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Growing up my parents would occassionally pick up my friends after school when their parents were running late and we would hang out at my house until their parents came to pick them up. They did the same for when my parents were running late. We treated each other well and fed each other after school etc. however we were best friends and same with our parents became good friends as well. I think it's very rude to ask for gas money considering the fact you are going to the same destination any way, you are just trying to help and be a convenience to them. If I can help and am available I would always try to, and if your kids are friends than you shouldn't have any hard feelings. I'm surprised your school district doesn't offer bus services. If you no longer want to carpool just say your morning and after school schedule has changed and you can no longer carpool. There are many excuses to use such as the kids will be getting driven by their grandparents and won't be going directly to school/home afterwards because new after school activities they recently joined. You can say they have art class, swim practice, soccer practice, track meet, meeting grandparents for breakfast, tutoring, and you can no longer car pool because you aren't going directly to school or home. It's pretty simple to come up with an excuse to get out of carpooling.
@possibleyou, I absolutely agree with helping folks out - in fact, for many (6?) years that was the situation with us - a regular give and take, mostly with our first-born kids and when the kids were younger. But for the last few years, it has been me helping with no help in return. It has only been added stress for me and my family. We've had some employment drama this year, and both time and money are tight this year as a result - so while I'd rather not do it overall because the time is more stressful, a reciprocal offer of either time or money would have made it feel like a more viable option. Plus, it would be easier to feel better about it if there were a better relationship between these 2 kiddos.
Anyway - I've told her we'd rather be a backup plan than the front line plan, and suggested some other options. I don't mind doing it occasionally if something falls through.
Oy. It's just all stressful. And I would like this mom to keep being a friend - but either I do it and feel taken advantage of , or I don't do it and she's upset. Either way I don't see positive things for the friendship in the near future.
@possibleyou, I absolutely agree with helping folks out - in fact, for many (6?) years that was the situation with us - a regular give and take, mostly with our first-born kids and when the kids were younger. But for the last few years, it has been me helping with no help in return. It has only been added stress for me and my family. We've had some employment drama this year, and both time and money are tight this year as a result - so while I'd rather not do it overall because the time is more stressful, a reciprocal offer of either time or money would have made it feel like a more viable option. Plus, it would be easier to feel better about it if there were a better relationship between these 2 kiddos.
Anyway - I've told her we'd rather be a backup plan than the front line plan, and suggested some other options. I don't mind doing it occasionally if something falls through.
Oy. It's just all stressful. And I would like this mom to keep being a friend - but either I do it and feel taken advantage of , or I don't do it and she's upset. Either way I don't see positive things for the friendship in the near future.
I wouldn't have offered to be back up. I would have said I can't do it and why can't she take the bus? This mother isn't your friend any more. She only started speaking to you again because she needs this favor.
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