Childhood jacked up by parents, private pitching coaches, Martha Stewart Valentine’s parties, birthday parties at hotel suites with limousine rides, AP classes, expensive prom dresses

pinetreelover · 02-26-2009, 05:11 AM

I feel like childhood has become so jacked up by parents - nothing is simple anymore and everything just seems so out of proportion. Some examples through the years that our family has battled against:

Private pitching coaches for seven year olds playing Little League since the dad coach is obviously NOT good enough
An entire class of little eight year olds getting a mani/pedi before their ballet recital
Martha Stewartesque class halloween and Valentines parties
Birthday parties at hotel suites, with limos...
Now in high school - More AP classes than my college had freshman courses. And clearly, everyone must take them...

I could go on and on! I wish we could stop this madness and get out of the business of escalating our kid's lives. Maybe the economic woes of the country will provide a reality check.

Thanks for listening!

Connecticut Pam · 02-26-2009, 05:23 AM

I believe that raising kids over the past 40 years has changed beyond belief. My son was born in 1968, just had his 40th Birthday this past fall and the differences I see in kids now compared to how I raised him just blows my mind. Just the other day, I was talking to a friend of mine who has 3 children all still school age. Her daughter is going to be attending Prom and this woman spent $455.00 on a Prom dress alone! Later that same day while we were talking, her son came to her and wanted money to go snowboarding...she then forks out another $52.00 for just one day of snowboarding saying that she is going to get him a pass that is going to cost $500.00 for the whole snow season (snow or no snow!).

Parents now seem to feel the need to constantly entertain their children so the children have EVERYTHING they want and more. They have computers, laptops, Ipods, gameboys, WII and more.
They do NOT go outside an play like kids use to so now we are also raising overweight kids for lack of exercise.

Parents are afraid to discipline because now...kids know that they can call DCS if Mom slaps their ass for being fresh. I listen to my sisters kids talk to her and I cringe. She is afraid to discipline them. When did that happen?

My niece who just recently graduated High School tells me that there were some kids at her school who were having sex in the bathrooms, in the hallways, under the bleachers. Where and when did we lose control?

I think it is time for the parents now to stop being afraid of their kids, stop worrying about their kid not having what all the other kids have and take more time to teach these kids how to be just that...KIDS.

golfgal · 02-26-2009, 05:32 AM

When did we lose control? Honestly, I think it was about the time that sports stars starting making enormous salaries and everyone sees their kid as their get rich scheme.

I laugh at the pitching coach comment. DD has a girl on her basketball team that has had a pitching coach for softball for many years. The problem is that she pitches EVERY DAY, she is 13 years old. She won't LAST until high school, let alone college. Parents think they are giving their kids a leg up when they are really damaging their bodies to the point they won't be able to compete.

jaindow · 02-26-2009, 06:14 AM

Good thread and good question. This is something we find ourselves thinking and talking about often.

Regarding the academic aspect: Geography has a little to do with it since Education is funded and/or pushed more in some places than others. Then there is also the No Child Left Behind initiative that really pushed the bar. Now our governor (not sure if others have jumped on this bandwagon or not) has taken the position that we are in a global economy and for our children to be able to later compete in a global world, there should be benchmarks that allow us to compare our children not just within our own nation, but also against children in other countries.

Just last night I was reading an article titled, "Is Preschool the next Kindergarten." Highlights included Preschools who now take 2 year olds, kids who arrive in PreK and K with pre-reading and math skills already, and the concern over whether the kids are getting enough actual play. This single issue alone could be a thread.

maciesmom · 02-26-2009, 07:28 AM

It's been a gradual thing. I'd bet that most of us who are over 40 remember kindergarten as 1/2 day, learning shapes, colors and the alphabet as well as sitting still on the floor for story time. There was no preschool. Reading was taught beginning in 1st grade and using those "horrible" and "uninspired" Dick and Jane books. Life was simple. I managed to graduate HS (from a HS that is always listed in Newsweek's "top" high schools) with a good class rank without ANY AP class!! And I even got into college (a highly selective one at that) -gasp!. It's amazing I survived this long being so deprived and "lazy". Sports are the same - good grief. Do these people realize that most of these kids will not play past high school? I read somewhere several years ago about families that spend thousands (actually, the sport was hockey and I think it was tens of thousands) of dollars per season for their son to participate in travel hockey. They were trying to ensure he got a college scholarship. DS plays sports and we have seen these crazy people and yes, several kids get hurt (ask a dr. about the increase in ACL surgery for kids) or more often burnt out. By HS, honestly, some of these kids just don't care any more. It's not fun. It's a crazy crazy world we now live in.

maciesmom · 02-26-2009, 07:35 AM

Interestingly enough, DD is studying education in college. She told me recently that in her early childhood ed class they were given a bunch of random things like snow, pinecones, shaving cream, pasta, food coloring etc to "play" with. They were told that too many kids today are not only not given enough play time but the things they were given to "play" with are too structured - they are given too many toys with directions on how to use them and for a specific purpose. This doesn't allow their little minds to grow properly. Interesting. I also remember when my niece was young and my sister wanted to go buy her the latest new toy, her husband told her to take another trip through the kitchen cabinet! Tupperware and mixing bowls, whisks, pot lids....empty cardboard boxes for heaven's sake!

Houston3 · 02-26-2009, 07:42 AM

Some parents just need to let their kids be kids....

denverian · 02-26-2009, 07:54 AM

We have 9 mo. old twins, and one of my neighbors made some comment to me about how I'll soon be doing "play dates". My response was, "Are you kidding? There are at least 30 babies in their age group and two playgrounds within 2 blocks of our house. They can find their own play dates when they're old enough!"

mimimomx3 · 02-26-2009, 08:05 AM

It's consumerism that's worked its way into parenting and the lives of children. HS coaches insist on 'camps' in the off season if the kids want to play at the Varsity level. SAT tutoring. Different sports shoes for each sport (even different SOCKS!?). It's unbelievable. The worsening economy will soon be putting a stop to all that.

maciesmom · 02-26-2009, 08:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mimimomx3

It's consumerism that's worked its way into parenting and the lives of children. HS coaches insist on 'camps' in the off season if the kids want to play at the Varsity level. SAT tutoring. Different sports shoes for each sport (even different SOCKS!?). It's unbelievable. The worsening economy will soon be putting a stop to all that.

Our HS expects camp attendance at EVERY level - if you expect to play the following season. Same with practice during breaks. Football players practice during fall break; basketball players practice/scrimmage during winter break and baseball players practice/scrimmage during spring break. No vacations for families of athletes!