Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Childhood jacked up by parents, private pitching coaches, Martha Stewart Valentine’s parties, birthday parties at hotel suites with limousine rides, AP classes, expensive prom dresses
For some reason parents have a driving need for their kids to be one up on other kids, bragging rights, etc..
There is a thread about a program that supposedly teaches infants to learn to read. Seems most every parent brags on the threads about their kid's AP classes or athletic ability. With so many kids in AP classes, maybe high schools should make a transition to ALL AP classes to accommodate all those smart kids. Seems an awful lot of parents have a need to micromanage their kids' lives.
We take drives in really nice weather sometimes. There are NEVER kids out playing in yards or in parks. We spend time on the bike path behind the elementary/middle school in town. We never see kids on bikes (sometimes adults, but never kids), or kids playing on the playground or playing a pickup game of ball of any kind. If it isn't organized by adults, it doesn't happen.
Man, I could go on, and have on other threads, but kids just aren't allowed to be kids. They are micromanaged, told how to think, how to feel, how to act. They never are able to learn how to resolve problems because parents and other adults get in the middle and handle things for them.
Then these kids grow up and parents wonder why they never leave home or are unable to stand on their own in society, support themselves and be responsible adults.
It's consumerism that's worked its way into parenting and the lives of children. HS coaches insist on 'camps' in the off season if the kids want to play at the Varsity level. SAT tutoring. Different sports shoes for each sport (even different SOCKS!?). It's unbelievable. The worsening economy will soon be putting a stop to all that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom
Our HS expects camp attendance at EVERY level - if you expect to play the following season. Same with practice during breaks. Football players practice during fall break; basketball players practice/scrimmage during winter break and baseball players practice/scrimmage during spring break. No vacations for families of athletes!
All parents have to do is put their foot down. Why meet those unreasonable demands.
Different shoes and different socks? Not in this house. They wear what they have. There's no coach alive who could dictate to me what my kids wear.
All parents have to do is put their foot down. Why meet those unreasonable demands.
Different shoes and different socks? Not in this house. They wear what they have. There's no coach alive who could dictate to me what my kids wear.
Much easier said than done. If you have kids who are just not that into sports or if your kids are still young. Maybe. If your kids are into sports and MS or HS aged this is just the reality. Sad but true. DS is an athletic kid - will play any sport any time. He loves it. We drew the line where we could and still have him play. Uniforms? Not much you can do about that (in youth leagues you can hope for or stay with a coach who is more frugal in his expectations but that's about it); equipment is a necessary expense and you would be surprised at how expensive basic equipment is anymore. We said no to travel teams. Honestly, we are a family not a bunch of people there to support one child every weekend throughout the year. Did it hurt his sports opportunities? Maybe maybe not. Am I loosing sleep over it. Nope.
Regarding academics.... Rightly or wrongly, High Schools are ranked by the number of AP classes they offer and "succeed" with. Property values are largely based on highly rated school systems. If you think you are ever going to win that one you are naive.
No wonder the children are so out of control when they finally get some time to get away and be themselves.
The other day my grade schooler whined about being bored just sitting in the backseat. We weren't in the car for very long at all, I was just driving around taking care of some errands. I was about to drive an extra 30 mins (one way) to go get her Nintendo DS she left at a friends house. She also asked for the next car I buy to have a DVD player in the head rest. Other family members have that in their vehicles, but they also have 3+ children where as I only have one.
I honestly began to think about getting a TV in the car I was driving since I had no plan on getting a new one anytime soon.
Then it occured to me that when I was a child I had to sit in the backseat without any kind of entertainment other than looking out the window/daydreaming. You better believe I couldn't be whining about it either or my parents would have threatened to use a belt as a deterrent to stop the complaining!
Of course I wouldn't spank over whining, but I certainly didn't make that drive to get her a toy. She'll survive being bored. Actually she fell asleep after a while.
Some parents are competing with each other, and others are just looking for bragging rights. Personally I don't do either but I find myself wanting to make my child comfortable (for example the handheld games and considering the TV in the car) so I guess I am guilty of that.
All parents have to do is put their foot down. Why meet those unreasonable demands.
Different shoes and different socks? Not in this house. They wear what they have. There's no coach alive who could dictate to me what my kids wear.
The only reason to meet the demands of a HS coach is that the child really wants to participate.
As far as shoes-some sports really do require special shoes. When you wrestle you need wrestling shoes. You are not permitted on the mat without them.
When you play lacrosse cleats. If you wear regular sneakers to play lacrosse you will fall on your butt. You need different shoes. It is truly not unreasonable. You wouldn't wear high heels to run so why would you wear running shoes for wrestling?
