their mind all by the time they ten' so we can accept them as a he/she/it, and back again. . All the parent guided them into is confusion. I've not as an adult in a traditional relationship ever openly welcomed my bo saying...dear I think I'll wear your thongs and bra today. And I'd simply be okay with it. Nah, ain't going to happen. Nor have I wanted to wear their jockey wear and muscle tee.....
Sorry folks ....I'll stay with the feather group...and leave you chicken folks do you. (ps ..you have to know where that differential entree's comes).
yeah, I'm with you and so glad I wasn't growing up in this time, I might have had a sex change if it had been left up to me....I cannot express in words how badly I wanted to be a boy....so....
A kid that young doesn't know what he/she wants to do or be....and if parents would just let it alone and let it work it's self out...it will, but to encourage it, I don't know, I think it's wrong. Embrace it as a childhood fantasy and go from there....once the child is out of school, maybe then, but IDK, I think back to when I graduated, I didn't even know what I wanted to do or be then....meaning career....kids are kids and are not mature enough to make those decisions, especially kids today who are so much more immature....
Don't let him wear girl's clothes. If he wants to wear skirts--well, maybe he can join a bagpipe band and wear kilts.
I don't know, I think when kids are little, the more you make out of something the more they want to....to simply ignore it, but not encourage it, most likely it will work itself out....
some people are gay, and that's all there is to it, but I don't believe a child, especially after knowing what I was like as a child, should have their parents automatically encourage the gay life....remember, we are taking on a huge responsibility as parents...and everything within reason....sometimes there is a fine/fragile line in between which could influence a child in the wrong direction, and I believe that would be best to keep in mind.
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Apparently she only made one post.
