Why does Philadelphia have a reputation of being a rude, mean city? (Denver: hotel, house)

[MarketStEl]

Originally Posted by kyb01

So I would much rather be in place like Philly, who's people, generally, will not lie to my face. Or they won't pretend to like me or be friendly.

Oops! Had a comment on this too:

Kansas Citians are, by and large, outgoing and genuinely friendly - they're quick to make your acquaintance too.

I've found that many in the Northeast recoil (quietly) at this aspect of not only Kansas Citians but Midwesterners in general - it seems they consider this superficial.

I'm here to tell you it isn't.

[kyb01]

Originally Posted by MarketStEl

Bless their hearts.

(I learned from someone who'd lived in the South for years a while back that when a Southern woman says, "Bless your heart," what she's really saying is "F**k you.")

Or the other one, "Have a blessed day". Ugh. Complete bull pucky.

[kyb01]

Originally Posted by MarketStEl

Oops! Had a comment on this too:

Kansas Citians are, by and large, outgoing and genuinely friendly - they're quick to make your acquaintance too.

I've found that many in the Northeast recoil (quietly) at this aspect of not only Kansas Citians but Midwesterners in general - it seems they consider this superficial.

I'm here to tell you it isn't.

My best friend lives in a very small town in western Nebraska. I've been there several times and many people there seem to be the same way. I think it's because of the need to frequently rely on neighbors especially in the more rural parts of the mid-west and plains states.

Because we here, in the NE, live in much more congestion what we tend to care more about is efficiency and competence. The Septa thread shows that.

Personally I do not need people, who are strangers, smiling or talking to me in stores. What I want is for the store clerk to take care of my financial transaction if there is one or respond if I need help when asked. I don't need them volunteering if they can help me or I don't need them asking if I need anything else once I go through the act of payment.

Many of the Europeans I have gotten to know do not get American- style "friendliness". I'm like them in that I can become more friendly over time....once I've gotten to know you pretty well.

[KansastoSouthphilly]

Originally Posted by kyb01

Because we here, in the NE, live in much more congestion what we tend to care more about is efficiency and competence. The Septa thread shows that.

Personally I do not need people, who are strangers, smiling or talking to me in stores. What I want is for the store clerk to take care of my financial transaction if there is one or respond if I need help when asked. I don't need them volunteering if they can help me or I don't need them asking if I need anything else once I go through the act of payment.

Many of the Europeans I have gotten to know do not get American- style "friendliness". I'm like them in that I can become more friendly over time....once I've gotten to know you pretty well.

As another ~KC native living in Philadelphia the thing I found most surprising is that the east coast (be it NYC, Philly, DC etc.) is not more efficient. Everything in the Midwest is run more efficiently and your average retail transaction is significantly more pleasant. I've experienced this consistently for the past 11+ years everywhere from CVS, parking garages, sporting events, airport security and police, municipal offices, any sort of chain eatery or coffee places etc. Nothing in everyday life is "more efficient" here. The one exception I've found is service in "good" restaurants here in generally excellent though service in chain restaurants in substantially worse.


In KC people just do their jobs and they are friendly while they do it. It's nice. It is different from the South where people actually stop what they are doing to chat or to ask you a bunch of questions. In my experience people are not cold here because they are working harder or more efficiently; they are cold because the public accepts it. Same way the public accepts litter.

[Katarina Witt]

Originally Posted by kyb01

My best friend lives in a very small town in western Nebraska. I've been there several times and many people there seem to be the same way. I think it's because of the need to frequently rely on neighbors especially in the more rural parts of the mid-west and plains states.

Because we here, in the NE, live in much more congestion what we tend to care more about is efficiency and competence. The Septa thread shows that.

Personally I do not need people, who are strangers, smiling or talking to me in stores. What I want is for the store clerk to take care of my financial transaction if there is one or respond if I need help when asked. I don't need them volunteering if they can help me or I don't need them asking if I need anything else once I go through the act of payment.

Many of the Europeans I have gotten to know do not get American- style "friendliness". I'm like them in that I can become more friendly over time....once I've gotten to know you pretty well.

You beat me to it, KansastoSouthphilly!

