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No I didnt smack her but it was tempting. Had it been her father I just might have. my wife did have a few "kind" words for her out in the parking lot though.
I love to eat out but as a parent I don't put my children in a situation they can't handle. I eat at places where it doesn't take an extremely long time for the food to come out, I make sure they bring something to help keep them occupied, I engage them in conversation. They are 8 and 5 so it really isn't much of an issue now. If I ever was in a situation where either one was on the verge of going out of control, I would do something to ease the situation and leave if it came to that. Its a matter of respect for other diners and more importantly doing what is best for your children.
Well, I guess what I mean is that at a Macaroni Grill type place loud laughing and a yell or two aren't really going to upset anyone....but at a quiet, elegant place, it will. Honestly, who brings their kids to those kind of places??
I would. Not if it were just my husband and I out to dinner, but we often have family dinners at those types of restaurants for grandmother's birthday, mother's day, etc. Like anything else, if the fancier restaurants are part of a family's lifestyle, then the kids need to learn how to behave in them. I wouldn't subject other patrons to a tantrum, but I would hate to have some old bitty jump down my throat at the slightest peep without even giving me the chance to address what may be a potential issue. I realize that's not the type of parent being talked about here, and the issue is the parents who just don't deal with it at all, but a lot of these posts have me a little leary about taking my daughter out and thinking I'm going to have to deal with somebody's nasty attitude on top of dealing with a kid I'm trying to discipline.
Breakfasts work well for us too-like somebody else mentioned. She's still a little tired and just wants some apple juice and eggs. LOL.
By nature and experience (personal and jobwise) I am not one to ignore outrageous behavior.
A tired child crying is natural and deserves some sympathy. A child running wild because he can is unacceptable and deserves 'the look' given by me. Often times they stop, or at least avoid me. :-)
A 2 yr old pushing the limits is normal, a 2 yr old child lacking any supervision is dangerous and likely will get spoken to by me. Usually just a...hey, where's your mom? or Mom is calling you! Or maybe....hey, you should be walking, or you might hurt yourself.
My kids were always expected to behave while out and I was always as prepared as I could be to prevent any misbehavior due to tiredness or hunger. Sometimes none of that worked and there had to be a break taken away from the table. However, they never were allowed to just have full freedom to the dismay of other customers....not in my family!
By nature and experience (personal and jobwise) I am not one to ignore outrageous behavior.
A tired child crying is natural and deserves some sympathy. A child running wild because he can is unacceptable and deserves 'the look' given by me. Often times they stop, or at least avoid me. :-)
A 2 yr old pushing the limits is normal, a 2 yr old child lacking any supervision is dangerous and likely will get spoken to by me. Usually just a...hey, where's your mom? or Mom is calling you! Or maybe....hey, you should be walking, or you might hurt yourself.
My kids were always expected to behave while out and I was always as prepared as I could be to prevent any misbehavior due to tiredness or hunger. Sometimes none of that worked and there had to be a break taken away from the table. However, they never were allowed to just have full freedom to the dismay of other customers....not in my family!
It all boils down to respecting other people in a restaurant. No one would expect children to always be perfect angels sitting there like statues - and let's face it - if children are behaving but maybe just laughing or being a little to silly - that doesn't bother me at all - that's enjoyable to hear. It's when they are screaming and being disruptive to other people's experience, who are also paying money to have a night out. And sometimes when all it might take to diffuse the situation is to step outside for a moment with the child and let them calm down.....but there are many parents out there who think to themselves that this is their night out and they don't want to deal with the kids, so let them do whatever they want.
We went out to dinner once - emphasize once, we never went out with them again - with a couple who just let their son (I think he was maybe 6 or 7) just wonder around the restaurant (and this was a nice place). Most of the time she had no clue as to where he was. I think she thought the staff would just keep an eye on him. We've never been so embarrassed! We kept making suggestions that maybe she should go find him, that it didn't seem very safe, etc. But she wasn't about to ruin her evening of peace at the table! (I say "she" because they were dating at the time, so it was only her child).
