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In other words she should go against her conscience for the sake of getting along with her children. And we wonder why children get worse and worse as the years go on.
I don't think she could go against her conscience, but I do think she should accept that her adult son disagrees and she will spend less time with him because of it.
I don't understand why the son is unwilling to bend even for one night, but I would venture a guess that it is because there is more to this than just the sleeping arrangements. JMHO.
In other words she should go against her conscience for the sake of getting along with her children. And we wonder why children get worse and worse as the years go on.
Nobody is saying she should be doing anything. What she should is not be surprised when her choices don't turn out in her favor which it is clear they aren't.
So its sheltering to encourage your children not to have premarital sex? Again this is one reason why children out of wedlock is much more prevalent then it was a few decades ago.
No, that's because more people don't get married. Teen pregnancy rates are actually way down.
Nobody is saying she should be doing anything. What she should is not be surprised when her choices don't turn out in her favor which it is clear they aren't.
Even when you are an adult, your parents are still your parents. You don't have to like their rules but you should still respect them. When you are in your own house you can do what you want. The OP is just going to have to learn to stick with her guns or relent like most people nowadays do.
What about this do you not get? Her son is doing exactly that - respecting her wishes. He's not sharing a bed with his gf in OP's house. That he's not staying at her place at all isn't a sign of disrespect.
In other words she should go against her conscience for the sake of getting along with her children. And we wonder why children get worse and worse as the years go on.
Her conscience? Good grief. He didn't kill anybody. He wants to share a bed with the woman he's been sleeping with for several years. Mary was sharing a bed with Joseph when she wasn't married to him. I can't imagine Jesus getting his knickers in knot over this.
The OP has decided she is not having it in her house. She misses her son and wants to figure out how to talk him into going along with her demands.
Good luck with that one.
BTW, children do not get worse and worse as the years go on. They get better and better. They grow up and figure out their own moral codes which they then do their best to impose on their children. And they become fascinating adults.
In other words she should go against her conscience for the sake of getting along with her children. And we wonder why children get worse and worse as the years go on.
If wants the son to stay with her then yes. Forcing your way of living on your adult children is wrong. She asked him to stay, so she needs to accept his choices or not get upset when they stay some where else.
Again sticking to a set of morals and beliefs is not the same thing as sheltering a child. If that were the case then parents shouldn't adhere to morals or beliefs at all and just let their kids do what they want to do.
It CAN be. Sometimes it absolutely is. Whether or not that is the case in this situation is hard to say. The OP said this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pomm8
My son is 26 years old. We don't want him to share room because it is a bad example to other kids here and it is against our morals.
If he live with his girlfriend, then why can't they just spend a few nights sleeping in separate bed?
Do the 14 and 16 year olds know he lives with his GF? If so, it is too late to hide it from them and makes little sense to try to hide it when they come visit. If not, well, then they are being sheltered IMO.
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