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I am an atheist realist. Many people are not lucky enough to love and be loved by the same person throughout their entire lives. We live a lot longer than we used to, and we lead different lives. Actually, the very fact that love is the dominating factor today is the reason for the high divorce rate. In the past marriages were often just a social agreement. It often did not matter if people were compatible or attracted to each other. I am happy we are beyond that.
I am not. And you are right, the fact that marriage is now seen as ONLY being about the love and not at all about the promise is indeed the reason for the high divorce rate. People are just disgustingly self-centered, and there's no fooling anyone about it.
Then there is no reason to have such a thing as marriage at all.
Nobody needs to make public promises to stay together as long as they're happy.
Initially most couples do think it will last till they die. But life gets in the way.
People promise all kinds of things. And sometimes it makes sense to break a promise. I see no point in keeping a promise just for the sake of keeping a promise.
Having said that I would definitely support getting rid of that promise/vow and make it a statement of best intentions instead, so to speak.
I am not. And you are right, the fact that marriage is now seen as ONLY being about the love and not at all about the promise is indeed the reason for the high divorce rate. People are just disgustingly self-centered, and there's no fooling anyone about it.
Self-centered? I think we are simply much more aware of our one and only life and don't want to waste it.
I prefer getting a friendly divorce, so that those two people can still be friends and visit each other and spend time together with their kids. Divorce wars are much worse for kids as they sometimes feel like being the reason for it all or having to decide whose side to be on.
I am not. And you are right, the fact that marriage is now seen as ONLY being about the love and not at all about the promise is indeed the reason for the high divorce rate. People are just disgustingly self-centered, and there's no fooling anyone about it.
Indeed. The problem is that marriage has become, in the minds of most, primarily about LUUUVVV, which is to say sex and romance and warm fuzzies, and not about self-giving love in the classical sense.
My wife and I both come from divorced families. The difference, I was very young, my wife was in her teens. Make no mistake, it screwed us up in different ways. At least my mom did remarry, and is still with my step-dad who quite frankly has been more of a father than my real dad. It was still an adjustment. I always tell newlyweds, and couples who intend to get married, that in order for a marriage to last, you have to be best friends. When that initial bliss, and infatuation wears off (and it does) and when life has a tendency to get in the way (kids, money problems, job loss, health issues..ect...), in the end, if you're not best friends, then it isn't going to work. My wife and I are going on 12 years being married, and 16 years all together. So, considering that we both came from divorced families, we must be doing something right.
My wife and I both come from divorced families. The difference, I was very young, my wife was in her teens. Make no mistake, it screwed us up in different ways. At least my mom did remarry, and is still with my step-dad who quite frankly has been more of a father than my real dad. It was still an adjustment. I always tell newlyweds, and couples who intend to get married, that in order for a marriage to last, you have to be best friends. When that initial bliss, and infatuation wears off (and it does) and when life has a tendency to get in the way (kids, money problems, job loss, health issues..ect...), in the end, if you're not best friends, then it isn't going to work. My wife and I are going on 12 years being married, and 16 years all together. So, considering that we both came from divorced families, we must be doing something right.
Indeed, and in order to be best friends you have to be compatible.
Maybe it would make sense to postpone marriage till infatuation is gone, just like they say one should not go shopping on an empty stomach
I hope you will never get into that situation and be forced to realize you are being unfair.
No, I recognized a long time ago that the world doesn't revolve around me, so I doubt that will happen.
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