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To me being a human inherently makes someone important. For example, a raccoon and human aren't on the same level of importance in my world. Approaching a stranger I will assume they are inherently good/important/equal until they prove otherwise.
Teaching your children respect is not equal to being a drill sergeant.
We also weren't the seen and not heard crowd. At our family functions, we could be in adult conversation as children as long as we were respectful. There would be no interrupting of other people, and things we had to add to the conversation were as on topic as could be.
Also, trust me, we weren't taught blind obedience, and that's not something we would ever teach our children.
Yes, I teach them not to interrupt anyone. I get on to 3yo for interrupting 6yo.
Things like that are general politeness.
The point of thread wasn't to say that children should go around cursing people-my point is that they shouldn't be made to go out of their way simply due to birthdate.
DD loves her art teacher but isn't too fond of her homeroom teacher. I tell her that she does have to like her but still has to listen like the other children. Becaus it is the school's rules. There is nothing wrong with indifference and this is what she has for mrs. mouthy-as she calls her at home.
yes, i teach them not to interrupt anyone. I get on to 3yo for interrupting 6yo.
Things like that are general politeness.
The point of thread wasn't to say that children should go around cursing people-my point is that they shouldn't be made to go out of their way simply due to birthdate.
Dd loves her art teacher but isn't too fond of her homeroom teacher. I tell her that she does not have to like her but still has to listen like the other children. Becaus it is the school's rules. There is nothing wrong with indifference and this is what she has for mrs. Mouthy-as she calls her at home.
It's not indifference if she calls her Mrs Mouthy, that is out and out disrespect.
Disrespect because she simply doesn't like the teacher, or because the teacher has actually done something to earn disrespect, maybe belittled a student or something similar?
Take it a step further, does this mean children don't deserve respect either? After all what have they 'done' to deserve it. Sort of negates the whole argument doesn't it?
I'm trying to toss this around in my head and the conclusion I come to is that you're saying respect should only be based on achievements. Does this mean a child shouldn't respect their parents? After all, the only achievement that gives a parent the "mom" or "dad" label is having sex. The act of being a good parent can be rationalized as the parent simply taking responsibility for their decisions (having sex). Is being responsible a great achievement? What about the policeman or firefighter - what's their great achievement other than taking a job with a little more risk than other jobs?
For most Americans, I'd say respect has a philosophical/religious foundation. For Christians, I think most believe all people were created in the image of God. A quick Google search gives me the following:
Of course not everyone is religious, but I'm just giving an idea of what grounds many people's ideas of respect.
I think when we tell a child to 'respect' his parents it means 'respect their wishes', which really means 'do as you're told'. When I think back on my childhood I don't remember respect for who my parents were as being something at the forefront of my mind. I don't remember it being like "Wow, this person is great, I should listen to this person because XYZ" or whatever. I just knew that certain people or situations demanded I had to be more polite / well behaved, and that trouble would come my way if I wasn't. I don't think that's what an adult's notion of respect is though.
I don't think the example of police or firefighters goes against what I'm saying either. I mean, both of those jobs well require certain admirable traits if you're gonna do them well - bravery, selflessness, quick thinking, self-control etc. They are both demanding occupations and I think coping & succeeding in the conditions that police & firefighters have to put up with could be considered 'achievement'. I'm unsure that I could do either job. My respect isn't because they're wearing a badge or carrying a gun, that's the same as the parent-child type of 'respect' really meaning 'do as I say'.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT
Take it a step further, does this mean children don't deserve respect either? After all what have they 'done' to deserve it. Sort of negates the whole argument doesn't it?
I think we're thinking of two different things when we say 'respect'. I think by 'respecting' people you mean 'treat people with basic decency', and who wouldn't be on board with that?
Actually those bible quotes that eddiehaskell pasted sound like they are using the word 'respect' in two different senses - one being respect = being civil / kind towards people, the other being respect = bow to authority, do as I say.
I think we're thinking of two different things when we say 'respect'. I think by 'respecting' people you mean 'treat people with basic decency', and who wouldn't be on board with that?
Actually those bible quotes that eddiehaskell pasted sound like they are using the word 'respect' in two different senses - one being respect = being civil / kind towards people, the other being respect = bow to authority, do as I say.
Okay, and what you think of as respect I think of as admiration. People earn my admiration by being brave, selfless, intelligent, caring, etc. I don't admire strangers I know nothing about, however I do show respect to others I know nothing about, until such time as they show me they are unworthy of that respect. Treating people with courtesy and decency =respect, yes, I don't know another word for that, but it's not the same as admiration.
Being of any age is no achievement, just a demonstration of how long someone has held out. In the 21st century there is no "battle for survival" in America. It's not like we're prehistoric Neanderthals and half our tribe isn't going to make it through the winter because the caribou died out.
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