The long term effects of spanking and slapping (method, punishment, parents)
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I doubt this will change the mind of those who still swear they believe everything wrong with our kids today is because they aren't spanked. Many of us have found wonderful ways to discipline our kids without hitting them. Yes it take work and patience but those are the least of the requirements to be good parents.
"One recent poll found that 22 percent of parents reported being "very likely" to spank their children, but most said they disciplined their kids in other ways, by taking away privileges or putting them in "time out." "
irritates me. Suggesting the misuse of a technique (time out) that is likely to be pretty ineffective by itself to curb undesirable behavior just gives fuel to the notion that non-spanking techniques "don't work". Then they go on to say praise the kids. No discussion of effective limit setting. No wonder positive discipline looks like permissiveness.
I doubt this will change the mind of those who still swear they believe everything wrong with our kids today is because they aren't spanked. Many of us have found wonderful ways to discipline our kids without hitting them. Yes it take work and patience but those are the least of the requirements to be good parents.
I don't buy it. I was spanked and I'm not aggressive. My brothers and sisters were spanked and they are not aggressive.
I doubt this will change the mind of those who still swear they believe everything wrong with our kids today is because they aren't spanked. Many of us have found wonderful ways to discipline our kids without hitting them. Yes it take work and patience but those are the least of the requirements to be good parents.
It is not spanking per say that may result in aggression. Children do sense when spanking is flat out abuse and when spanking is disipline. I was spanked and I knew when I did something that led to that type of discipline as much as I denied doing such thing.
I spanked my daughters and they did not turn out aggressive also. I know that with enough research I can find a study that would show spanking when properly done does not result in aggressiveness. So as the OP, I am sure this will not change minds either.
The bottom line? I believe spanking is one of many tools a parent can have in his arsenal of discimpline and a wise parent know what to use the right type. Will a parent always make the right call? Of course not just as my parents did not and I did not. In the end I and my children realize that the spanking we all recieved was done with wisdom, caring and love in mind, not just to abuse. Take care.
The article said that most people experience some sort of spanking punishment growing up which is why it's so hard for people to imagine disciplining a child without it. And yet, most people don't have problems with aggression.
Methinks there is more to making a violent human being than a swat on the behind when they misbehave.
Im no child psychologist but I did stay at a holiday inn last night... my take on child misbehavior is that it is all a function of consistency of parental behavior. You provide consistent expectations and the mouth breathers generally grow up to be rather functional adults. Perhaps its because Im military and Ive seen what the break-down-build-up method does to full grown adults, but a stern "im about to put the fear of God in ya" followed by putting the fear of God in them and then setting the expectation for future behavior coldly and walking away, will go a long way towards shaping boundaries that actually stick, rather than pulling your hair week after week flailing with a misbehaving kid.
Sometimes that involves shaking the mouthbreather a little, sometimes it doesn't. Life's dynamic. Good luck to all.
P.S. No mouthbreathers were hurt in the elaboration of this hypothesis.
I just don't think it matters either way. I've seen well behaved kids who've never been spanked and I've seen little disasters getting spanked constantly and vs versa. I just think it's genes. Adults are the ones who decide if they need to use physical violence or not. It has nothing to do with the kids needing it in my opinion. Either you're an aggressive adult or you are not. To me you either hand it down in your sperm and eggs or you don't. The only sense it makes to me is if you are an aggressive adult and use physical punishment you are more likely to carry the gene that passes it down to your offspring. Not always though. Some people are just naturally mellow and some are naturally more aggressive.
The article said that most people experience some sort of spanking punishment growing up which is why it's so hard for people to imagine disciplining a child without it. And yet, most people don't have problems with aggression.
Methinks there is more to making a violent human being than a swat on the behind when they misbehave.
There may just be a positive correlation between parents who spank their kids and parents who raise aggressive children. I wouldn't say it causes aggression. In my own experience, I've seen that:
1. I was spanked as a kid, but very rarely, and I'm not aggressive until provoked.
2. My cousins were spanked much more often and are much more aggressive.
3. But my mom was always more quiet and more kind, more rational, in her parenting than the others. So we cannot say that it was the spanking, per se.
That being said, I will NOT be spanking my son. We simply do not find it necessary. We've put a level of thought into what he's learning that generally prevents the need for such measures (and my kid's in his "terrible 2s") As no kudzu put it, "Yes it takes work and patience but those are the least of the requirements to be good parents." I must agree. I think if you're going to be a good parent, you're going to be working harder. I consider spanking the easy way out if not the least effective.
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