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Looking at practical, earthly considerations for marriage - financial/economic security, social status, mutual support, etc. - I can see these as motivating a marriage in the beginning but not through the long haul. Today, for example, women no longer need marriage for financial security and so they divorce their husbands in record numbers. Marriage is no longer a status indicator, and no one's social status will suffer as the result of a divorce, so why hang in there through hard times? For marriage to survive in modern society it seems to me that the religious element is more necessary than ever.
Anyway, go get some rest. I've enjoyed the exchange.
Exactly marriage is overrated! Sure protect the kids, but **** the wife!
Please, lady, do a little research before you start spouting off ignorantly. Very few divorces are for any of the reasons you mention. Most are for vague notions of "irreconcilable differences", "incompatibility", general unhappiness, or what have you.
FIRST it isn't lady ... almost all are for the reasons I stated, what is in the paper work is another matter.
Your wife must be one of those females so afraid of you she follows your every word.
So, people still do get married, unlike what you had claimed.
I don't know if those studies on cohabitation are solid. For instance one would have to look at how these people differ from married people, for instance in terms of social status, relationship history, age of the couples (older married people probably have different attitudes and behaviors than younger married people), the likelihood of abuse being reported (which is much less in married people, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't happen), etc.
Anyway, just assuming those findings are correct, why on earth would you want to make the death thingy binding? It would make the rate of cohabiting couples skyrocket...
Like it or not, you can't make society return to some old status, which you think was better than today's, by coercion.
I have made many mistakes, and still make them, and some of them do have lifelong consequences. Marriage is serious business. Treating it shabbily ought to have consequences.
Having said that, sometimes people suffer innocently. You might marry a woman who has an accident and is permanently disabled and brain-damaged. It's nobody's fault. But yes, you will suffer, and shouldn't you? "To love is to suffer." - Dostoyevsky
And another thing about this post..... If I hadn't known you were male this would let me know:
""You might marry a woman who has an accident and is permanently disabled and brain-damaged. It's nobody's fault. But yes, you will suffer, and shouldn't you? """
Only a man would look at that situation as HIS suffering completely ignoring the woman's suffering...
AND: I hope you're talking about a woman who already had kids or she doesn't really have a marriage..right? No breeding, no marriage according to you...so if she's incapacitated and can't breed what do you do with her????????????????
Your wife must be one of those females so afraid of you she follows your every word.
Ha, she'd laugh at that. I definitely married up. She's the brightest and most courageous woman I know, a professional with a doctorate who is nevertheless entirely devoted to her family. You should want to be her when you grow up.
Of course, haven't you seen the show Bridezillas, lmao
That's one of the worst problems for marriage, imo, crazy women obsessed with their weddings, but screw the reality of marriage that follows!
God Bless America....& God Help us....!
I know what you're sayin'.....that sick twisted concept of a wedding as some coronation of a god, or "We Must Impress Our Family and Friends With How Broke We Can Get Buying Party Decorations"... ...seems for some women and their mothers, the WEDDING itself is the important thing.
After that, everything seems pretty tame....boring...
If people didn't make such a big deal over a stupid ceremony maybe they could focus on their future together....
No, immaturity and shameless betrayal get in the way.
Biblical concepts were fine for Little House on the Prairie days. The fact is, there are a lot more demands on people these days from the outside world. There is a lot more input into people from media. We know a lot more about life and the world around us. We change.
We are no longer like pet dogs who can be herded into an area, breed, and can be told to stay in place.
Sometimes we just change in different ways. Sometimes our partner is not flexible. I don't think people should expect to stay in the same marriage for life, especially if you get married while young. I know I have changed considerably since in my twenties.
I think the problem is not that people break up and form new relationships, society is changing with us and that's just going to happen. I think the problem is with the children. Do people have them too easily? When people do choose to have them should the marriage be cemented legally in some way?
I do think many people have children who have little idea of how it will change their lives. It puts a horrendous strain on the marriage. It is even worse for a single parent who will not have the time to spend with the child as much as he/she would like and if the kid is male he will probably bring some trouble home. Kids know when they are not wanted and sometimes the novelty wears off and mummy's little blessing turns out not being so.
So, knowing that divorce will happen, should we be addressing the issue of having/rearing kids?
Ha, she'd laugh at that. I definitely married up. She's the brightest and most courageous woman I know, a professional with a doctorate who is nevertheless entirely devoted to her family. You should want to be her when you grow up.
Um, no....sorry, I would think most women of intellect want to be like themselves.
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