Son and his girlfriend barely visit due to sleeping arrangement (teens, 14 year old)
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Sticking to a set of morals and values is not the same as sheltering your kids.
It can. Look at the Duggar's. They not only stick to their values, but ensure that their kids are almost unaware of how other people live. They were home schooled, so they never sat in a classroom with people with different values. Their marriages are practically arranged with like minded people. They don't even have a chance to see what other options are out there.
You could say the OP is doing the same by trying to hide the fact that the 26 year old sleeps in the same bed with his GF from her two teen kids.
Sticking to a set of morals and values is not the same as sheltering your kids.
She wants to shield the young'uns from seeing an out-of-wedlock couple sleeping in the same bed. That's sheltering them - or trying to, anyways. Those kids aren't naive, like has been written here before.
A lot of people who are zoned in on the op being controlling of her son seem to be forgetting that there are minor children in the house she doesn't want to expose to this behavior.
A lot of people who are zoned in on the op being controlling of her son seem to be forgetting that there are minor children in the house she doesn't want to expose to this behavior.
We're well cognizant of this. This is why the word "sheltered" has been brought up.
We're well cognizant of this. This is why the word "sheltered" has been brought up.
So now not wanting little kids to know that their sibling is boinking a chick is "sheltered"? Or is it too much to ask that parents be able to talk about it on their own time?
Or likely the siblings know that the brother and gf already live together and their parents are trying to live by their convictions and lead by example that this is not the ideal way to go about things (in their minds).
Next you'll be saying because she doesn't let strangers smoke a crack pipe in her house, she's sheltering her kids...
So now not wanting little kids to know that their sibling is boinking a chick is "sheltered"? Or is it too much to ask that parents be able to talk about it on their own time?
Or likely the siblings know that the brother and gf already live together and their parents are trying to live by their convictions and lead by example that this is not the ideal way to go about things (in their minds).
Next you'll be saying because she doesn't let strangers smoke a crack pipe in her house, she's sheltering her kids...
Well, it's a fine line, isn't it. Hard to say where it should be drawn.
So now not wanting little kids to know that their sibling is boinking a chick is "sheltered"? Or is it too much to ask that parents be able to talk about it on their own time?
Alright, let me address your latest bag of hot air.
1. The kids aren't little. They are 14 and 16.
2. Nobody but NOBODY has said anything about "boinking". You seem to be the only one who repeatedly brings it up.
3. If you think (non-sheltered) kids at 14 and 16 are not well-aware of what goes on between consenting adults, you're from another planet.
Quote:
Or likely the siblings know that the brother and gf already live together and their parents are trying to live by their convictions and lead by example that this is not the ideal way to go about things (in their minds).
Right, no argument there. Again, I get the parents' desire to protect their younger offspring from reality, misguided though I might believe that desire to be. I don't think it's doing the kids any favors, but they aren't my kids, so ultimately it's the OP's choice on how to act in this situation. However, in her desire to shield the teenagers from the "outrageous" behavior of the 26-year-old, she must realize that he has already made his choice. If the only reason she wants him and his GF to sleep in separate beds while under her roof is for the purposes of protecting the little ones' innocence, I would say she's pretty naive as those kids know more about relationships than she thinks they do - and if they don't, then, yes, at 14 and 16, they would qualify as sheltered.
My son is 26 years old. We don't want him to share room because it is a bad example to other kids here and it is against our morals.
If he live with his girlfriend, then why can't they just spend a few nights sleeping in separate bed?
The other kids are 14 and 16. They are already aware your son is sleeping with his girlfriend every night and likely having sex with her. You allowing them to do it under their roof isn't going to flip some switch in their brain that tells them it's okay because they already are forming their views on it one way or another. You can't really be mad at him for not agreeing with your policy and deciding to stay somewhere else. He obviously doesn't think he needs to change just to make you happy, so either change your rules, or just get used to it.
The other kids are 14 and 16. They are already aware your son is sleeping with his girlfriend every night and likely having sex with her. You allowing them to do it under their roof isn't going to flip some switch in their brain that tells them it's okay because they already are forming their views on it one way or another. You can't really be mad at him for not agreeing with your policy and deciding to stay somewhere else. He obviously doesn't think he needs to change just to make you happy, so either change your rules, or just get used to it.
In all honesty, I doubt the conversation here has to do with sex. Very few people, myself included, would feel comfortable having sex with a parent in the next room - not for reasons of morality, but because it's just awkward. So all the dude wants to do is sleep in the same bed as his girl. He's an adult, he gets to make that decision as long as he doesn't make it under her roof and her rules, which he's not.
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