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My son is an awesome funeral specialist, he arranges flowers, coordinates "parties" (wakes), fixes hair and make-up of the "guests of honor"...it is the perfect job for him, he loves it, and does awesome. He is currently working on his MBA while working full time as a funeral coordinator. Go figure it...and he is always busy.
To the original question, don't worry, cross dressing is a normal and healthy phase around that age. My sons all dabbled in it, said it wasn't fair that girls got to wear such cute clothes and boys clothes weren't as fun to wear. All normal.
If you make a big deal out of it or forbid it you will only be teaching your child to be self conscious and controlled by fear of others opinions which will last a lot longer than his cross dressing interest. A man who played dress up as a boy for a year won't be a big deal but a man who was brought up to fear public opinion, to conform to others ignorant rants and not stick up for himself could have worse problems down the road then wearing pink.
Don't raise a follower, we have to many of those already, raise a leader, someone who has learned the lessons of life for themselves and not from an over sensitive mom and a class full of bullies. My son wore pink shoes to school at 8yrs because he loved the color pink and I explained to him some might say something negative to him about it but it was still his choice to handle it or not. He chose to handle it for the sake of wearing his pink vans.
He just told anyone who made a comment to shove it, he loved pink and so did all the girls which made him more popular with the ladies. Good for him!
He was a pretty popular kid at school, did what he wanted and had a lot of friends because of it. Being brave is something he built up for himself over the years. You can't tell your child to worry about others and then tell them to be brave later after you already told them to be afraid. Doesn't work.
The next year he was over his girl clothing phase he moved on to other interests. The only thing that came of it was his great attitude and learning to stand up for something you want even if it's a bit scary to do so. I thought this was a better lesson than the one I could have taught him which was to be afraid of what people think of you and conform to their pressure.
Plus, if you act like your child can't handle situations you might as well tell them you don't think they can. If you over control your child then he or she take that as your lack of confidence in their ability to handle it themselves. Social decisions are not a parents to make, you can't, it is up to your child to make their own social decisions. You can't control that even if you try.
Last night Dr. Drew Pinksy had a boy on who has been living as a little girl for her entire life. She comes across as a very happy, healthy and confident girl. Here is a short description of the show and a link to the video of the interview.
Puberty is a time in life marked by many changes – physical, emotional, hormonal, and social.
The transition can be tumultuous and difficult ... not just for kids, but parents too, even under ideal circumstances.
Now, imagine if you had to choose between being a man or a woman. That's what Jazz and her parents are facing.
Jazz has lived as a girl for most of her young life ... and while the onset of puberty brings new challenges and choices, she's pretty confident about who she is and who she wants to be.
Hear Dr. Drew in the video clip, as he talks with Jazz and her mother about the transition. Jazz and her family share their story on "I Am Jazz: A Family in Transition" this Sunday on OWN.
Go to this link and scroll down to the story A Child In Transition.
Last night Dr. Drew Pinksy had a boy on who has been living as a little girl for her entire life. She comes across as a very happy, healthy and confident girl. Here is a short description of the show and a link to the video of the interview.
Puberty is a time in life marked by many changes – physical, emotional, hormonal, and social.
The transition can be tumultuous and difficult ... not just for kids, but parents too, even under ideal circumstances.
Now, imagine if you had to choose between being a man or a woman. That's what Jazz and her parents are facing.
Jazz has lived as a girl for most of her young life ... and while the onset of puberty brings new challenges and choices, she's pretty confident about who she is and who she wants to be.
Hear Dr. Drew in the video clip, as he talks with Jazz and her mother about the transition. Jazz and her family share their story on "I Am Jazz: A Family in Transition" this Sunday on OWN.
Go to this link and scroll down to the story A Child In Transition.
Ya, I saw this on 20/20. The lady has twin boys besides Jazz and they went through the painting their nails stage and dress up but also got out of it and continued liking being a boy just as my son did, just a normal phase but Jazz didn't do the same things. She said she was a girl, not wanted to be or liked the clothes or pretty nail colors but was suppose to be and there was a mistake to correct. Very different than this posters son I believe, he sounds normal, it's something else for this child. Something I'm sure none of us who don't walk in their shoes could understand. There is a lot we don't understand about humans, we are all just subject to experiences I guess. Poor thing, a lot of work ahead of him that's for sure. I feel for the parents, must be difficult to stand up to all they've heard I'm sure. They have two boys who like being boys though. It's just specific to this child.
