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***puts hands on ears, waves them and keeps tongue out*****
I'll help lighten up
The ultimate and most positive take away from this thread happens to be that even "experts" no matter how bogus they are agree that long term effects of spanking and slapping contributes to aggression in "kids" ONLY
That is their choice. We have found it effective especially when someone in the family begins to thing for one moment that they were "our equals" or worse "our superiors" This quickly sets the record straight.
Again, you can do this with timeouts too. So why spanking?
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12
There is nothing more pathetic or ugly than seeing a nine year old demanding her mother to purchase a trendy outfit, or an eleven year old complaining that they "are tired of sitting in a restaurant" Uncorrected children whose parents feel it is their job to make every day "A Trip to Disney World" are doing their kids and society a disservice. What might be cute (not to me) at four, is annoying at 8, and downright obnoxious at 12.
By all means, don't let them do something in the beginning that you want them to stop doing later on; we agree on that. And don't let them do any of that other junk either.
But I don't see what any of this has to do with corporal punishment. At most, you are saying "You should discipline your children." I think we all agree on that. It's the "how" we're here to discuss.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12
Sometimes some children occasionally need to be taken down a notch or two.
I think many of you still are confusing spanking with actual abuse. Yes unwarranted "beatdowns" for no reason would have long term affects on anybody, but spanking followed by positive reinforcement should not
I keep seeing variations of this argument and I'd like some examples please.
People keep saying "You wouldn't hit another adult in real life would you?" and my thought is no, but other than going to jail, when was the last time someone put another adult in a timeout type of situation or took privileges away from them because of their inappropriate behavior? Not to mention trying to correct or teach another adult how to behave is futile, and not our place anyway. So forgive me if I don't see the point of that particular argument.
I keep seeing variations of this argument and I'd like some examples please.
People keep saying "You wouldn't hit another adult in real life would you?" and my thought is no, but other than going to jail, when was the last time someone put another adult in a timeout type of situation or took privileges away from them because of their inappropriate behavior? Not to mention trying to correct or teach another adult how to behave is futile, and not our place anyway. So forgive me if I don't see the point of that particular argument.
I think that taking time to calm down is a very relevant skill for the real world.
Once the child is calm the parent can discuss what happened and what the consequences of the action will be. A parent cannot impose consequences without a child being calm. The time out is not the consequence of misbehavior. The time out is meant to calm the child so that the child can be disciplined.
This is a skill that is very relevant to real life. If you find yourself in a situation where being overly emotional is not beneficial it is a great idea to take some time to get yourself calm. Self calming can help adults deal with situations in a less emotional way. Time out teaches kids to self calm.
When my kids were small we did not use time outs per se. However, if my kids were getting all worked up over something they did get sent to their room to calm down. Once they were calm I could deal with whatever it was that they had done. If they were totally worked up hitting them would only make them MORE worked up. I think that misconception is that getting sent to your room is the consequence of misbehavior. It is not. It is a way to get the child calm so that the parent can deal with the misbehavior.
People say we shouldn't spank because that breeds violence but that's like saying we shouldn't tell our kids about Santa and the Easter Bunny because that breeds lying.
I was spankedmuntil I was 12 then grounded and to be honest spanking made me respectfully fear my parents while grounding made me ponder my actions so I say do BOTH
I think many of you still are confusing spanking with actual abuse.
No. For the zillienth time no. I am of the opinion that holding the bar as low as failure to be abusive as holding the bar way too low. There are better ways to achieve behavior and move toward teaching character, integrity, self confidence.
I can agree on that. As a child I can remember getting a beating three times in my life. My son recieved two, but after talking, beatings and explanations on why it happened and a show of love and respect we both turned out fine
It's so strange to me when people talk about beating their kids. It's more common to hear justifications like "spanking isn't like real abuse" and "I would never hit my child but spanking is OK." People usually shy away from the suggestion that they are doing something wrong. And then there are people who proclaim, oh yeah, I totally beat my kid. It's good for him!
Vic doesn't seem to understand, it is easier to just smack the kid on the arm to get the point across fast. Not a full fledged spanking, just enough to make your point. Nothing abusive, not pulling pants down and whipping with a belt,
just a plain old grab the arm type of thing.
not to sit down and try to reason with a 5 year old.
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