U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
 
Old 02-07-2012, 06:13 PM
 
Location: TX
6,009 posts, read 4,945,550 times
Reputation: 2585

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by 90sman View Post
There's a difference between spanking and beating your kids. Giving your child a swat on the bottom when the situation is appropriate is NOT abuse. However, beating them with a belt out of anger and frustration IS abuse.
So? There's a difference between giving them too much salt and too much alcohol as well. Doesn't make giving them too much salt a good idea. And actually, the emotional state of the parent at the time of punishment has nothing to do with defining 'abuse'.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 90sman View Post
When I have kids, I will be spanking them when they need it.
Would you mind being more specific?

Quote:
Originally Posted by 90sman View Post
People pushing stuff like this to be "softer" on the youths are one of the reasons why children today are so misbehaved and selfish because parents don't give their children a firm hand and let them know right from wrong.
No, children are misbehaved because they just flat get away with things. The method of discipline matters only in that we should consider what a child values most when picking a punishment. But, I should hope, no one's raising their kids so they only understand and appreciate pain...

Children are selfish when they are constantly given things they could do without, are not taught to share, and are given things when they demand them instead of asking.
Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-07-2012, 06:13 PM
 
2,490 posts, read 3,611,625 times
Reputation: 2865
Quote:
Originally Posted by eastwesteastagain View Post
There are plenty of parents who teach their children right from wrong and how to be respectful and responsible without spanking. There are ways to be effective and authoritative without using spanking as a discipline tool. I'm not anti-spanking (though I don't spank), but assuming misbehavior and selfishness is a result of not being spanked seems like a huge over-generalization of questionable accuracy.
I didn't say it was THE reason, I said it's one of the reasons.

Another thing about spanking is that when parents use this method, they should explain to their child the reasoning for being spanked and explain to them what they did was wrong. This is something I notice many parents don't do.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-07-2012, 06:21 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
3,388 posts, read 3,226,786 times
Reputation: 2387
Quote:
Originally Posted by 90sman View Post

Another thing about spanking is that when parents use this method, they should explain to their child the reasoning for being spanked and explain to them what they did was wrong. This is something I notice many parents don't do.
I actually wonder if that's the common denominator for effective teaching/discipline, regardless of whether the strategy is time out or spanking or something else: explanation, being clear on what the consequence is being administered for, and helping the child to figure out what to do differently next time.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-07-2012, 06:38 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,022 posts, read 24,683,229 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Says the man who clearly knows nothing about Buddhism. This is once again the most useless thread topic ever. Every tom, dick and ****head comes in from nowhere with their non-opinion.
You know nothing about me.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-07-2012, 07:02 PM
 
Location: TX
6,009 posts, read 4,945,550 times
Reputation: 2585
Quote:
Originally Posted by 90sman View Post
Another thing about spanking is that when parents use this method, they should explain to their child the reasoning for being spanked and explain to them what they did was wrong. This is something I notice many parents don't do.
At very least, yes. My mom did this with me and I think it's what made all the difference, to be honest with you. My cousins would always say the worst thing about my mom's spankings wasn't the spanking (apparently, they were hit MUCH harder and for longer durations), but the lectures she would give both before and after.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-07-2012, 07:43 PM
 
Location: Tennessee/Michigan
27,996 posts, read 46,366,300 times
Reputation: 19403
Post News, Spanking kids can cause long-term harm: Canada study.

TORONTO (Reuters) - Spanking children can cause long-term developmental damage and may even lower a child's IQ, according to a new Canadian analysis that seeks to shift the ethical debate over corporal punishment into the medical sphere.

The study, published this week in the Canadian Medical Association Journal, reached its conclusion after examining 20 years of published research on the issue.

Spanking kids can cause long-term harm: Canada study (http://health.yahoo.net/news/s/nm/spanking-kids-can-cause-long-term-harm-canada-study - broken link)
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-07-2012, 08:08 PM
 
11,614 posts, read 19,716,271 times
Reputation: 12046
Quote:
Originally Posted by eastwesteastagain View Post
I agree with you. Not everyone who chooses spanking, but a lot of the vocal pro-spanking contingent, seem to focus on when interventions like time-outs are incorrectly applied. When used appropriately and consistently, time outs or other behavioral interventions require no bribery, no negotiation, no cajoling, and no reasoning. It makes me wonder why there isn't more of a call for parents to use these techniques properly, rather than throwing the baby out with the bathwater, so to speak.
Well-I think both sides are pretty all or nothing. It's not as if there are only two ways to discipline a child. I have to say that I didn't spank my kids, nor did I ever use time outs. I am far more creative than that.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-07-2012, 08:47 PM
 
11,614 posts, read 19,716,271 times
Reputation: 12046
Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
The all or nothing approach seems to run both ways. Why are people against spanking so quick to judge those who do spank as abusers? Hitting, slapping, beating, violence? Really?
I agree that the all or nothing approach runs both ways. All or nothing thinking is rarely productive.

I personally do not think that people who spank are abusers, but I don't see how you can escape that it is violent to hit another person. You cannot pretend that spanking is not violent. I can understand that you may feel that the violence is justified. I can respect that, but it is still violence.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-07-2012, 08:53 PM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
9,486 posts, read 13,344,036 times
Reputation: 19912
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
I agree that the all or nothing approach runs both ways. All or nothing thinking is rarely productive.

I personally do not think that people who spank are abusers, but I don't see how you can escape that it is violent to hit another person. You cannot pretend that spanking is not violent. I can understand that you may feel that the violence is justified. I can respect that, but it is still violence.
Victims of actual violence might disagree. Bruises, whelps, broken bones or worse. An open palm across a childs posterior should not result in anything close to that.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-07-2012, 09:00 PM
 
7,508 posts, read 3,595,255 times
Reputation: 3885
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
I agree that the all or nothing approach runs both ways. All or nothing thinking is rarely productive.

I personally do not think that people who spank are abusers, but I don't see how you can escape that it is violent to hit another person. You cannot pretend that spanking is not violent. I can understand that you may feel that the violence is justified. I can respect that, but it is still violence.
Speaking of violence, we should get rid of video games, movies, music, or anything that relates to violence. Maybe that might lower our crime statistics.
Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:
Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top