When a child acts like that, usually my kids will say something about it. They NEVER behaved that way in public or went through a "tantrum stage". At young ages, they learned that every action has a consequence. They are not always perfect, but they are never obnoxious (in public).
When my kids make comments, I usually remind them that they should feel sympathy for that child... obviously their parents don't care what kind of people they are raising. I'm not refering to a child that acts out and gets reprimanded or removed. I am refering to the kids whose behavior is going unchecked by the responsible "adults" in their party.
Too many people say stuff like "Kids will be kids". They forget that obnoxious kids without guidance grow up to be obnoxious adults.
Recently at Applebees, there was a teenage-looking child, obviously with some type of medical problem/mental deficiency, who kept yelling out. Not the parent's fault - and as my kids noticed it and asked why the parents weren't doing anything, I explained that the boy had a "sick brain" (a term they identify with now that my mother had a stroke) and we should be patient. That being said, if it had gotten too much worse, we probably would've left.
As I've taught my children, your "rights" end where someone else's begin.
I personally wouldn't react because my children aren't perfect. If my children are acting out in a restaurant or other public place (a mall,etc...) we are quick to make it end, however, sometimes we aren't sucessful and I wouldn't judge others because I know how difficult it can be at times.
Obviously if the parent isn't doing anything, there are issues, however again, I don't know what is actually going on so I would just ignore the outburst as much as possible.
I have a sister with a Traumatic Brain injury so I know first hand what it is like to be out with someone who reacts without knowledge of what or how they are acting.
We have certainly had our situations where others feel that my parents (who btw are in their late 60's and my sister now in her 30's) aren't doing enough to control her.
All I can say to them is that let's hope one day they are never in the position to have to re-raise their child due to something completely out of their hands. It is unfair for my parents to have to deal with ignorance.
So again, we don't really know why certain children ( or adults) are acting the way they do and I suppose if you are really that bothered by it, you have the right to leave....
[quote=regarese;3186985]I would. Not if it were just my husband and I out to dinner, but we often have family dinners at those types of restaurants for grandmother's birthday, mother's day, etc. Like anything else, if the fancier restaurants are part of a family's lifestyle, then the kids need to learn how to behave in them. I wouldn't subject other patrons to a tantrum, but I would hate to have some old bitty jump down my throat at the slightest peep without even giving me the chance to address what may be a potential issue. I realize that's not the type of parent being talked about here, and the issue is the parents who just don't deal with it at all, but a lot of these posts have me a little leary about taking my daughter out and thinking I'm going to have to deal with somebody's nasty attitude on top of dealing with a kid I'm trying to discipline.QUOTE]
Well, I see your point. I know it's not popular to say it, I'll deal with the fallout but there are some places and times when I don't want to see kids period, well behaved or not. I love them, but as a teacher and parent, sometimes you just don't want to even have to look at them!
Being a "rambuctious" child and having raise a couple of active children, I generally give a wide latitude to parents of boisterous children. I must admit that I never once considered leaving my chair other than to get up and move it closer or futher from the table, and my children were never permitted to wander from their chairs at a restaurant outing.
My mother told me that she did not take us to a "nice" restaurant until we were older (6+) because we were too embarassing. (that meant we talked too loud and perhaps tossed food and spilled our drinks too often when were younger) I did not have that problem with my kids and did not mind the constant talking as long as it did not get too loud.
I have only been around one child that crossed what I considered to be acceptable childish behavior. I was in a chinese buffet in Alabama on evening and there was a girl of perhaps 3 years running around the restaurant unsupervised. She would tap tables tops and inspect other diners choices of entree. After a while she discovered the river stones in the fountain and collected a few pockets full and started throwing them at the windows and walls. No one seemed bothered by this, not her parents, grandparents or the wait staff walking around her. Only when one of the stones landed in the plate of another diner did they even seem to notice. They told the little girl to not throw the rocks and proceeded to laugh at her antics amongst themselves.
Later the owner of the restaurant came out to sit at their table with them and seemed to be very good friends of the family. The little girl was never restrained or chastised the entire time I was in the restuarant.
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but there are some places and times when I don't want to see kids period, well behaved or not. I love them, but as a teacher and parent, sometimes you just don't want to even have to look at them!