And kyb01, I really don't care that the Europeans don't "get" American-style "friendliness" as you call it. It's hardly friendliness to treat your customers well and be polite to them. What on earth is wrong with asking if they can help? Today I was at a Home Depot in a city I shall not name (though I'd like to give them crap on the WWW). It took at least 20 minutes to get someone to help me buy a very specific light bulb for the light in a ceiling fan. I had no idea where I would find it in this large HD. I told someone working there who couldn't help me b/c it wasn't her department if I didn't really need it badly, I would have left without it. Here I am, in a strange (to me) store; my spouse who usually does the HD shopping in the hospital, and I can't get anyone to help me. And what's wrong with asking if you need anything else when they're done ringing you up? Maybe you were looking for something else (like a light bulb) and couldn't find it so gave up.

[kyb01]

Originally Posted by KansastoSouthphilly

As another ~KC native living in Philadelphia the thing I found most surprising is that the east coast (be it NYC, Philly, DC etc.) is not more efficient. Everything in the Midwest is run more efficiently and your average retail transaction is significantly more pleasant. I've experienced this consistently for the past 11+ years everywhere from CVS, parking garages, sporting events, airport security and police, municipal offices, any sort of chain eatery or coffee places etc. Nothing in everyday life is "more efficient" here. The one exception I've found is service in "good" restaurants here in generally excellent though service in chain restaurants in substantially worse.


In KC people just do their jobs and they are friendly while they do it. It's nice. It is different from the South where people actually stop what they are doing to chat or to ask you a bunch of questions. In my experience people are not cold here because they are working harder or more efficiently; they are cold because the public accepts it. Same way the public accepts litter.

I've been to Chicago, St Louis, Omaha and Lincoln( NE). Never been to KC. I love Chicago. The others I have not spent enough time in to say very much. I've spent way more time in the south.

I avoid chain restaurants so I don't see much of what you mean.

It's probably just me but I don't require total strangers talking to me like they know me.

[Pine to Vine]

Originally Posted by KansastoSouthphilly

In KC people just do their jobs and they are friendly while they do it. It's nice. It is different from the South where people actually stop what they are doing to chat or to ask you a bunch of questions. In my experience people are not cold here because they are working harder or more efficiently; they are cold because the public accepts it. Same way the public accepts litter.

My experience is different here. Regarding your bolded point, I think you are describing friendliness rather than friendly. I spent 26 years living in Houston before moving to Philly nearly eight years ago. In Houston, it was quite common when running into acquaintances to close the conversation as follows: "We'll have to get together sometime." Of course, this rarely happened - it was merely a cultural practice. And when it did happen, however, it entailed sharing dinner at a restaurant.

In Philly, however, people follow up on the promise to "get together soon." And in those instances, more often than not, we have been invited into people's homes. In fact, we have been invited into more homes in our 8 years in Philly than we were in our 26 years in Houston.

To me, it comes down to the difference between being polite vs being friendly.

[BigCityDreamer]

I am in Philadelphia frequently and have never found it to be a rude city. It is just regular people.

So, go figure.

[Pine to Vine]

Originally Posted by BigCityDreamer

I am in Philadelphia frequently and have never found it to be a rude city. It is just regular people.

So, go figure.

I’ve found my fellow Philadelphians to be polite. Perhaps because I’m polite myself?

[kyb01]

Originally Posted by Katarina Witt

You beat me to it, KansastoSouthphilly!

And kyb01, I really don't care that the Europeans don't "get" American-style "friendliness" as you call it. It's hardly friendliness to treat your customers well and be polite to them. What on earth is wrong with asking if they can help? Today I was at a Home Depot in a city I shall not name (though I'd like to give them crap on the WWW). It took at least 20 minutes to get someone to help me buy a very specific light bulb for the light in a ceiling fan. I had no idea where I would find it in this large HD. I told someone working there who couldn't help me b/c it wasn't her department if I didn't really need it badly, I would have left without it. Here I am, in a strange (to me) store; my spouse who usually does the HD shopping in the hospital, and I can't get anyone to help me. And what's wrong with asking if you need anything else when they're done ringing you up? Maybe you were looking for something else (like a light bulb) and couldn't find it so gave up.

And I really don't care that you don't care. Lol.

When I go into a store like that I ASK for what I want if I don't see it on my own. I like being independent as much as possible.

But I'm polite all the time. I open doors for people and say "please" , "thank you" and "excuse me".

Anyway I'm also, generally speaking, a cynical person. And that's based upon being the subject of a variety of things that have happened to me in my life like subtle denial of service because of racism or homophobia. One thing that I will never forget is being an object of humor behind my back in a retail establishment because of my sexual orientation while those doing it thought I couldn't hear them. But of course they presented fake smiles beforehand. This didn't happen in "rude" and mean/cold Philly or any other NE city that I've been to. But in a city that has one of those happier reps. And I will never step a toe in that city again.