Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I don't think there needs to be a section for parents with kids, what there needs to be is parents respecting other people and not inflicting THEIR kids on others.
When my son was little if he acted up one of us would remove him from the situation be it a store,movie,restaraunt etc. I've eaten many a meal cold or out of a to-go container to sit with my son in the car or on a bench. I've taken him out of malls due to screaming and having a fit that's MY responsability as a citizen sharing the air with others.
Hey, it's our choice to have a kid, our choice whether to go out or not and we have no right to force our choice on others. If your kids can't behave in an "adult" eatery or any place else for that matter then that's what chucky cheese or a park is for right?
As a parent, I feel for the parents. Kids act up in public, period. I generally ignore it.
That said, I do think parents need to take them outside where they're not getting the attention they're seeking, and it will diffuse the tantrum. Ignoring a kid is only making the problem worse. You ignore the behavior not the child. A tantrum is generally when a kid's not getting enough attention in the first place. Ignore them, and they'll escalate. Calmly take them outside and ask them whether they'd like to remain at the restaurant and eat like a good boy/girl, or go home. Usually that will send them the message that it's not working, but mommy/daddy does care. Allow them to choose their menu item, drink, and dessert. This gives them a sense of control in the situation - choices are good tension diffusers. If they're squirmy, ask them if they want a hot dog or chicken, juice or milk. Instantly you take the attention to a directed topic rather than them being bored. Involve them in your conversation!
Restaurants are hard for kids. Grown-ups are usually talking and ignoring their kids, hence the kids' menus and crayons. In order to get good visit time, consider going to a family friendly place like Dave & Busters, or Chuck E Cheese. Each can do their own thing.
Bring a snack for the lengthy wait time. Many restaurants have complimentary toddler plates (cold cuts, cheese, fruit) that are prepared for serving with the beverages. They're great for giving the little ones something to do right away. Once their bellies are full, they'll be more happy to color, etc.
I thank goodness it isn't my daughter, but at the same time I can understand that sometimes children throw tantrums. HOWEVER, this does not mean that the parent shouldn't try to get the child to calm down. When my daughter throws a tantrum I normally look her in the eyes and tell her she needs to calm her butt down or we're leaving. If she keeps it up, we leave. I'm not going to subject others to my daughter's tantrums when it's not one of the "fleeting" ones (that most every child has at least once a day, and normally last only a few minutes). I would expect the parent of the tantrum throwing child to say something to their child. If it got really bad I would request to be moved away from the family who is having a breakdown.
Depends on the kind of restaurant. If it's a family type place, I can ignore just about everything. BUT...when we go to a 'fancy' place where you might spend a couple of hundred bucks...well, if the host/ess seats me next to kids I ask to move, I don't even sit down. If I'm going to arrange for a sitter, I'm not going to have dinner next to a kid, no matter how perfect their behavior.
I wasn't present at the incident but my aunt's friend apparently couldn't tolerate a child continuing to cry at their favorite restaurant, so her friend stood up at her own table and started screaming, loudly. The child stopped and the family left. (My aunt was, of course, embarrassed, but did admit that her friend certainly had guts.)
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
4,641 posts, read 11,941,823 times
Reputation: 9887
I didn't have a chance to read through all of the posts, but I have three sons and there's only 4 and 1/2 years' difference between the oldest and the youngest. They were taught proper manners and how to sit through a meal and church service from the time they were very young. They know how to politely speak to the server, excuse themselves, etc. No kidding, other diners have actually complimented us on their behavior (at least in public, hahaha). We did it by taking them to fast food and moving up to nicer places as they became more mature.
Given all the time and work I put in to have my kids behave, there is no way I'd accept anything less from other parents. If children are disturbing other diners, the parents should remove them. Case closed. Very simple. Whether it's a crying baby, toddler run amok, or bickering siblings, nobody wants to hear it. Plus, I've seen running children nearly tip the poor servers. I don't get it. How do the parents ignore it?
The price on the menu at restaurants includes more than the cost of the food--you're also paying for atmosphere. If a child is disturbing me, I notify management and expect them to deal with parents. If they don't, I'll leave.
It's one thing if the parents have no recourse, but if they can remove the child they should. For example, crying babies on a plane--it's not pleasant, but my heart goes out to those parents. Babies crying in the grocery store, while the parent's trying to check out. God Bless You. But in a restaurant? Nope. Leave.
I didn't have a chance to read through all of the posts, but I have three sons and there's only 4 and 1/2 years' difference between the oldest and the youngest. They were taught proper manners and how to sit through a meal and church service from the time they were very young. They know how to politely speak to the server, excuse themselves, etc. No kidding, other diners have actually complimented us on their behavior (at least in public, hahaha). We did it by taking them to fast food and moving up to nicer places as they became more mature.
Given all the time and work I put in to have my kids behave, there is no way I'd accept anything less from other parents. If children are disturbing other diners, the parents should remove them. Case closed. Very simple. Whether it's a crying baby, toddler run amok, or bickering siblings, nobody wants to hear it. Plus, I've seen running children nearly tip the poor servers. I don't get it. How do the parents ignore it?
The price on the menu at restaurants includes more than the cost of the food--you're also paying for atmosphere. If a child is disturbing me, I notify management and expect them to deal with parents. If they don't, I'll leave.
It's one thing if the parents have no recourse, but if they can remove the child they should. For example, crying babies on a plane--it's not pleasant, but my heart goes out to those parents. Babies crying in the grocery store, while the parent's trying to check out. God Bless You. But in a restaurant? Nope. Leave.
I agree! Anytime our kids "start" acting up, we'd get up and leave. In my book, it's not an acceptable or excusable behavior. After couple of times being consistent and returning home , our kids know better..now.
I wasn't present at the incident but my aunt's friend apparently couldn't tolerate a child continuing to cry at their favorite restaurant, so her friend stood up at her own table and started screaming, loudly. The child stopped and the family left. (My aunt was, of course, embarrassed, but did admit that her friend certainly had guts.)
That seems incredibly childish and I would expect more from an adult to resolve the situation without compounding the issue and irritating EVEN MORE patrons.
That women didn't have guts, she has no common sense or balls and clearly has never had children of her own. There were MUCH better ways to handle the situation and her reaction shows how immature she is.
In fact, I expect more from my children even- which is why I take them outside at the first hint of a meltdown. I also don't drag them to restaurants if they are overtired or overhungry. You must be mindful of other patrons and that includes YOUR reactions to a childs tantrum.
What a poor example that woman is. That women didn't have guts, she has no common sense and clearly has never had children of her own. I understand her frustration but she lost her cool and that is the first sign of WEAKNESS.
What a poor example that woman is. That women didn't have guts, she has no common sense and clearly has never had children of her own. I understand her frustration but she lost her cool and that is the first sign of WEAKNESS.
Well said. How embarrassing for everyone.
Before I had children, I used give 'the look' to the poor parents with screaming children. Now, my heart really feels for them and the challenge at hand. I have a little less understanding for parents with children who are running around in restaurants.
That being said, if my LO is starting to get into a meltdown mode, we abscond just as quickly as possible - BEFORE the meltdown. Fortunately for us, that doesn't happen often.
I have two children my first was easy my second not so much never anything too horrible but on one or two occasions he did cry in the middle of dinner and if we could not quiet him down fast enough then one of us would just take him to the bathroom until he calmed down... so I feel for the parents... but one time I saw this kid under the table screaming singing whatever he wanted I just wanted to grab one of those parents... well the waiter calmly brought over they bill and thankfully they got the hint and left.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
, our kids know better..now. 