As for socks. Socks are part of the uniform....No different than uniform shirts or shorts.
I'm not sure where all the outrage is coming from? Is it from parents of really young kids whose kids aren't there yet, so it sounds unreasonable?? Sports are like any other activity. If your child plays an instrument he will need that instrument. If your child plays a sport they will need whatever equipment is used in that sport.
I know things have definitely changed since I was a kid! I don't fall into all the "snobby, braggy stuff", but I am certainly willing to give my kids a chance at some things that I never had. I am constantly surrounded by parents that brag about what they have and what their kids excel at. It gets kind of annoying. My kids are well liked and excel at things also, but I don't feel the need to announce it to everyone I meet! OK - Now that I got that off my chest..................
I was a "surprise baby" when my parents were over 40 and they were good parents, but I never had birthday parties or got to do any kind of sports or any other activities that required them to drive me there (Needless to say, I did alot of walking!). Now I have an 11 year old boy and a 10 year old girl. My son wanted to learn guitar, so I put him in guitar. He goes once a week for an hour. That is about all he wants as far as extracurricular activities. Now, my daughter decided at 6 that she wanted to do gymnastics. She is still doing it at 10, but now it is ALOT more hours and ALOT more $$$$. I have told her that I will keep up with it as long as I can, but given the time and cost, that will be only activity that she can do. She is good with it. I remind her from time to time that she can take a break and try something else - or nothing for that matter!
I guess different things work for different families. I think it is okay to give them something (a sport, whatever) that can be their own, but you don't need to fill their every waking moment!
I feel like childhood has become so jacked up by parents - nothing is simple anymore and everything just seems so out of proportion. Some examples through the years that our family has battled against:
Private pitching coaches for seven year olds playing Little League since the dad coach is obviously NOT good enough
An entire class of little eight year olds getting a mani/pedi before their ballet recital
Martha Stewartesque class halloween and Valentines parties
Birthday parties at hotel suites, with limos...
Now in high school - More AP classes than my college had freshman courses. And clearly, everyone must take them...
I could go on and on! I wish we could stop this madness and get out of the business of escalating our kid's lives. Maybe the economic woes of the country will provide a reality check.
Thanks for listening!
Hello pinetreelover,
I agree w/ mostly everything but what's wrong w/
Martha Stewartesque class halloween and Valentines parties ?
Much easier said than done. If you have kids who are just not that into sports or if your kids are still young. Maybe. If your kids are into sports and MS or HS aged this is just the reality. Sad but true. ....... Rightly or wrongly, High Schools are ranked by the number of AP classes they offer and "succeed" with. Property values are largely based on highly rated school systems. If you think you are ever going to win that one you are naive.
I'm not naive at all and find that quite insulting.
The only reason to meet the demands of a HS coach is that the child really wants to participate.
As far as shoes-some sports really do require special shoes. When you wrestle you need wrestling shoes. You are not permitted on the mat without them.
When you play lacrosse cleats. If you wear regular sneakers to play lacrosse you will fall on your butt. You need different shoes. It is truly not unreasonable. You wouldn't wear high heels to run so why would you wear running shoes for wrestling?
As for socks. Socks are part of the uniform....No different than uniform shirts or shorts.
I'm not sure where all the outrage is coming from? Is it from parents of really young kids whose kids aren't there yet, so it sounds unreasonable?? Sports are like any other activity. If your child plays an instrument he will need that instrument. If your child plays a sport they will need whatever equipment is used in that sport.
Where did I say I'm outraged??? Kids only need what is necessary for the sport, not more. If parents want to bow to the wishes of a coach that has decided to dictate what they have no business dictating, then be my guest. My kids participated in sports and wore what they had fitting to what sport they were in.
Where did I say I'm outraged??? Kids only need what is necessary for the sport, not more. If parents want to bow to the wishes of a coach that has decided to dictate what they have no business dictating, then be my guest. My kids participated in sports and wore what they had fitting to what sport they were in.
I didn't specifically mean that you were outraged. Sorry about the confusion. The outrage seems more general.
I have three kids playing sports (2 youth, 1 HS) right now and I have never had coaches dictate anything other than uniform stuff. Socks are part of the uniform but they can wear any old socks to practice.
When you say coaches are dictating certain shoes and stuff they have no business dictating what exactly do you mean? Kids need cleats for lacrosse, soccer, football, baseball. They need the appropriate shoes for other sports (basketball, wrestling, etc.) Are coaches dictating other things besides that the kids have appropriate stuff for their sport?
Our school sells shoes and team stuff as a fundraiser but we are not required to buy it from them. The prices are fabulous though!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