For the poster:
My son never said he was suppose to be a girl, nor did he say he wanted a different private part. He just liked the pretty clothes and colors, he was jealous that only girls got that. I explained that while girls get cute things in pastel colors they also get periods, and have the babies. He wasn't willing to do that he said, he just liked to wear the skirts as a boy. lol A year later I couldn't make him wear a skirt if I tried and believe me his sisters had a fun time trying. He admired his older sisters clothing but nothing else. Pink is still one of his favorite colors though, that and lime green. Turned out to be quite the cute little surfer boy, very colorful. Plenty of girlfriends, but I wouldn't have cared if he'd been gay either. It's not my deal.
A few things need to be said here. It's normal. Many children go through these phases. Many many many children. They are playing and exploring. Most children that do this stop after a while and turn out to be heterosexuals. Some children turn out to be gay but not allowing a child to play dress up isn't going to 'prevent' them from being gay. A much smaller number are transgendered. There is a distinct difference, is your child identifying themselves as the opposite gender even after being explained what gender they are? You may want to take them to a psychiatrist. If you teach your child that being someone other than who they are is wrong, you have a lot more to worry about than teasing. You need to worry about depression and suicide. If you re concerned about teasing, perhaps explain that and convince them to dress gender appropriate outside the home until they get through those years but let them wear what they want at home. Can you imagine what it is like to be taught that the way you are is wrong (and your parents teachings at young ages tend tostick with you)? Do you want your child to be ashamed of and hate themselves? There is a reason many gay, lesbian,transgendered people are depressed and more likely to kill themselves when compared to the general population.
Here is the tldr version:
Its normal, don't worry about it. If your kid ruens out gay/lesbian/transgendered, accept them and don't try to change them because you can't and you will just make them ashamed of themselves and be directly responsible for their depression (and possible suicide).
8 yr old is too young to know that you are gay. 12 or 13 is about the time a boy knows if he is gay. if he actually has same sex then he is. at 8 he doesn't even know what sex is yet, or sex roles are...
Without reading the other 11 pages or so, my concern is about an 8 year old boy and an 8 year old girl playing a game of dress up where they expose their underwear and whatever to each other. That is where he got the interest right? These doesn't seem like a healthy game on so many levels.
Usually most kids don't have a whole lot of modesty around each other, so this is really not big deal.
My 8 y/o son has a cousin about his age that is a girl. They were at her house recently and they were playing dress up.
I didn't think twice about that until a couple weeks later we were at Wal-Mart looking at boys clothes and he asked if he could look at girls clothes.
He said he just liked the way they looked and even was drawn to the girls underwear and socks.
I try to be open minded so next time we went and after a lengthy discussion I agreed he could get some girls socks and underwear since only he would know.
But that's were I drew the line since kids can be mean and I didn't want him going to school in a girls top.
Am I doing the right thing? I am a single mother and his father will see him about once a month, so he does have a male figure in his life. And if he grows up gay I will be disappointed, but I will still accept him just like I do now with this quirk that i hope he outgrows.
What piqued his curiosity was doing that in the first place.
In general, if he wants to wear them, he wants to wear them. The thing is, if he wants to wear the rest, you have to impress upon him that he isn't to wear this in public.
I never outgrew this (got dressed up at age 6), and at age 30 started buying my own clothes. The point is, it's a private thing.
I had a fetish for girl's panties when I was seven. I stole some of my cousin's. I was in heaven until my mom found out, she made me give them back and told me she would never get me any of my own. This only made me more curious. As a teenager I stole another pair from another cousin. As an adult, I wear panties I bought from the store off and on. I say let your son indulge and be supportive, but ensure that nothing serious becomes of this. Let him know there is nothing wrong with him and teach him to respect other people and their property.
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Plenty of girlfriends, but I wouldn't have cared if he'd been gay either. It's not my deal.
