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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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C-D, a very interesting question. I know quite a few here have grown children and more have younger children. What if your child when they become an adult has no interest in dating whatsoever? What if they came to you and said they had no interest in marriage, romantic love, or having children? Would you feel something is wrong with them?
I have no interest in marriage, dating seriously, or having a family. I'm an only child and I don't really discuss my feelings on love with my mother and only talk relationships with very trusted friends. Mom is probably fine with me not having children or not marrying.
I'm not a parent so I can't answer from that perspective. I do know that my parents never gave me grief about marriage and not having kids either. I think that's probably where most of the "grief" you'd get is from not wanting or having kids.
I come from dysfunctional parents and there were multiple marriages and divorces and the like, so I think that probably shaped their more laid back approach to the whole subject.
Hey, it's your life. I'd be sad for that child, for my wife and I have a great marriage. I'd hate for them to miss out on the kind of happiness we have. But it's his or her life to live.
C-D, a very interesting question. I know quite a few here have grown children and more have younger children. What if your child when they become an adult has no interest in dating whatsoever? What if they came to you and said they had no interest in marriage, romantic love, or having children? Would you feel something is wrong with them?
I have no interest in marriage, dating seriously, or having a family. I'm an only child and I don't really discuss my feelings on love with my mother and only talk relationships with very trusted friends. Mom is probably fine with me not having children or not marrying.
Not an issue with us, the choices of our children are their choices once they are adults.
I made my choices without their input and they can make their choices without my input.
I wouldn't pressure my sons into anything or make them feel bad about themselves - but inside, I would be very sad and would feel like it was my fault.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
Reputation: 41376
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76
I wouldn't pressure my sons into anything or make them feel bad about themselves - but inside, I would be very sad and would feel like it was my fault.
Why would it have to be your fault necessarily? The way my parents thought, anything you do after 18 is on you and you alone.
Why would it have to be your fault necessarily? The way my parents thought, anything you do after 18 is on you and you alone.
You don't suddenly become a different person when you are 18. You are shaped by everything leading up to that point. I'm not saying I would put pressure on them to change their minds or that I wouldn't be supportive - but I would be very sad inside. Love is the most amazing thing in the world - and for them to shun it or want nothing to do with it would make me wonder what I had done for them to feel this way. It would be one thing if they simply didn't want children or marriage - but to not want love, that's different to me.
My own daughter refused all male attention all the way through high school and into uni.
She said she had better things to do.
I think its AWESOME, I didn't have to worry about the stupid things her friends did, nor did she. She would come and tell me about all the teenage dramas and we would have a good laugh.
There were boys around, though, one in particular who I wonder about even now. I think hes in love with her, she's all...meh.....
I have no interest in marriage, dating seriously, or having a family. I'm an only child and I don't really discuss my feelings on love with my mother and only talk relationships with very trusted friends. Mom is probably fine with me not having children or not marrying.
I would wonder why my child says he doesn't want marriage or dating, yet his actions show him spending a lot of time in an online relationships forum.
You've previously indicated that you're an angry person and you also fear rejection. When are you going to address those issues and develop a healthier mindset? Choices should be out of confidence and certainty in yourself, not fear.
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